Translator: miraclerifle
My name is the Akashic Records (Grand Archives of Space).
Of the eight Majesty’s Treasures, I have the most important role because I am in charge of the library.
I record the history of space and give abilities to artifacts when they are born.
It allows me to see the Majesty, our great king and noble records keeper, every single day.
That has been the same since thousands of years ago.
I always remain calm and do my job.
However, even the king has to be fair in order to keep the order of space.
However, there is one king that remains vivid in my mind, despite the numerous Majesties I have served.
That king was the former Majesty.
Just seeing his smile had made me happy. Just hearing him call my name made me feel as if I knew the reason I was born.
That was why it had been so painful when the former Majesty had been killed by his trusted vassals. I regretted that I could not be the strength my king needed to survive.
He used the last of his powers before he was stabbed into the throne and killed to make sure that harm would not befall his personal artifacts, the Treasures.
When I was able to meet that king again when I thought that I would never get to see him ever again…
I had made up my mind while tears rushed down my eyes.
I would never lose this king ever again.
I was thankful that I could meet him again and promised to sincerely support him.
I would follow my liege as his scribe regardless of any order he gave.
However…
“Like I said, change it like this.”
[No, my king. As I have mentioned many times before, that is not possible. I cannot change it.]
“What the hell? Why not?”
[My king… There is a limit to what this scribe can do.]
“What? Change it if I tell you to change it.”
[……My king, may this vassal say something that might sound a bit rude?]
“Sure.”
[You cannot change the gender of all artifacts because of your little princess!]
The current king was quite the headache.
Actually, no, the current king is going to make me go crazy!
The Akashic records was glaring at Ju-Heon.
There were things it could do and things it could not do, even at the order of the king.
But this king was giving an extremely headache-inducing order as soon as his youngest child, his first daughter, was born.
Do you know the story of Baldur and the mayfly?
It is a story of how a goddess got all of the gods to promise something in order to insure the safety of her child.
But this king was asking for even more than that.
[There are things even the king cannot do. You wish to change the gender of all artifacts? That is the same as wishing to change the origin and history of the artifacts.]
“Whatever. Change all of the male ones to female. Do you think I would let a damn male artifact around my daughter?”
This damn king was trying to forcibly conduct gender changing surgery.
The Akashic records, which looked like a pretty girl, twitched its eyebrows.
[My king…… to use the library for such a personal issue is…]
“What the hell? The great and mighty Majesty’s Treasure can’t even do that?”
[……!]
“I thought you said that you would do anything for me.”
The Akashic records was crying internally.
‘I did make such a deal, but…!’
The Akashic records could not reject Ju-Heon because of his words.
Ju-Heon was its liege and he was extremely radiant.
He used fear to rule over the artifacts unlike the former Majesty who mainly used Affinity, but this king who released such intense charisma was so cool that he gave it the chills.
‘Ah, my king…’
Of course, it would be happier if that damn rope that doesn’t even have eyes or a mouth that stuck next to the king while it was not here, the devil that speaks a lot of nonsense about the Majesty belongs to it, and the Crow, that it has not liked even during the reign of the former Majesty, were not here.
It had still remained by the king’s side believing that it was the most important artifact…!
[Umm, my king. I must mention again…]
“Whatever. Just do it. You changed back what I told you to change last time too. Do you want me to beat you up?!”
‘He’s going to beat up his personal scribe now?!’
The Akashic records started crying with sorrow.
‘Everything I do is for the king!’
[My king… You were doing something that pushed your limits and ended up with a risk that was difficult to handle. I had no choice in order to protect you…]
“Whatever. Change these bastards to females for now then.”
The Egyptian doggie artifacts that were dangling on Ju-Heon’s fingertips were shaking in fear.
[My king, that is a bit,,,!]
“Ah, whatever. If you can’t do it, I will personally do it myself later.”
[?!]
‘What will he personally do?!’
The doggies looked at the Akashic records with desperation.
[D, don’t lose!]
[If you lose, this world will be destroyed!]
[We cannot end up like Zeus no matter what!]
It seemed as if Ju-Heon would be the one who would destroy the world.
But Ju-Heon just snorted while looking at the shaking doggies.
“Well, we can drop this for now. That’s not the important thing right now.”
‘!’
The Akashic records’ face lit up after seeing Ju-Heon turn serious.
It wasn’t often that Ju-Heon looked serious like this.
‘Ah, my great king, finally we are getting to the real problem…!’
Actually, Ju-Heon had been dealing with quite a big issue lately.
‘Mysterious gates.’
