A big smile drew itself onto the little boy’s face over that promise which roused a startled look from Bai Yan. In this mother’s view, this ghoul like version of her son had always been sad and grieving, never did she ever seen him smile in any way or form. To think he too could make such a warm and brilliant smile was beyond her expectations.
“Mother, being able to hold you like this, I’m finally…. Satisfied.”
Of the many reasons his grudge would never disperse even after reincarnation, one was because he died before being born at the hands of those people, the other was that he couldn’t give Bai Yan a real huge in light of coming so close to entering this world. He only wants to embrace his mother, just once, even once would’ve been enough.
“But Mother, between me and him, which do you like more?” With his reddishly blood colored eyes, the boy looks up with hope and anticipation.
“If, only one of us can exist, which of us will you choose?”
The question left Bai Yan choked for words because that’s a dilemma no parent would ever want to choose.
Obviously sensing the hesitancy in her voice, the boy hangs his head down again: “I am not a person, I’m only a wisp of grudge left behind from the previous life. If between an unreal entity like myself and a real soul, I know Mother will choose the soul. It’s okay, I understand, I’m the unwanted one here, after all, I should’ve been long gone by now.”
Hurrying to hug him even tighter, Bai Yan frowns and refutes that logic: “Don’t say anything stupid! Since when have I thought of you as an unreal entity? You are my child, you and Xiachen, both are my baby boys. Don’t worry, with the help of the celestial fox’s blood, you two can live together in equilibrium.”
Shaking his little head, the boy knew that’s not true. “No, I can sense the power coming off of the celestial fox’s blood. It will transfer my strength to Xiachen, by then… I will disappear on my own.”
What?
Bai Yan’s figure visibly stiffened up.
If he takes the blood of the celestial fox then he will disappear?
So that means Chu Yi God deceived me?
“Mother, the reason I went to your dream to search for you is because I was unhappy and resentful of not being able to accompany you, and…. I couldn’t hug you! Now that I know you love me, I am satisfied….”
Truth was this ghoul version of Bai Xiachen had always been able to see the outside world through the eyes of the regular version so he knew full well what Bai Yan intended to do with that fox blood. Pity though, the good gesture was for naught because it wouldn’t have done what it was supposed to do….
“I’ve said it, I’ll find a way to allow both of you to live in this body together!” Growing increasingly more anxious in the face, Bai Yan presses her hands against the boy’s shoulder to show she means it.
Grinning: “Actually, what that person said is not entirely false. The celestial fox’s blood can merge me and the other me together, just that I’m a grudge deprived from the soul in the past. It’s the main reason why the other me is always so bright and happy, he’s lacking the dark side that is I in his soul. If I merge with him then that would in essence bring us back into one, and I too would be part of him forever again.”
Perhaps if this grudge hadn’t existed to begin with and stayed with Bai Xiachen’s soul from the start, his personality might not be as lovable and cuddly as now. Maybe this wasn’t the real personality the little steambun should’ve had, maybe he needs this grudge to become whole again!
Stiffly turning to her own husband for confirmation, Bai Yan appeared almost distraught in the face: “Is what he said true? That he will disappear completely inside Xiachen’s soul if I use the fox blood?”
As adamant as he was about bringing the bad news, Di Cang eventually nodded: “I never told you this method is because…. It’s true. It can help our son become whole again, but it will also mean…. he over there will disappear for good and live on as another part of our boy.”
Boom!
Like a sunny day being hit by a thunderstorm from out of the blue, Bai Yan’s already injured and struggling body finally gave in. She could hardly keep her footing and fell to the ground, those fists tightly clenching from pain and anger until she could barely breath. It’s suffocating knowing what she nearly did with her own two hands….
