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Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms Chapter 360

360 The Village Road is Slippery

The village road is slippery

Hong Haier: God Chen! Why are you not replying? (Puzzled)

Chen Xiaobei: I don’t think I can help you in this… I’m a nice and pure teenager after all…

Hong Haier: Pure? Damn it, God Chen! You and your dirty mind! What the hell are you thinking about? I did not ask you to help my mom to solve her sexual needs by offering yourself! I want you to think of something to help her!

Chen Xiaobei: I’m dirty minded? You weren’t clear on what you want, and you did ask me to solve your mom’s sexual needs! Any normal person was bound to think of it the wrong way!

Hong Haier: (Sticking out tongue) Don’t mind the little things! You’re living on earth – the lost land. I’m pretty sure you guys have a whole bunch of creative methods to solve carnal desire! I want the best you can offer!

The best? That is asking too much of me!

Chen Xiaobei rolled his eyes. His mind was now in tatters thanks to Hong Haier.

Well, guys normally use their right hands to settle their carnal needs. As for girls…

Chen Xiaobei: I got it! You could ask your mom to try bananas, cucumbers or even bitter gourds!

Hong Haier: No way… Your methods are so old fashioned!

Chen Xiaobei: Cough… Old fashioned? Does that mean your mom tried those stuff?

Hong Haier: Yes! Now, she’s using lotus stalks! There are holes and pores in those stalks so air can go in and out. Also, the water could flow out of the lotus. (Digging nose)

Lo… Lot… Lotus…

“Baaarf… What the hell! I learned something new today!” Chen Xiaobei’s mind was blown. The ladies of earth were old fashioned compared to Princess Iron Fan!

He also suddenly felt the need to open himself up to all sorts of new wonders. How was it possible that a child possessed such filth in his mind? The Bull Demon King must be the bad influence.

Hong Haier: God Chen! Why’d you stop replying again? (Sticking out tongue) Monsters like us are straightforward, so we say whatever comes to mind! We’re a little uncivilized to humans! I hope you don’t mind!

Chen Xiaobei: It’s always claimed that people living in cities are more dirty-minded compared to village people, but I just found out today that village roads can be slippery as well… People are really complicated! I’m definitely an innocent child compared to you!

Hong Haier: Stop talking about trivial stuff! (Sticking out tongue) Can you help me or not?

Chen Xiaobei: I have a way! I need some time to think …

“Damn it… I really need a Soul Orb… How can I help Princess Iron Fan? Hmm… I think I have to use something that only exist on earth… Oh right!” Chen Xiaobei thought for a while. Then, he ran out from his jewelry shop and texted Hong Haier at the same time.

Chen Xiaobei: Do you know what a love egg is?

Hong Haier: No idea…

Chen Xiaobei: Do you know what is a vibrator?

Hong Haier: No idea…

Chen Xiaobei: Great! Just wait! I can get you what you want really soon! (Excited)

Hong Haier: Is that true? (Looking forward)

……..

Chen Xiaobei pocketed his cellphone and ran to an adult toy store to buy those items. Then, he found a hidden corner and sent them to Hong Haier!

Hong Haier: How do I use it?

Chen Xiaobei: Look for a small black button. That is the switch – she just has to turn it on and enjoy! But please send me the Soul Orb first! I need it to save someone!

Hong Haier: Okay! I believe God Chen will not disappoint! Get ready to receive it!

Chen Xiaobei: Alright! I’m off! Talk to you later!

Ding!

[Congratulations! You have snatched a Red Envelope! You have received a Soul Orb! It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

Ding!

[Soul Orb; it contains a small amount of pure Spiritual Qi. It allows the user to transfer the Spiritual Qi to a normal item. Do you wish to take it?]

Chen Xiaobei grabbed it without hesitation, and a glassy red orb appeared in Chen’s palm. Spiritual Qi of Yang Fire wafted from it.

“Let me give it a try…”

Without wasting any time, he held the copy of the Flaming Cloud Spiritual Pendant with the Soul Orb together in his palm. He could feel the Spiritual Qi flowing above his palm, and the energies within the Soul Orb vanished after every last iota of Spiritual Qi was transferred into the pendant.

Opening his palm, Chen Xiaobei saw that the Flaming Cloud Spiritual Pendant looked exactly like the original, and Qi flows within it too!

“Success! The appearance is perfect! The Qi isn’t much, but it would probably last for one to two years in the least. I should just fool them with this replica first – the future shouldn’t be my concern for now!”

Chen Xiaobei calmed himself before he drove to Shangri-La Hotel and took the elevator to the top floor.

There, he saw at least one hundred bodyguards in black outfits as soon as he stepped out!

“Chen Xiaobei!”

A man in his twenties walked towards him. Shangri-La was a property of the Yap Family; they must have monitored his every movement once he set foot in the building

Still, something bothered him. “How did you know my full name?” He asked.

“Hehe… The Yap Family is more powerful than you’d expect! Ordinary plebeians like you could never imagine what we can do!” The young man said confidently. “We ran your number when you called us; we know everything about you now!”

“Are you sure you know everything about me?” Chen Xiaobei smiled calmly. He feared nothing; he knew himself better than anyone else.

The other man laughed. “We know you’re a local big shot, and people call you Bro Bei! You even made Yap Liangchen suffer before! Although he is an outcast now, you should know who’s behind him! Slapping a dog like him is equivalent to slapping the entire Yap Family!”

A dog?

Chen Xiaobei was stunned. He never expected that the Flaming Cloud Spiritual Pendant to bring such serious consequences to Yap Liangchen – the man went from being the heir of Yap Family to a useless dog! Nevertheless, that was good news for Chen Xiaobei; since the Yaps had abandoned him, he could now be used properly.

“Could you cut the crap?! I’m here to deliver the Flaming Cloud Spiritual Pendant. I don’t want to waste my time on listening to you!” Chen Xiaobei tried to hurry him along impatiently.

“How dare you! Who’d you think you are? I’ll not allow you to speak to me – Yap Xianghu that way! You will leave the pendant with us and walk out with serious injuries or death! This is what you get for an affront against the Yap Family!”

“What do you mean? So, you guys hired hundreds of bodyguards to fight me?”

“Hehe… Congratulations! You got that right!” Yap Xianghu laughed menacingly. “There are at least a hundred people in here, and all of them are mercenaries, special forces and underground wrestlers! I think you’ll be so scared you’ll pee your pants real soon! Kneel down in front of me and knock your head on the ground ten times, now!”

“Scared? I don’t think a hundred ants can fight a human! They will all die today!” Chen Xiaobei sneered with an icy face.

Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

Sānjiè hóngbāo qún, 三界红包群
Status: Ongoing Author: ,

In a world of shallow-minded, materialistic mortals, what would one from humble beginnings – whose face had been stomped on, spat on, oppressed for the longest while by the arrogant, pampered upper echelons of society – do, when a mysterious application pops up on a brand new phone that was meant to be the birthday gift of an ungrateful girlfriend? What if the application takes the form of a chatroom where its occupants, bearing the names of mythical, fictional beings, start giving out ‘Red Packets’, all the while spouting nonsense?

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