During dinner, Zeke shot suspicious glances at all of us throughout the meal.
"Is something wrong, son?" Mr. Atkins raised an eyebrow at Zeke.
Zeke squinted at Dave. "I hope not. I don't want anything to jeopardize my last season in high school."
Mr. Atkins looked at Dave. "Why is he looking at you?"
Dave shrugged. "How am I supposed to know? I've been nothing but a model student." He looked at Noah meaningfully. "I think Noah has something to tell you guys though."
I stifled a laugh at how quick Dave was to throw Noah under the bus.
Under everyone's gazes, Noah rubbed his nose. "Well, Jeremy's uncle spoke to the news and denied that Jake was related to them."
Mrs. Atkins gasped and Mr. Atkins eyes narrowed. Zeke was also surprised since he didn't hear it earlier.
"Soooo, I went to a blog and said some mean things…Anonymously!" Noah added before he could get scolded. "And Kyle said it was unlikely to gain any attention. They receive a lot of anonymous comments every day."
"Noah James." Mrs. Atkins scolded.
"Noah, you should know better than to let your anger get the better of you." Mr. Atkins told him with a stern expression.
"I know, I know." Noah bowed his head. "Jake and I already talked about it."
"Oh?" Mrs. Atkins looked surprised. She looked at me. "And what were your thoughts on the matter?"
I shrugged, sinking a little more in my seat, feeling shy with the attention. "It's nonsensical."
"What?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's meaningless." I answered the twins. "They don't want me and I don't want them. Why bother?" I blushed. "I like being here."
"And we love having you here, Jake." Mrs. Atkins smiled at me warmly.
Mr. Atkins frowned, but didn't say anything about it. At least, not until after dinner. After the table was cleared and everyone started to go their own ways, he pulled me back.
"Jake, let's take a second to talk." He called for me.
Noah had already run off to take his shower so I didn't have an excuse not to.
I walked over. "Yes?"
He waved me over, heading for the back sliding door. "Let's sit on the back porch for a few minutes while there's some sun left."
I swallowed hard and followed. We both went out and sat down, looking out to the backyard, with the sun setting in the west.
"I just wanted to talk to you a little more about your brother. And your uncle, I guess." He looked at me. "I don't want you to feel that you have to give them up to stay with us."
It was my turn to frown. "I'm not doing that. They're the ones that don't want me."
Mr. Atkins gave me a sad smile. "I'm sure they're just confused right now. When it gets all straightened out, then who knows…maybe they'll want to get to know you?"
My frown deepened. "They had a decade. A whole decade. It's not like I was born after they left or after my dad died. Jeremy is seven years older than me. He knew me. He knew I existed. He probably saw me everyday for three years."
Mr. Atkins reached out and pulled me into a side hug. "We don't know the circumstances just yet. When we get all the facts, then I'll let you make a clear-cut decision. For now, let the pieces just fall. I don't want you to miss out on a relationship with your own blood relatives."
I looked up at Mr. Atkins. He looked slightly upset, probably thinking of his own family. "It's not me that's shutting them out." I told him. "It's the other way around. I'm just—I'm just trying to make it hurt less." I looked down at my hands. "If I tell myself it's meaningless, then it won't hurt if they keep rejecting me."
He squeezed my shoulder. "Okay, kiddo. Just keep an open mind. If you ever want to talk more about it. Them. Or of anything at all, then we can make a trip to Dr. Moore."
I nodded.
He let me go back inside as he chose to sit outside for a few more minutes.
I went straight to the room I shared with Noah and pulled out my math book.
"You're not going to copy Kyle's?" Noah asked in a low tone, after figuring out what I was doing.
I shook my head. "I already did it once. It'll be even easier and faster this time around." I whispered. "I don't want Zeke or your parents to get mad."
"They wouldn't be too mad." He shrugged. "Just disappointed. Like when I admitted to sending a message to a blog. You saw. I wasn't even grounded."
I shrugged. "I just don't want to let them down."
Noah rolled his eyes. "Whatever. It's your life. Do what you want."
It really only took me half an hour to redo my work. Afterwards, I took a shower and then got in bed.
***
"Today's game will be tough." Coach told us after we got off the bus at Golden West. We were dressed and ready to start warmups after getting instructions from Coach. "Warm up properly and don't slack off, or I'll replace you. Here's the lineup:
1 2B Jake Hollander
2 1B Julian Wilson
3 LF Mahki Holstrom
4 CF Zeke Atkins
5 RF Tanner Erickson
6 3B Jason Morris
7 SS Noah Atkins
8 C Alex Farrell
9 P Garret Knudsen
"Garret, focus on pitching. Let the others handle offense." Coach advised. "I made you last so you can relax. If I see you struggle for two batters in a row, I'll bench you and put Kyle in."
Kyle grinned. "I can handle it Coach!"
Coach glanced his way. "Same goes to you. If you get to go in, I won't hesitate to bench you if I see any signs of a struggle. Today's game is super important in determining where we rank in the standings. Winning should be on the forefront of everyone's mind." He turned to Zeke and nodded.
"Let's go!" Zeke raised his voice and jogged to the outfield with his glove.
The team followed him diligently, not slacking off in the least. Everyone had realized how important this game was. It could be a turning point for us. If we won, we would be tied for first with Golden West. If we lose, we could drop to third behind them and Servite. Servite and them would play Saturday, and we played Servite on Monday. Things were getting messy. I wish I had paid more attention to Noah when he explained how the league thing works.
Well. As long as we win, it won't be a problem. I won't have to calculate anything.
