Chapter 373: The Derpy Dwarf
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
“Look, there’s light ahead,” dwarf Riel called. He sped forward.
He was so excited after being in this mine hole for two hours. If news of him getting lost in a dwarf mine hole traveled back to Moria, the dwarven capital city, he would be so humiliated.
Yes, he must tell Master Link and Milda to keep this a secret.
Link immediately cast a traceless spell and said, “Don’t run out when we get to the exit. We need to see where we are.”
“No problem,” Riel replied. He gained momentum as he ran and quickly passed the corner.
Milda couldn’t help but shake her head and chuckle. “This guy is so funny. He’s so old but still acts like a kid.”
Riel had been serious, but after they became more familiar with each other, he began relaxing and showing his derpy side.
Link didn’t find his personality strange. In the game, he’d met too many funny dwarves. If you stayed in a dwarf’s inn, you’d see many interesting things. For example, a dwarf once lit his beard with his pipe and poured hard liquor on it. His entire body had lit on fire.
A dwarf had run under a dragon’s stomach to research the dragon’s gender. Another dwarf used a magic gun to hit at a fly on food and ended up smashing all the food on the table. There were many similarly shocking cases.
Anyway, one had to be prepared for all types of situations when with a dwarf…
Dammit, I jinxed myself!
Just as Link was about to speak, there was a cry from outside the tunnel. It was a tragic cry and made one’s guts clench, involuntarily close one’s legs, and cover one’s crotch.
Just as Link and Milda exchanged a glance, not sure what happened, Riel scampered back. As he ran, he called, “Oh no, ack—there’s a demon outside, and he saw me.”
When the guy ran over, Link saw that his head was covered in black mud. There was also a disgusting smell that made him nauseous.
“What exactly happened?” Milda covered her nose and cast a cleaning spell to get rid of the “mud” on Riel’s head.
As Rield walked deeper inside the tunnel, he said, “The tunnel opens up skyward. When I went there, a Fodor Flaming Demon was taking a dump. I think he ate some bad food. That guy was like a spray gun. I wasn’t paying attention, and it got all over me. I even swallowed some…I was so pissed! I slammed my hammer on his ass. I’m sure he’s injured now, but more demons will run after us later. Let’s run…ugh….ack…it’s so disgusting!”
“Ugh!” Milda ran with Riel. She just wanted to throw up.
Link’s throat felt uncomfortable hearing this too. Pushing down his urge to vomit, he asked, “Demon feces are poisonous. How are you feeling now?”
“Ah, poisonous? No wonder my stomach hurts now…Ah!” Riel missed a step and tripped. He fell down and couldn’t climb back up. His face was black as if he was heavily poisoned.
Link hurried over to help him. Milda continued holding her nose. She pulled out a bottle of Elf Nectar and gave it to Link from afar. “Here, feed it to him.”
Pulling out the stop, Link poured the green liquid into Riel’s mouth. As expected of the sacred antidote, Riel started vomiting violently after drinking it. Mouthfuls of stinking black liquid spewed from his mouth. After throwing up three mouthfuls, he was finally clean.
Riel was a Level-7 Warrior and was very strong. He wasn’t poisoned deeply and had the antidote promptly, so he recovered after resting for half a minute.
He shook his head and took out a bottle of liquor. Rinsing his mouth, he put the liquor away and breathed deeply. “Thank you, Your Highness,” he said to Milda. “Those demons are so f*cking disgusting.”
“Enough, let’s go now!” Milda had had enough. She’d thought this dwarf was like a kid, but now, she thought he was an insufferable bastard.
Seeing that Milda was upset, Riel shrugged. “I’m the one who drank it, and I’m not complaining. What are you angry about…alright, I’ll stop talking. Let’s go. I saw many demons patrolling outside. They seem to know our plan.”
He led them deeper into the mine hole. Link, Milda, and Nana followed.
As they ran, Nana asked curiously, “Riel, what does demon poop taste like?”
“Nana!” Milda yelped. She was going to have a breakdown.
“Nana, stop talking,” Link commanded.
