Chapter 188 The Secret Behind her Mother’s Sudden Death
The atmosphere in the room grew grave. Mo Huawen was shocked. He smiled after a while and said, “Why do you all want me to remarry? Even you are telling me this. Your mother only passed away less than two years ago…” He raised his wine cup and drained it, his smile growing bitter.
The words rushed out of her mouth, “Father, Mother will understand and she will not blame you. She held my hand then and told me that if there is a good girl, for you to marry her. Just remember not to ill-treat Tong’er.”
She held the corner of the table with a shaky hand. It was as if that was the only way she could push down the pain in her heart.
Her mother’s pale face appeared before her. She had been thrown from heaven to hell that day!
She could not bear how her mother did not even get to see her father for one last time. She could not bear how heartless the man was. He was still fooling around with a concubine while her mother was on the brink of death. He even threw out the servants that Nanny Ming sent over…
Her mother died. She stood in the corridor watching coldly as her father rushed over in a panic. He saw how he stumbled and fell into the door. Her heart filled with hatred as she watched him call out “Luo Xia”. She felt that everything was a joke. Her mother was already dead. Who was he acting for?
“Tong’er, what else did your mother say…?” Mo Huawen said with difficulty. His hands, which were holding the chopsticks tightly, shook. His eyes were deep and dark under the candlelight. Yet, they were filled with strong sadness. He reached out for the wine flagon beside him with shaky hands and poured himself another cup of wine. He drained the cup once more.
Mo Xuetong had felt that he had failed her mother then. As such, she had not told her father what her mother had said at all!
“Mother told me not to blame you and that it has been hard on you. She told me to be an obedient daughter who will take care of you. She even placed a flower that you picked for her the day before by her pillow… she only said that it was as if she had been looking at you.” Mo Xuetong swallowed with difficulty and could not continue saying anything. Tears slid down her cheeks.
She was beyond upset then. She held her mother’s hand and refused to let go, waiting for the moment when those hands turned completely cold. Her world was cold at that moment too. Other than the coldness, was hate…
Across her, Mo Huawen’s eyes shone with tears. He said hoarsely, “Your, your mother. Did she leave behind anything?”
“Father, Mother left behind a letter she wrote on her deathbed. It was for you…” Mo Xuetong shook as she took out a letter. The letter was already very old; however, one could still see the corner that had once been soaked. The color on the corner was different. She could almost see her mother half-lying on the bed and writing the letter with shaking hands.
“You, why didn’t you give it to me…” Mo Huawen tried to hide the pain he felt as he took the letter.
“Father, did you even look at me then? Even if I wanted to say anything, you must first allow me to. Furthermore, I did not wish to tell you then…” Mo Xuetong took a deep breath and smiled slightly. However, the smile on her tear-filled face made one’s heart twinge for her.
The child had misunderstood him. Mo Huawen took the letter in his hands and felt that it was unbearably heavy. He had not taken care of the daughter she had left him. He had almost let her die in Auntie Fang’s hands. His heart hurt and felt empty when he thought of that.
He could not help but say…
“Tong’er, I went to Auntie Fang’s courtyard that day because His Majesty had sent a secret edict. I must not let others discover that, which was why I went to Auntie Fang’s courtyard. It was not because… I only realized that your mother had passed away when I sent the secret envoy away. She was still fine the day before and told me that she was going to take you on a trip. But…” Mo Huawen said. It was an explanation he wanted to give to Mo Xuetong for many years.
He looked at his crying daughter. Her eyes were like Luo Xia’s. He could not stop himself then and felt extremely guilty. He felt that he was a bad father and had failed Luo Xia’s dying wish.
“Father…” Mo Xuetong sniffled and cried out softly. The trouble that she brought with her from her past life was finally released. She felt much more relieved, and the smile on her face grew brighter. Her tears fell into the wine cup before her. She suddenly felt like drinking wine. She stood up abruptly and picked up the wine jug with her slightly less injured hand. She poured a cup for Mo Huawen and then for herself.
“Father, Mother would not want to see you being so sad. It is New Year’s Eve tonight and we shall treat it as if we were spending it with Mother. Father, drink this cup of wine. I was an insensible child in the past and misunderstood you. I hope you will forgive me.” She raised the cup in her hand and knelt down heavily in front of Mo Huawen, raising the cup high up above her head.
In her past life, she had hated her father her entire life because of this. She had ignored her father’s opinions because of her hate. She had slid further and further away from him and died tragically because of Auntie Fang’s and her daughter’s plots.
“Tong’er!” Mo Huawen hurried to help her up. “Our Tong’er, you’ve grown up!”
Mo Huawen wiped his eyes in a dark corner where the candlelight did not reach. He sighed and a smile appeared on his face. He suddenly smiled, took the wine that Mo Xuetong offered him, and drained it all.
No matter what, he still had an obedient daughter. She was his daughter with Luo Xia. That was enough!
“Father, did Mother fall sick suddenly?” She picked up the wine cup beside her. It was sweet. Mo Lan had prepared fruit wine, but it tasted bitter now.
Even her father had felt that her mother had passed away suddenly. That meant that her mother’s illness had not been truly critical. So why did she leave behind her last words in a letter to her father? Did her mother sense that she was going to die? Why? A rush of coldness surged up in her heart. She looked down to hide the coldness in her eyes.
