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Reece
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Trinity and I had those first few moments after the babies were born all to ourselves. She had fed them, and all she wanted to do was hold them now. I could see the love and joy in her eyes as she looked at our children. I couldn't have been more proud of her at that moment. She was the most amazing thing that had happened to me, and I would never forget that. Ever!
The problem was, it was now approaching one in the morning, and my Little Bunny was exhausted. She had been exhausted before all of this started a few hours ago. She had gone to bed early to get some sleep because she was so tired, and then the excitement started. She needed to rest now.
As I got to my feet, setting Reagan into his little bed that the nurses had brought in for us, I saw her eyes droop just a little. She was fighting the sleep, but she would lose soon.
"Here, Little Bunny, let me take Rika." I saw a shocked look of heartache and loss flash in her eyes when she heard me. "You need to sleep, sweetheart. I will take the baby and let you rest. They will be here when you wake up. We all three will be." I smiled at her.
"I know, Reece. I know I need to sleep, but I don't want to let them go. I want to hold them forever." There was a long note in her voice that told me she was afraid of them not being there when she woke up. I know she was still carrying scars from the first pregnancy. This was going to be hard for her, but I would be there to help her with it as much as I could.
I gently leaned in and kissed the top of her head, a soothing and loving gesture. Following the kiss I pressed my cheek against her hair and took solace from the solidness of her, knowing that he was here with me. That was what she needed to do now as well.
"You feel me right now, don't you. I am here, and I am not going anywhere. You can feel Rika right now, the weight of her in your arms and the solidness of her body as you hug her close. You felt the same with Reagan. We're all here with you, Trinity. We're here, and we're not leaving."
Slowly, as if the tension was melting from her body, I felt my Little Bunny relax just a little.
"I know, Reece." Her voice was soft and shook just a little. "But even though I see them, even though I can hold them, it still doesn't feel real to me yet. It's almost like a dream right now and I am just waiting for the nightmare part of it to set in again. I'm scared, and I'm nervous. I'm afraid to close my eyes and look away from them for even a second. I don't want to miss something or to have them disappear on me." I could tell that she was close to crying, and that she needed me more than I thought.
I slid onto the bed next to her, my hip pressed against her so she had that little bit of extra touch to sooth her. My arms came to rest on her back, near her shoulders. With my head still leaning against hers, I was able to look down and see the baby that was sleeping in her arms. We were so close, the three of us were all touching in some way.
"I know you're scared, honey. I know you are. I am scared too. I have been since the day you got pregnant. I wasn't able to save you last time, and that has eaten away at me every minute of every day since. We lost our first chance at being parents, but having Reagan and Rika isn't like a redo or a second chance for us. They're not replacements for what we lost."
I watched as Trinity lifted her eyes to look at me instead of our daughter; we were now looking into each other's eyes instead at the child we had made together.
"I know that from this day forward, until the day that I pass from this world, I will never forget the first baby that we lost. He or she would have been here, they would have been a few months old by now. They were stolen from us, and we have to wear that scar for the rest of our lives. What that scar will mean for us though, is that we will never once take our children for granted. We will know the fragility of their lives, and we will protect them fiercely. What this scar means for me is that I will do my absolute best to keep any and all dangers away from all of you. I would give my life to protect you all in a heartbeat, but I would rather be there to watch over you all in person."
I gave her my best smile, letting her know that I was trying to be supportive, and even with the things that I was saying, this was hard for me too. I wasn't done though, I needed to keep going.
"What this scar means for you, Trinity, is that you will be a great mother. You will love our children with all of your heart. I know that you will put them first in everything. They will come before you, before me, before our friends and family that are waiting to meet them. These children, and any other children we have in the future, will never want for love from either of us."
I smiled as I saw the way she was looking at me. I know that look meant she was agreeing with me. She was going to love them too much at times, but that was impossible.
"I know that I am going to have to remind you over the years to take care of yourself and to do things for yourself. That's OK though. We will both be dedicated to our children and to each other. We will be a strong, loving, and happy family."
I rubbed her back a little and pulled her just a little closer. I wanted her to know that I meant every word that was coming out of my mouth, that I wasn't just placating her, and for that she needed to feel the emotions flowing from me and into her. She needed to know how strongly I felt about this.
"Whenever you are scared, whenever you are worried about something, Trinity, I want you to come to me. I want you to tell me what you are feeling and share that burden, no matter what it is. I will do the same for you. I will protect you and our children from harm, but that is physically. I need you there for the emotional shield as well. I can't do that part without you. You and I are both pillars in this life of ours. It may seem shaky and scary right now, but hold on tight to me babe, and I will make sure that the foundations are strong."
Trinity laughed then, like she was finding everything too funny to hold it in anymore.
"Fido, I love you." She giggled.
"Yeah, I know. And I love you too." I grinned at her.
"You know, you didn't have to go and make that whole speech, I knew most of that stuff already." There were tears in her eyes, but she was smiling nonetheless.
"Yeah, I know you knew it, but you seemed to be wavering. So, I thought I should reaffirm it all for you." I kissed the tip of her nose. "You and I became family when we mated, but we shared vows with each other eight months and fourteen days ago." I grinned at the fact that it had been such a rounded number. "Today, we became not just a couple that was mated and married. No, today we brought our children into this world and became a real family. I am a father, and you, Trinity Gray, are a mother. We have three children total, two here with us and one watching over us from the eternal hunt. That child, whoever he or she would have been, is a part of us as well as Reagan and Rika. That baby is waiting for us, but they're not alone. Your mother and my father are there as well, and together the three of them are watching over us all."
"Reece." She sobbed a little. "How did I get lucky enough to have you?"
"That's something else, Little Bunny, I'm the lucky one. I was such a bad mate in the beginning that I nearly lost all of this. I am the one who should be thanking my lucky stars and the Goddess every day, grateful that I have you and these babies with me now."
I kissed her lips then, soft and gentle as she nearly started to cry again.
"That's enough now." I slid my arm under Rika softly, I managed not to wake her as I slid her toward my chest. "You need to sleep, my love. I will watch over you and our babies. You need to get some rest so that you can take care of them with me."
"I love you Reece." She smiled, but laid back against the pillow that was behind her.
"And I love you, too. I love you to the moon and back, to the stars and beyond, forever and ever." I grinned at her as I said the slightly childish words. I couldn't help but say them; they were true after all.
"I love you to the moon and back, to the stars and beyond, forever and ever." She grinned and mimicked me.
With that she closed her eyes. She was so exhausted that she fell asleep almost instantly.
"See that, Rika?" I whispered as I looked down at the sleeping baby. "Mommy was so tired that she fell right to sleep. We need to let her rest for now. How about we go and meet some of your family? Do you think you and your brother would want to do that?" I couldn't stop smiling. I was feeling so much love for my family.