“Oh.” Nana didn’t say anything else.
Riel didn’t know what it tasted like. He ran powerfully without speaking. Dwarves had a weird and funny personality, but they were naturally sensitive to cave tunnels. He memorized it all after one trip.
The group quickly returned to the cave along the original path. Finally, Riel stopped before a black tunnel. “We didn’t go down this road. I have a feeling that it’s very, very deep and might lead to danger. Are you sure we should go in?”
Milda looked at Link, who nodded without hesitation. “Of course. The demon general is very strong. If we run into her, we’ll die.”
“Alright, follow me.” Riel didn’t dare face someone about to enter the Legendary level. He widened his eyes, picked up his battle axe, and went into a defensive posture. He walked towards the deep, dark cave.
…
On the other hand, the Fodor Flaming Demon’s cry traveled far. After a while, a team of demons hurried over. When they arrived, the Fodor Flaming Demon was already dead. His stomach had been torn open by a hit form below. His guts were everywhere, and it was tragic.
It was clearly a sneak attack.
There was a two-foot-wide crack beside him. A demon crouched down and sniffed strongly. “Uh…it smells like poop…and…sniff…it should be a dwarf’s scent. Those rats are hiding under these rocks!”
“You found the rats?” asked a lovely voice. It was Saroviny.
“Your Highness, a dwarf appeared here and killed Lomen.”
Saroviny walked over. Seeing the feces on the rock, she wrinkled her brows. She took out a handkerchief to cover her nose and started investigating carefully.
“A dwarf had indeed tried to come out of here… The footprints on the rock are very deep. He’d used power and stomped hard… He’s quite strong, should be a Level-7 Warrior. This should be the dwarf’s King of Mountains… I can feel that Link is with him.”
Saroviny laughed. She stepped back and said to the Fodor Flaming Demons beside her, “Make the hole bigger and get rid of all the waste. I don’t want to smell a thing. Then you and you shorter ones go in with me. We’re going to catch the rats!”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
The Fodor Flaming Demons immediately started working. They used their claws, Battle Aura, and feet to attack the rocks. For them, the hard rocks were as soft as dirt.
After a few minutes, the small crack was many times wider. Finally, it revealed a tunnel around ten feet tall and six feet wide. The two Saroviny had chosen were Dimensional Demons. They were only about seven feet tall. The hole was big enough for them.
“Alright, let’s go in.”
…
Booms came from behind them. Link and the others exchanged glances and saw shock in their eyes.
“They’re coming. We gotta hurry!” Riel quickened his steps. Link easily caught up while Milda was a bit slower. She activated the Cheetah’s Agility spell for herself. However, she still hadn’t recovered and looked exhausted.
Link saw it unintentionally and felt a twinge. “Nana,” he said, “carry Princess Milda.”
“No need…alright.” Milda had refused instinctively, but she was honestly too tired. Her vision was blurry. She knew that holding on stubbornly would only slow down the team, so she nodded and accepted.
Nana picked her up and continued walking.
Link was at the back of the group, wiping their footprints clean.
They advanced. The further they walked, the more spacious the tunnel became. It became darker as well, and they couldn’t see the path clearly. But strangely, the wind grew stronger.
It wasn’t blowing from within the tunnel. Instead, it was being sucked in from behind them. The further they walked, the stronger the wind became.
Woo, woo. The wind whistled, almost making them lose their balance. It felt like a hand pushing them forward.
Suddenly, Riel yelped. He missed a step and lost his balance. Woo. A gust of strong wind came just then and blew him a few feet ahead. That wasn’t all. He continued falling down. It was so dark, and they couldn’t see anything.
“Light spell!”
Whoosh! A ball of light appeared, illuminating the tunnel. Link found that there was an underground cliff up ahead. Riel had been blown off the cliff.
Seeing that Riel was about to disappear from his line of sight, Link hurriedly cast a spell for him. “Levitation!”
But it didn’t work!
Riel kept dropping at an incredible speed. He struggled and yelled, “There’s wind! The wind keeps blowing down! Oh, Glorious Lord, I’m gonna die!”
