“Don’t you have any internal alchemy pills? The kind that can take me straight to heaven?”
“Yes. You want some?”
“Yes, if you’re willing to give me some.”
“Then take it.”
Old Turtle opened his mouth and a stone ball the size of a basketball fell before Chen Zhao.
“This is my internal alchemy. Eat it and you can go to heaven.”
Chen Zhao reached out and patted it. It was harder than stone. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No, I’m serious. That’s my internal alchemy.”
“You just took it out to make a sport of me because you know I can’t chew it, right?”
“I have so much of this. There’s no point in making a sport out of you.”
“You have a lot?”
“Duh. I’ve been in the human world for thousands of thousands of years. I just cultivate when I’m bored. What’s so strange about cultivating such a large internal alchemy over thousands of years?”
Chen Zhao opened the Mouth of Gluttony and tried biting the internal alchemy.
Then, pain came from the mouth.
F*ck, broke my teeth.
Okay, Chen Zhao didn’t have the luck to enjoy this thing.
“Do you have any collections and stuff? Give me an adventure.”
“Yeah,” Old Turtle said.
“Really?”
“Here.” Old Turtle opened its mouth. A pile of scrap metal tumbled out.
Chen Zhao looked through all the metal.
There was a bronze sword, an iron sword, a knight sword, a samurai sword… Anyway, there were a bunch of things.
But most of them were covered with rust. There was one well-preserved bronze sword though. The pattern was pretty too.
“The image on the blade, the detailed pattern… Is this the Xuanyuan Sword?”
“You’re overthinking. This was from years ago when the painting hung in some king’s palace. I stole it from the king’s room.”
“But it’s the most well-preserved, so it should be the best, right?”
“I just kept it because I think it’s pretty.”
“F*ck, I want divine weapons. Why did you get me all this sh*t?”
“They could survive my saliva. That means they’re not bad quality. Even if they’re not divine weapons, they’re still treasures. You can use them to chop people up.”
“What era is this? Using this to chop people up… You want me to die faster? Even a submachine gun is more realistic.”
Chen Zhao was completely disappointed. This old turtle wasn’t reliable or sane.
Chen Zhao held a samurai sword with his left hand and the bronze sword in the right.
Huff, huff, ha, ha—
He lost interest after a few chops.
Then he lay on the ground and rolled around. He couldn’t go out.
How do I get out…
I’m not going to be stuck in here with an old turtle for a few thousand years, right?
“Are there any monsters other than you in here? Get some out for me to chop up. I’m so bored.”
“There were before.”
“And now?”
“One day, I wanted to move my body. I accidentally squashed it.”
“That’s a sad story.”
Chen Zhao suddenly thought of something. “How do you look outside? How come I can’t see it?”
“Close your eyes and look with your soul.”
Use my soul?
Chen Zhao closed his eyes. Suddenly, an image appeared in his mind. It was the view of his living room from the wall.
His heart jumped and he suddenly felt a pull.
When he opened his eyes again, he saw that he was already back in the living room.
“Hey, I’m out! Haha… I’m out.”
Just then, Fali woke up from the sound.
She walked out of her bedroom and saw Chen Zhao dancing around with a bronze sword in the living room.
“Chen, what are you doing?”
“Huh? Fali, did I wake you up?”
“What happened? Why are you so happy?”
“No, nothing.”
Chen Zhao shook his head with a laugh.
“Where did you get that sword from?”
“From the trash.” Chen Zhao put it inside his spatial ring and looked back at the River Map.
Was this the famous River Map?
By now, the content had returned to the painting of clouds and mountains.
But it felt so nice to be able to come out.
At least, he wouldn’t be stuck in it for eternity like Old Turtle.
He could still sleep with Fali in his arms.
Next day
After Fali left, Chen Zhao went into the River Map again.
It was very easy to enter. There was no difficulty at all.
“Old Turtle, do you want me to bring some things for you?” Chen Zhao asked.
Old Turtle had been stuck here for thousands—no, millions of years. It was more than enough.
“Game console,” Old Tortoise said without hesitation.
“Game console? Are you sure you can play it? You’re huge.”
But then Old Turtle shook. The misty mountains vanished.
The tortoise turned into human form.
He was a white-haired elder with whiskers that hung to his feet.
“I’ve cultivated for millennia. If I can’t even transform, then I would’ve wasted all those years.”
“But there’s no electricity.”
“Can’t you get an energy generator?”
“…”
“Get a kinetic energy generator,” Old Turtle said. “Don’t get the gas-powered ones.”
“You know about that stuff too?”
“Shut up. I’ve lived for millions of years.”
Okay, Chen Zhao would change the topic.
This Old Turtle probably knew more than him.
Talking about these things in front of him was looking for embarrassment.
“Also, get me a home theater set.”
“Get me all of the movies you can find.”
“And wine… The more the better.”
Old Turtle wasn’t acting like a stranger at all.”
After finishing his requests, he added, “Don’t say that I don’t care for you. Take my internal alchemy out. You can’t eat it, but it’s still filled with Spiritual Qi. It can fill your surroundings with Spiritual Qi.”
Chen Zhao looked at the huge pill. He could bring it out easily by putting it in his spatial ring.
But where would he put it?
He could throw it in the lake. Alright, he’d throw it in Mirror Lake.
After going out, Chen Zhao planned on getting Old Turtle his entertainment equipment.
Before he could leave, a woman approached his house.
She was a tall woman in tight-fitting clothes and wavy hair.
Because she was a stranger, the home system wouldn’t open the door. The woman could only get down before the window and look inside the living room.
However, the living room window was made out of galvanized glass. It blocked all outside light.
This meant that people looking in from the outside would be like looking at a mirror. They wouldn’t be able to see anything other than themselves.
Chen Zhao had the system open the door. He looked at this oddly-dressed beauty.
“Miss, are you lost?”
“Are you Chen Zhao? That Chinese guy?”
“Pretty obvious, right?”
“Murphy’s in danger. I hope you can help me save him.”
“Did Carlo send you? Does he want to trick me over there like this?”