Monstrous artifacts were popping out of these suspicious holes that were abducting people.
Artifacts that Ju-Heon had never recorded in the Akashic records and even artifacts he had destroyed before were popping up.
They would gobble up humans and then take their skin as disguises.
“Then let’s drop the small talk and get down to business.”
[Yes sir! The suspicious gates that have appeared recently…]
“What do you think I should get my daughter as a present for her first birthday?”
‘That’s what it was?!’
“Hmm, a ring seems too common for a first birthday, an artifact seems too dangerous, I don’t think any clothes out there would be good enough for my daughter……”
[Umm, my king…]
“Hmm, I don’t know. Come up with a good idea by tomorrow.”
The Akashic records frequently became skeptical about its current job.
“We have a problem.”
Ju-Heon was looking extremely stylish like a model today as he sat on his throne (Hlidskjalf).
The Akashic records sighed after hearing Ju-Heon’s comment about the doll that the throne was showing up.
[What is the problem this time, your Majesty? Are you debating over what to give as gifts to the guests coming to the birthday party?]
Ju-Heon looked at the Akashic records with a baffled expression on his face.
“Why would I be worried about that? That’s for Kongming to deal with.”
[!]
“Plus, I should be the one receiving gifts for throwing the birthday party.”
The Akashic records wondered for a moment if it had misunderstood human culture.
[Excuse me? You should be the one receiving gifts, my king?]
Ju-Heon’s eyes shamelessly flashed.
“Don’t you think so? They should be thanking me for showing them my daughter.”
[…….]
“And.”
Ju-Heon, who was joking in a serious tone, sighed.
“Learn to separate the personal and the professional. Do you think I would really be discussing something like this with you during such an important time? You are one of the Majesty’s Treasures, one of the artifacts hand-selected by the king.”
[!]
“Let’s get down to the real issue then.”
The Akashic records looked as if it wanted to shed tears of admiration at Ju-Heon’s sharp gaze.
[Ahhh, my king, finally…]
“What do you think would be good as my daughter’s first Valentine’s Day chocolate?”
The Akashic records almost fainted.
It had so many things it wanted to say, but what could it do?
[……Umm, my king. The little princess is still just a baby!]
“So what? The dad should be the first to do everything with his daughter. Her dad should be the first to give her chocolate as well.”
[How very wise of you, my king!]
[Very true, my king!]
The Akashic records got a headache as other artifacts chimed in to agree with Ju-Heon.
It felt as if something was going very wrong.
Of course, it was understandable why Ju-Heon was acting like this.
It was because of his sons.
Ju-Heon’s sister had said the following at some point after his daughter was born.
‘Aren’t my nephews too scared of you? Your daughter might be scared of you at this rate as well.’
Ju-Heon had just snorted at her.
‘My second son is scared of a lot of things. My first born isn’t scared of me.’
‘I think he is scared of you too.’
‘Not at all.’
The confident Ju-Heon called his eldest son over and asked.
‘Hey, Ah-In. Are you scared of me?’
Ju-Heon didn’t think it would be the case at all. He had always had a good relationship with Ah-In.
He expected Ah-In to respond as cool as a cucumber as usual, but…
‘Hey, Ah-In?’
‘………………….’
Even the usually confident eldest son took some buffering time at that question.
It took about 30 seconds before he responded.
Although Ju-Heon didn’t show it, he seemed to have received quite a big shock in his heart.
Of course, the people around him just clicked their tongues at him.
‘So who told him to throw infants at vicious apocalypse artifacts, off cliffs, into Chaos, or the desert in the name of education?’
‘What about it? What’s wrong with it?’
‘What do you mean, ‘what’s wrong with it?!’ The way you taught your children was wrong!’ [1]
‘How I taught them…’
Ju-Heon’s eyes flashed for a different reason.
Returning back to the present…
Ju-Heon was currently preparing his early education curriculum for his daughter.
“Okay, go buy all cacao farms in the world. The chocolate my daughter makes needs to be the best in the world.”
The Akashic records could only cry.
[This stupid Majesty bastard.]
On the other hand, chaotic bastards were once again attempting to infiltrate this world in the numerous holes that had appeared in the world.
They were all heinous artifacts trying to eat humans.
They could just openly grab and eat humans as they were ordered to do and had the instincts to do so, but they couldn’t make it too noticeable.
It was because of Seo Ju-Heon.
[We will kill Seo Ju-Heon as our liege ordered and free the artifacts of this world.]
Ju-Heon’s existence was threatening.
He was an extremely scary human.
