Ye Cang sat upright from the rocking chair and started thinking with his fingers crossed. “Let me consolidate everyone’s opinions. I’ve decided to perform a short drama. Lele, Lil’Dino, and A’Xiong, you’ll be responsible for setting the plot. I’ll do the choreography. We’ll leave the clothing design to Panty Uncle. Little Tian and Lil’Zhao, both of you will take care of the general affairs. Nana and Flasher Uncle will be in charge of the sound system and its effects. Yiyi will join them too. Alright. That’s it for now. I’ll notify Panty Uncle, Flasher Uncle, and Yiyi after this. I’m expecting the script to be done by this afternoon so we can arrange the characters.”
Hey, hey, hey. You want the script in only a few hours? Do you think this is a primary school essay competition?! FrozenCloud was speechless. Just when she was about to say something, Lin Le shouted. “No worries, Brother Lil’White! We’ll be done before the sun goes above our heads!”
“……” Zhang Zhengxiong and FrozenCloud turned around to wow Lin Le’s confidence.
Ye Cang then gladly touched Lin Le’s head. “Just look at how reliable Lele is.”
Moments later, Lin Le dashed back to his room, wore his painter’s hat and marched out with colorful crayons and a sketching board in his hands.
“The plot will be like this. Firstly, we’ll have the three heroes battling Lu Bu, dismantling his corpse, raping Diao Chan and then killing Dong Zhuo.”
“Hey, the battle of the three heroes and Lu Bu isn’t…” Not waiting for FrozenCloud to finish her sentence, Zhang Zhengxiong interrupted. “Not a bad idea. Then, we can go back and kill Yuan Shao and Cao Cao. Not only that, we can also kill all the 18 members of the coalition from the first to the last and back! We’ll kill whoever that goes against us, including the gods! Then, we can go honeymoon with Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao, beat Cai Wenji, make Sun Shangxiang angry, and gang-rape all the empresses… Muahahahah…. ”
Stares and weird looks from all the women in the house made the crazy man shut his mouth automatically. Ye Cang then gave him a smack on his head from the back. “Pervert! From the part of Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao onwards, *sigh* I’ll do the act…”
Wu Na immediately elbowed Ye Cang. “What a brother you are! Do you really think such a plot is suitable for Chinese New Year?!”
“I’m just kidding.” Ye Cang sighed. “We’ll cancel from the part of Da Xiao and Xiao Qiao . But, the part of raping Diao Chan is perfectly fine.”
“……”
“F*ck off!” Wu Na was pissed. “Diao Chan is a heroin alright! She alienated Dong Zhuo and Lu Bu for the sake of the world. Damn it. Give her some respect, would you?”
“Then what about gang-rape?” Lin Le questioned.
“Son of a b*tch! Can you guys not talk about raping during Chinese New Year?! Forget about these nonsense! It’s a prosperous festive season! And, there is a kid here!” Wu Na blurted and looked at Fang Tong.
“The blessing of the Elephant?” Fang Tong said.
“You…” Wu Na was suffocating, forgetting that she was a die-hard fan of Flasher Uncle. “Come up with something else. This plot is not good.”
“Stupid Wu Na, you’re bullying me…” Lin Le despised Wu Na but she did not bat an eyelid. He then started to rant. “I want to rape Diao Chan! I want to rape Diao Chan!”
“Oh no, look at what you’ve done. Lele is about to cry. Poor thing… just let him rape Diao Chan…” Ye Cang pulled Lin Le over.
“That’s right, Nana. It doesn’t hurt letting him rape Diao Chan.” Zhang Zhengxiong advised. FrozenCloud, SpyingBlade, and Fang Ci stared at him with a dirty look, especially SpyingBlade. Well, have we thought of Diao Chan’s feelings? And who’s going to play Diao Chan? Song Xin?
Wu Na sighed deeply. “Alright, let Sister Song Xin be Diao Chan. *sigh* But the plot has to be discussed properly! Everyone has to participate!”
Hey, hey, hey. This isn’t supposed to be how you educate children, okay?! The three of them (FrozenCloud, SpyingBlade, and Fang Ci) thought. Suddenly, upon recalling Lin Le’s real age and his level of education, they lowered their heads guiltily.
Everyone then started giving suggestions and opinions for the plot.
“What’s the fuss? What’s everyone talking about?” Flasher Uncle came from the front gate and Panty Uncle followed behind. He smiled. “Lil’White, show us your songs and dance moves.”
With much respect, Fang Tong stared at Flasher Uncle. Flasher Uncle lowered his head to look at Fang Tong in return and smiled. “Have you fully recovered? Come, I’ll let you touch the elephant!”
At a side, Fang Ci was lost of words and actions. From a normal brother’s perspective, he should have chopped off that lingering thing and that displeasing man. Yet, he could not! It was strange but it was useful! This man is Lin Hai’s legendary figure who is given the title of Holy Bird Hero, the Ultimate Founder of Elephant Religion, A Walking Wonder of the World, Top 10 Wonders of Mankind, the Famous Giant Elephant King (artist), the God of Bass, the Ultimate Nemesis for All Illness, and many others. Rumors once said that someone was willing to pay tens of millions of federal coins for the blessing of his elephant (which basically means sleeping with him for a night).
Fang Tong stepped forward and touched it with sincerity. Suddenly, a warm flow of energy covered her and she smiled at the contentment of her heart. As she blushed, she felt as if all of the toxins were excreted out from her body. Strong gratitude made her reluctant to let go of it but she did eventually. “Thank you, Flasher Uncle!”
SpyingBlade, FrozenCloud, Wu Na, and even Zuo Yiyi pondered. I bet he’s the only man in this world who’s able to do such a perversive act in public and not being charged for any offense. Besides, those who’ve touched it even thanked him for his kindness. What on earth is this? He has millions of fans, believers are everywhere, and he was entitled as the warm energy master in the entertainment industry. Ewww…..
After knowing that Ye Cang and the others were discussing the plot, they joined in.
“I think that including the plot of raping Diao Chan is a little too forceful. Why don’t we put it as an after-credit? We set it as Lele’s motivating target.” Flasher Uncle suggested.
On that matter, raping Diao Chan isn’t really some motivating target? Are you sure? FrozenCloud looked at Flasher Uncle speechlessly. Yet, she agreed that it was forceful to include the plot there.
“The main characters of the story will be Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei. Lele will act as Zhang Fei and the raping of Diao Chan will be a side story. It will go on the line of a young Zhang Fei seeing Diao Chan at a glance and decided that it’s his aim in life to rape her. He then trained hard and kill pigs for a living. It will be a story of him working hard and mastering all the martial art skills just to fulfill a childhood dream of his. Not forgetting your passion in life will be the moral value of the story.” Panty Uncle came out with a draft side story.
“According to Panty Uncle’s plot, Lele’s side story seems a little weird…” Wu Na reminded them while personally accepting the fact that it was touching at the same time. Hmm…Panty Uncle is so handsome.
“Actually, I think my side story can be introduced in this way…” However, Wu Na and FrozenCloud instantly rejected Zhang Zhnegxiong’s suggestion, “You are just an escaping criminal!”
“I’m acting as the second brother! Elder Guan! Since I’m not killing Diao Chan, you must at least give some credits to Elder Guan! Or else, you’ll be disrespecting him! It’s not a good omen for Chinese New Year!” Zhang Zhengxiong answered.
“True enough. Then, you’ll be the Red Hare. I’ll let Old Zhao act as Guan Yu and Fang Ci will act as Lu Bu.” Wu Na’s plan lost Zhang Zhengxiong’s last hope. “An escaping criminal it is… *sigh*”
~editted by DW~