“Your mother has always been poorly. But she was not that ill that time. The physician even said that she was fine a few days prior to her death. He said that she only needed to rest well. But who would have thought that she would take things so hard… cough, cough, cough…” Mo Xuetong did not hear the ends of the sentence clearly. It was as if Mo Huawen had suddenly swallowed those words.
She clutched the opening of her sleeves tightly and her body shook. Mo Xuetong felt as if she had fallen into a deep and dark trap. Her heart and her body were falling downwards, but there was no end…
Did her father mean that her mother wanted to die?
“Father, why?” Mo Xuetong did not try to avoid it anymore. She looked straight at Mo Huawen with her deep dark eyes. He tried to avoid her gaze under the light. Her eyes were sad but determined. She was going to find out everything about her mother’s death, no matter what. What exactly happened to her mother? There were so many things involving her mother that was really weird.
The ruined courtyard in the General Manor, her mother’s sudden death…
“Tong’er, there are some things… you don’t have to know too much about… if we could tell you about it… your mother and I would have told you about it long ago…” Mo Huawen regretted his rashness. He had already said what he did. How could he have told her daughter that? Her daughter would only be happy if she did not know about it. He had promised Luo Xia that back then.
He must not drag Tong’er into that whirlpool, no matter what. What happened in the past was in the past. There was no point in pursuing it any further.
“Father…” Mo Xuetong still wanted to speak.
“Tong’er, it is getting late. Go back first. You should rest more since your health is poor.” Mo Huawen did not wait for Mo Xuetong to say anything else. He stood up and said to the people outside, “Mo Yu, Mo Ye, come and help Miss back.” Then, he ignored Mo Xuetong who stood there with tears falling down her face. He turned around and returned to his room. His footsteps were hurried, he was trying to flee.
“Father, Father…”
Mo Xuetong’s eyes were filled with devastation and tears trickled down her face.
Mo Yu hurried up to hold Mo Xuetong when she saw how sad she was and how she looked as if she was going to fall. She comforted her, “Miss, let’s go back first. Old Sir is going to rest now. Let’s talk again tomorrow if there’s anything you want to say.”
They had been standing outside through it all. Even though they were far away, they could still hear some things vaguely.
Why was her father so afraid of talking about her mother’s death!
Sadness rushed up and the pain that she kept hidden deep in her heart surged. She picked up the wine flagon beside her and poured it into her mouth. Mo Ye and Mo Yu wanted to take it away from her but were afraid of hurting her hands. When they finally took it from her, Mo Xuetong had already drunk half of it. The wine flagon fell onto the ground with a dull thud and rolled into the corner.
Her body went limpid. Mo Ye reacted quickly and caught her.
“Miss, Miss, are you alright?”
“I’m fine. This wine is quite good… I want more.” Mo Xuetong tried to stand. Her mind was hazy but she felt as if her heart was much lighter. It was no wonder so many people liked to drink. So wine had such properties. She reached out and shook Mo Yu’s hand which was holding on to her.
“Miss, you can’t drink anymore. You’re already drunk!” Mo Yu persuaded her.
“I’m drunk? How is that possible…? I’m not drunk. Mo Yu, I want more. Being drunk is great. I am no longer unhappy and am not that sad anymore…” Mo Xuetong smiled brilliantly like a blooming flower. However, tears started sliding down her cheeks again.
“Take Tong’er back and take care of her. Get the kitchens to make her hangover soup.” Mo Huawen sighed from inside the room. He was clutching on to the letter that had been dampened with Luo Xia’s tears. He was determined once more. Luo Xia had mentioned in her letter again and again not to bother with what happened then. Tong’er was just her daughter and no one was to hurt her.
Mo Huawen only walked outside when he saw the two maids half-helping, half-carrying Mo Xuetong back. A servant had already come to pick up the tables. Mo Huawen sat in front of his study table and read the letter Luo Xia had left him over and over again. Mo Huawen’s eyes welled up with tears. He thought of the first time he saw the beautiful girl and how he had lost his heart to her then.
When he first heard how the General Manor had agreed to marry their eldest legal daughter to him. He was overjoyed and excited then. He was just a measly officer then and was not good enough to be her husband. He thought that he would have no other desires if he had her in his life. However, he had not thought that they would be separated by the veil of death now.
Luo Xia had not managed to escape fate. Tong’er must not be embroiled into this and must not become someone else’s chess piece. This was all that Luo Xia asked of him. She was their only daughter and Luo Xia only hoped she would be safe and happy. Everything else did not matter.
He kept the letter and hid it in a secret corner of his desk. There was a portrait there as well. He undid the portrait, revealing a girl who was smiling warmly. She seemed as if she were going to walk out of the portrait.
Mo Huawen caressed the girl’s face with his finger. He was deep in thought and a smile appeared at the corners of his eyes without him noticing…
“Cousin, Cousin. It’s New Year’s Eve. I made a few dishes. Shall we eat together?” A slender figure stood outside in the light. Her smile was as beautiful as a blooming flower and her dress was patterned with red flowers. Just like the day they first met, he felt as if she had stepped out from a portrait. He could not help but look up and at her.
