I soon arrived on the second floor. I could hear Hyunmin’s voice ring in my ears.
“Mister Sian!!”
“Why does she keep calling me that?”
Anyways, I was now on my way to the second-floor bathroom. I could hear someone crying in there as well. Do these ghosts have nothing better to do than scare people?
“A women’s bathroom again?”
Was it really a woman this time? I feel like it’s a man again. Anyways, I walked into the bathroom and I then opened the door of the first stall. There was someone in there.
“Aaah~ Aaah~ Wahaaa~ Waah~~”
The ghost kept letting out crying sounds, oblivious to my presence. As he continued to wail, he was playing a game on his smartphone. His username read Tetx. I stared at him for a bit before I spoke up.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“What does it look like? I’m wailing. Waaah~ Waahaaa…Huh?”
He paused, finally noticing me. He looked at me all confused. Then, his expression changed to that of shock.
“What the-”
“So…why are you crying?”
“Y-you…who are you?!”
“I’m a mortal, you ass.”
“Oh!” He gasped again. He pressed himself against the wall. Was he scared of mortals or something?
“So why is a guy like you sobbing like a woman?”
“W-well…”
He hesitated.
“Hello? I asked you a question!” I raised my hand as the guy cowered away from it.
“P-please!”
“I won’t hurt you if you promise to stay quiet. Quit scaring people.”
“O-okay!”
“And tell your friends too. If you don’t shut up, I’ll come after all of you. Got it?”
“G-got it!” he soon answered. Then, he floated out of the bathroom. Soon enough, the wailing noises stopped.
“There. Was that so hard?”
And with that, I walked to the third floor. If I could just shut the goblin up, then this won’t be a haunted house anymore.
“What’s this?”
As I walked up the stairs, I saw a person passed out, his eyes still open.
“Who is this?”
I could hear his heartbeat, so he wasn’t dead.
“There’s a wound.”
A wound smack in the middle of his forehead. So that meant…
“Oh, you’re the one I got with the arrow.”
Yeah. The one wiggling his tongue at me outside the window earlier. Well, it’s his fault. I didn’t tell him to do that.
“Idiot.”
I walked over him, stepping on his stomach as I did.
“Aah~!”
“Ugh. Pathetic.”
Soon, I was on the third floor. For the first time since I arrived, I actually felt nervous. I gulped. This was the first time I’ve gotten nervous without a naked woman standing in front of me.
“Whoa…”
There were a lot of goblins up here. They all stared at me…and then they all started to run towards me.
***
Pow! Pow! Wham!
The goblins began to attack me all at once. At first, I was able to hold them off with an invisible force field, but they continued attacking. Soon, my shield began to show cracks. After one mighty hit, my shield shattered entirely as I flew out a window.
“Haaa…”
I was in the air outside the third level window. I began to fall towards the ground.
“Aaah!”
Crash!
I fell flat on the ground.
“Ugh…”
I got up and dusted myself off. It’s been a while since I’ve been beaten like this. My chest was still the same size, though. It really was huge. Anyways, I picked up a steel pipe that was lying on the ground and looked up. The goblins were looking out through the window, staring at me.
“Assholes.”
I held up the steel pipe, drawing up my powers.
“I’ll get all of you.”
“Heeheehee.” The goblins all snickered in response. They all jumped down at once and ran towards me. I then wielded my weapon.
Pow! Wham! Pow! Pow! Pow!
***
1 against 88.
In other words, me against 88 goblins. This was way bigger than the time General Yi Sun-shin defeated the enemy Japanese troops of 300 warships with only 13 of his own at the Battle of Myeongyang. Did I win or lose? Well, let’s see.
“Come on!”
With a cry, I swung the goblin club at the head of a goblin.
Wham.
It hit the goblin and he instantly passed out.
“Let’s go!” After that, I slammed the club into another goblin.
Wham.
A lump formed on his head, like a third horn. He passed out as well. Out of the 88, 87 were out with lumps on their heads.
“Hyaah!”
With both hands, I swung the goblin club. Occasionally, some gold pieces would fall out as I hit a goblin. It was pretty cool.
“This place is going to become a gold mine pretty soon.”
Soon, everyone will forget that this was a haunted house and would become a mining ground for gold. Anyways, there was only one left.
“Hey, you.”
“Hehe.”
The goblin smirked. Was this guy the leader? The others just came at me, but this one simply stayed back, doing nothing. It was like he was the boss or something.
“Hey, you the boss?” I asked, pointing the club at him.
“Yes, I am,” the goblin replied with a smirk. Well, he sure seemed confident.
