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Trinity
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My days of rest and relaxation, and family visitation, started the very next day. I would forever be grateful to Roisin and Gabriel for thinking of me like this. They were so thoughtful and kind.
Prior to this, I didn't know if I would even have the time to celebrate Reece's birthday with him, or even Talia's. What kind of wife and mother was I going to be if I didn't even celebrate my family's birthdays?
I didn't want to let my schedule rule my life. I didn't want to be one of those absentee parents. That wouldn't be what's best for my family. So, what I needed to do was figure out a way to lighten my workload. Maybe Aunt Glory and Athair mòr would have some suggestions for me while they are here.
Over the course of the next few days, all we did was hang out and talk with our family. Since none of them were just friends now, they were all related to us in one way or another. The kids all spent time together playing in either the playroom on the kid's floor of the royal tower, or at the daycare where they could spend time with a lot of other kids as well. More often than not, though, they were in Talia's room or the playroom.
It was nice being able to catch up with everyone and see them in person. I didn't realize how much I was missing them and missing spending time with my family. I needed to figure things out a little but take them a little more calmly.
On the third day they were here, when Reece took Reagan, Athair mòr and Trevor out for a boy's day (missing Torben only because he was too young). I had a private lunch with Aunt Glory and Daci (with Torben there to be our little snuggle buddy). While they did that, all of the girls were having a tea party in Rika's room.
"You're looking so great, Aunt Glory. Both of you are. Daci, you're even more beautiful than I remember you being. How is this even possible?" I laughed a little as I thought about how great they looked. They seemed so calm and relaxed.
"And you're looking so tired, Trinity. Why are you so exhausted?" Aunt Glory was giving me a look filled with concern and pity.
"I have been so busy lately, Aunt Glory. It's been hard for me to relax." I shrugged and answered her honestly while I held Torben against my chest.
"What is keeping you so busy? Why is it that you have such a hard time right now?" Daci was looking so concerned for me, I didn't like that I was worrying them.
"I made a lot of errors when I first started my kingdom. I have been working hard for the last few years to get them all settled and corrected. I don't want to ruin any more lives."
Even I could hear the sadness and heartache in my voice. I know that I was causing issues for everyone, but I couldn't help it. I know that the kids missed me and that I needed to spend more time with Reece, but I needed to make sure that the lives of over half the world were being protected and that they were taken care of. I have a lot of people that I need to think about, more than any other country in the world.
And I don't even want to get started on the fact that I had to deal with the fact that I have a 'kingdom' and not a 'country'. My people are spread out all over the world. They are different races, nationalities, and species. If you wanted to look at it and think about it in depth, you would see that I have the largest and most diverse group of people in the world. And because of that, I needed to be able to navigate through all of their individual cultures and customs.
I learned only after getting started with all of this, that just because we're all supernaturals, that doesn't mean that we all think and do things in the same way. We're diverse and different. We're so different to be exact, that it gives me a headache when trying to run things.
I did my best to explain some of that to Aunt Glory and Daci without sounding like I was complaining. I didn't want them to think that I expected them to help me in any way. Some advice would always be welcomed, but I wasn't going to expect them to do anything for me. This was my problem, a mess that I got myself into, and I was going to get myself out of it. One way or another.
They did have some advice for me though. And I was more than happy to listen.
"You can delegate work. That is why you have so many advisors and nobles. I am sure that some of them can do the work that you need to have done."
"But won't I then just be making them too busy? Won't I be burdening them?"
"Spread the work out. And you are the Queen, Trinity, you need to learn that you are the one that shouldn't be inconvenienced." Daci was the one telling me this, not Aunt Glory. To hear this from someone else, from someone who wasn't a queen, that started to make me feel a little better.
"She is right, Trinity. You need to understand that now, after your kingdom has been established and is functional, they need to cater to you more. How are you ever going to rule your people if you let them rule you?"
I did understand that. I really did. I just didn't want to cause more problems for my people than I already had. I didn't want to make them suffer. I didn't want to end up like those kings from history whose people revolted against their tyrannical authority.
"I can see in your eyes that you're not fully understanding me." Aunt Glory gave me a stern look. "What I am saying is," while Aunt Glory was talking another voice started to whisper at me. I could barely hear it but it was there. 'Your…ple…ing…die…' What was that? I tried to understand the words that voice was saying and to listen to Aunt Glory as well. "That you need to be firm with your people. You don't need to be a tyrant, but your people need to answer to and cater to you." I was so lost in that conversation right now. I didn't even know what Aunt Glory was saying anymore.
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." I felt a little dizzy from trying to follow both voices at the same time.
"I said that you need to," 'run…Trinity…go…people…die…fault…' "stop trying to do everything on your own. You need to let other people," 'they…die…all…fault…all your…can't save…die…your fault.' "Trinity, are you even listening to me?"
"I am. I mean I was, yeah. It's just, I heard another voice. Did you hear someone else talking just now?"
I asked Aunt Glory as I started to look around the room. I didn't see anyone aside from Aunt Glory, Daci, Roisin, Torben, and Aunt Glory and Daci's personal attendants. There was no one else here. Could one of their attendants have said that? What was going on?
"No, Trinity, I didn't hear anything. Did you, Daci?"
"No, I'm sorry Trinity, I didn't hear anything but Glory's voice. Are you feeling alright?"
"I don't know. I think I am just going to call it a day. I am sorry, Aunt Glory. I think I need to rest a little bit." I stood and handed her Torben who was happy to be back in his mother's arms.
I left the room without Roisin, without Gabriel, without a guard. I just went straight up to my room and laid on my bed.
"I must be losing my mind.." I shook my head as I thought about what was going on.