The artifacts under his command would shoot up from the ground when he stomps his foot and become his limbs.
The goblin’s fog would appear and swirl around him when he waves his arm.
The fog would then spread out and choke them out while the rope of condemnation would appear from the sky.
If they got distracted by the rope, even for a moment, they would be able to hear the screams of their comrades inside the black fog.
The recorder of history.
The path of the damn Majesty’s path was full of the corpses of artifacts, giving birth to new history.
The artifacts this bastard recorded would be reborn in Chaos.
Artifacts that would normally only be born from human memories would be born in a different way.
But they had now gathered new information.
[This stupid Majesty bastard. Apparently he is so focused on his daughter that he hasn’t even tried to find us anymore.]
[As expected of a human.]
[But we might still get caught by that bastard if we run wild.]
[Yes. We should aim for an opening.]
Seo Ju-Heon had destroyed their fellow artifacts many times.
They chose to be thorough and come up with a plan.
[According to my liege, Seo Ju-Heon is too focused on something called Valentine’s Day and is not paying any attention to us.]
[My liege told us to use that to our advantage to give as many humans as possible the cruelest of deaths]
They created a bioterrorism weapon for their plan.
They were going to use a murderous parasitic artifact inside chocolate.
The humans who eat chocolates would be controlled by the parasite inside them until the bug bursts out from their brain.
[Even the Majesty should not be able to guard against this one.]
[This is something the Majesty should have no idea about.]
[He will not be able to destroy or defend against this.]
Their liege seemed to know everything about Ju-Heon.
And these bastards, who were excited at the thought of killing Ju-Heon and eating humans, were smiling.
[Oh humans. Laugh all you want at this stupid holiday of yours. Those chocolates you get will be your last meals.]
However…
[Umm, excuse me sir. We have a problem.]
[What is it?]
[There are no chocolates to implant the bugs.]
[What?]
[Apparently the Majesty bought them all…]
They all became quiet.
But they weren’t that anxious.
[Ho, you stupid bastard. That human snack can be found anywhere. Go buy some from a different country if there are none here!]
The artifacts were sweating bullets.
[That is not possible. The Majesty has purchased all of the chocolates in the world…]
[What?!]
[Then loot an ingredient factory or something! We can…!]
[That…Seo Ju-Heon has looted all cacao farms as well…]
[?!]
While that was going on…
“What the hell is this?”
Julian and Dan’s eyebrows were twitching while looking at the dark brown chunks in front of them.
Valhalla was extremely large to the point that you couldn’t even imagine where it ended, but these chunks of stuff that seemed to be filling up all of Valhalla…
“What the hell did that son of a bitch do this time?!”
“Vice Captain-nim!”
Julian was swearing while swimming through the chocolate.
The culprit was probably in the kitchen.
“Hey! Seo Ju-Heon! What the hell did you do now?! What the hell is all of this?!”
They heard a calm voice from the kitchen.
“My daughter is planning on making chocolate. So I got her some ingredients. Why?”
Inside the kitchen was Ah-Rin, who seemed to be having fun while melting chocolate, and Ju-Heon, who was holding Ah-Rin and helping her.
Dan sighed after taking a look.
“It was the Majesty. He was the one who bought all of the chocolate out there.”
The Majesty’s personal storage artifact that allowed him to fill it without any restriction was in the middle of the kitchen as well.
It was an item Julian had created for Ju-Heon not too long ago. It was no wonder his Chief of staff was angry.
“I didn’t get that for you so that you can put chocolate in there!”
That wasn’t important right now.
“What kind of bastard buys up all of the chocolate in the world just before Valentine’s Day?! Do you have no heart?!”
“Why? I don’t know how much chocolate my little Ah-Rin is going to make. I just bought enough so that I don’t accidentally run out.”
“Does this look like just ‘enough’?!”
Julian’s eyes were full of murderous intent.
The next day…
Jaeha, who was heading for the Valhalla cafeteria for lunch, questioned his eyes.
It was because the food on the plate was…
“Umm, Dan? What is this?”
“Chocolate bibimbap.”
“………Did you suddenly get a new hobby of making weird food?”
“No. The only ingredients we have lying around is chocolate.”
“……Then what about dinner?”
“Chocolate stew.”
“T, then tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow is chocolate seasoned veggies, the day after is chocolate kimchi and chocolate steamed chicken. After that is pickled chocolate…”
“Aaah! Seo Ju-Heon, you fucking crazy bastard!”
Jaeha had to be tormented today as well.
1. Ju-Heon just took a page from the Gohan training guide.
