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Trinity
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I wanted to cry right now. How could time have passed so quickly? How was this even possible? What was I supposed to do about this? How could I make time move slower?
All those questions, and more, raced through my head as I silently cried in front of Rika's closet. I was looking at all the things in there and wondering where my little baby had gone.
That sweet and innocent little girl that I used to hold in my arms was gone. That little girl who loved butterflies and dragons, that sweet little devil girl that liked to play tricks on her brother and charm her way out of it with a smile and a hug, where was she now?
All I could see now, all that was left, was a big girl that was growing up so fast. She and Reagan both were growing up so fast. I couldn't take it. This was all happening so fast. I wasn't ready.
"Trinity? Little Bunny, what's wrong?" Reece asked me as he came into the room, the twins in tow.
"Daddy, why do you call Mommy Little Bunny?" Rika asked him with her ever growing curiosity filling her voice.
"I call her that as a nickname or a term of endearment. It's because I love her." Reece was holding Rika's hand and turned to look her in the eyes when she spoke. He always treated the kids with respect and gave them a great example to follow.
Still, as serious as he was being, I couldn't help but laugh.
"Don't let Daddy fool you. He didn't start calling me a bunny out of love." I was giggling when I turned to face my family.
"Really?" Rika sounded shocked.
"Why did he start?" Reagan asked me, his curiosity peaked as well.
"Well, you see, there was a time when Mommy was really scared about something, and Daddy said that I looked like a scared little bunny. And from that day on, he has called me his Little Bunny."
"Daddy, that was mean, you shouldn't have made fun of Mommy when she was scared." Rika scolded him.
"Yeah, that doesn't sound like something you should do to someone you love." Reagan scolded him next.
"I wasn't making fun of her. She looked so adorable when I saw her that night that I simply couldn't help myself. And I continued calling her that because she is still cute."
"No Daddy, Mommy isn't cute." Rika was still scolding him.
"That's right. Mommy is beautiful. She is so much better than cute. That is for little girls like Rika and Talia. They're cute. Mommy is beautiful." Reagan was being my knight in shining armor right now. I didn't need it, of course, but he was defending my honor with Reece, and it was so adorable.
"Yes, I know. She is the most beautiful woman in the world, but she is still my Little Bunny. That will never change."
"Do you have a name for me, Daddy?" Rika batted her eyes at him.
"I sure do, baby girl. You're my precious little princess. And Reagan is my little man."
"You think of everyone as little, don't you?" Reagan crossed his arms and pouted.
"To me, you are. But you will be big and strong like me one day. Don't worry, son." Reece ruffled his hair.
Reagan was satisfied with that answer. He wanted to be a big strong fighter like his daddy was. I didn't want him to fight, but his future was his to decide, not mine.
From there, the four of us finished picking out the special outfits for the next day. We needed to get them ready so that the morning would go more smoothly. I could have had someone else take care of this, but this was a special occasion, and their personal attendants hadn't yet been chosen or trained.
I had a very unrestful night's sleep. I kept having nightmares about my babies leaving me. They were growing up and going out on their own and I was never going to see them again. Reece was almost annoyed with how I kept tossing and turning all night. That was, until he pulled me into his arms and kept me pressed against his chest. That was when I finally fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
Anxiety was running high the next morning. All through breakfast I felt like I was going to snap and start sobbing like a little baby. Today was the day. Today I was going to be sending my kids out on their own. Today I was going to drop them off and just leave them.
HOW COULD I DO SUCH A THING! I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON?!
The children were dressed and ready to go. They looked adorable in their crisp little uniforms. Rika in a cute little pleated black skirt with gray tights. She was wearing a white button up shirt, with a dark green tie, a dark blue sweater vest, and a medium gray blazer. The uniform was so cute on her. It was even topped off with adorable little dress shoes.
Reagan was dressed similarly. He was wearing black pants, a white shirt, green tie, blue sweater vest, and gray blazer. His look was finalized with a pair of little black loafers that I thought were the cutest thing ever.
After the children were dressed, Reece helped Reagan with his hair, and I did Rika's. I brushed her long, beautiful, wavy black hair and luxuriated in the silky feel of it. After I made sure there were no knots in her hair, I parted it down the middle and then pulled it up into high twin-tails. One on either side of her adorable little head. Her hair, with it's natural waves like mine, looked perfect in this hairstyle. I knew that she wouldn't like it for too long but I was going to do it for as long as she let me.
Now that the twins were dressed, we got Talia in her car seat so that we could all head out. It was a short drive, but we were making it as a family so that I was able to distract myself. Unfortunately, the drive was over sooner than I thought it would be.
When we pulled up to where we were going, I got out and helped Reagan and Rika from the car while Reece got Talia and held her in his left arm. He then took Reagan's left hand while I stood in between the twins and held their hands as well.
I was about to cry again. Dammit. Why was I so emotional about this?
Together, the five of us went into the building and down the noisy hallways. There were so many other people around that I immediately worried about my children. I had to deal with it though, there was nothing that I could do.
Finally, we got to the room where we were going. There was a young and beautiful woman standing outside, greeting people as they went inside.
"Hello, nice to meet you, I am Mrs. Buhler. It's wonderful to meet you. What are your names?" She was addressing the twins, not us.
"My name is Reagan, and I am the older twin."
"My name is Rika, and my brother is a butthead."
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Reagan and Rika." She was giggling at Rika's words, but she wasn't done yet. "However, we don't use the word butthead here, OK."
"OK." Rika just shrugged.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you." The woman held her hand out to me, so I let go of Rika's hand so I could shake it.
"Hello, it's nice to meet you, Mrs. Buhler. My name is Trinity, Trinity Gray."
"It's a pleasure, Mrs. Buhler. My name is Reece Gray."
I swear that the woman looked shell shocked right now. She was still holding my hand and just staring at us with wide eyes.
"Th..th..th..the Qu..Qu..Qu..-." She stuttered and couldn't finish.
"Yes, Mrs. Buhler. I am Queen Trinity, and this is King Reece. Please don't let that affect you. The twins are kids like anyone else."
"O..O..OK!" She was still in a state of shock.
"U..u..uhm, w..w..welcome to the classroom. Reagan, Rika, I hope you like it here."
"We will." The two of them said together then walked into the room.
"Reece? Why am I doing this again?" I asked him with tears in my eyes again.
"Because it's time for them to start preschool, Little Bunny. Everything will be OK. We will pick them up in the afternoon."
"I'm sad."
"I know. Come on." He took my hand and led me out of the building and to the car. I didn't want to leave my babies. I didn't want them to be without me right now. I had spent so much time away over the years because of work and now they were going to be spending so much more time away from me. This was so sad.
I knew that it needed to be done. I knew that this was the right thing. I knew that time was moving on and I couldn't stop it. But knowing all of that didn't make it any easier for me to accept it. I was sad, dammit. I was a mother, and I just gave my children away to a stranger. Yeah, I know, they're an employee at a school that I own and all that, but that doesn't mean anything when I have to be the one to drop my kids off and just leave them. How do people do this? How did my parents do this? It feels like I am going to die from the sadness and heartache.. This school day can't end quickly enough.