“I wouldn’t be smiling if I were you. Soon, you’ll end up like them,” I said, pointing out the 87 all laying around us. His face remained cocky.
“I won’t go down like that. You will.”
“Oh?”
This guy just doesn’t get it, does he?
“There is one thing, though. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to hit a girl.”
He really did sound worried about that.
“I’m not a girl, idiot,” I said, giving him the finger.
“You look like a girl to me.”
“I said I’m not.”
Wow, he was annoying.
“No. Half of you is a woman already. So you’re no different from a woman.”
“Jesus, how many times do I have to say it?”
My fist clenched around the club. I’m not a girl! I’m a guy! My body may be a girl, but still! In spirit, I’m still a man! Why does he keep calling me a girl?! I won’t let him get away with this!
“I’m not Jesus. I’m a goblin.”
“Fine then, you goblin prick! Say your last prayers.”
I swung the club at him with both my hands.
Whoosh!
Unfortunately, the goblin dodged the blow and disappeared. All of a sudden, he appeared again behind me. But sadly for him, I was already facing him, swinging the club once more.
Whoosh!
And he avoided it again.
“Huh.”
This time, I couldn’t see him.
“Where did he go?”
I looked everywhere.
“Over here~”
“Huh?”
Where was that voice coming from?
Wham!
“Ergh!”
He got me in the stomach with his fist. Wow, that hurt like a bitch.
“Er…”
I took a step back and looked around. I still couldn’t see anything. I even drew up some of my powers, but I still couldn’t see him.
“Where did he go…?”
“Where do you think?”
There it was again. His voice. I couldn’t see him though. I couldn’t even tell where his voice was coming from. It was like his voice was coming from all directions.
“Are you the invisible man?”
“You mean the invisible goblin.”
“Huh.”
I needed to be more careful. I had no idea goblins could become invisible. What should I do?
“How about this?” I heard. Then, I felt his hands grab my chest.
Squeeze.
“Hey!”
I was sexually assaulted. I. Was. Sexually. Assaulted.
“See. You are a girl.”
“Ugh.”
I’m going to cut his hands off.
“Now where should I touch you next? I bet you’d hate that more than hitting you!”
As soon as he finished, I reached down and grabbed the area near my crotch. My fingers ended up around an invisible wrist.
“Wait.”
That scared him.
“Hehe.”
I smirked. This pervert actually tried to touch me in my private area. I knew he would try it which is why I reached down. I couldn’t see him, but I kept my grip on his wrist and swung the club. I threw an especially lethal blow. Of course, this was something I mastered in my previous life, and with the goblin club, it was even more effective. He was dead meat now.
Pow! Pow! Wham! Pow!
***
“Be sure to edit it nicely.”
“….”
The head manager Heejin had no response. She was even prettier when she wasn’t talking.
“I’m really sorry,” Hyunmin apologized with a bow.
“Where the hell were you during all of this?” Heejin snapped at Hyunmin with a glare.
“The thing is…Sian suddenly disappeared and…”
Hyunmin bowed her head again.
“No, I didn’t,” I said. The two of them turned to look at me.
“But, wait, isn’t that my little brother?” Heejin said, staring at one of the knocked out goblins. Hyunmin’s eyes became wide as she nodded.
“I think so…”
“Oh my god!”
Heejin ran towards her little brother and looked over him. The more she saw, the more her face darkened. He was the last goblin, the one who got beat up after he touched my chest. I really let him have it. He’ll probably be out for at least a year.
“Who did this?”
“Me,” I answered honestly. She was going to find out anyway. No point in hiding it.
“How…how dare you…”
“He tried to touch my chest first,” I countered. I was just giving him a piece of my mind.
“Hmph! Like I believe that! My little brother is the sweetest, most pure guy there is! How dare you lie to me!”
Heejin then began to transform into a goblin. I’ve never seen her so angry before. You really can’t deny their resemblance.
“Wait! Calm down!” Hyunmin said, blocking Heejin.
“Look at my brother! You expect me to just let this go?!” Heejin shouted, pointing at her brother. She looked furious.
“Look!” Hyunmin said, pointing at something. That something was the other 87 goblins I had knocked out. At that, Heejin regained her composure. That was rather impressive.
“You! Sian!”
“Yes?”
“You better watch yourself! I won’t let you get away with this! I’m going to send every goblin after you! I’ll send them to where you live! You bitch!”
“Well, well, well.”
To think a woman so beautiful could spit out words so crude. This was quite frustrating. Even if they are family, she should still believe me. Was she deaf or something?
“Call all the goblins!” Heejin shouted.
“Are you going to kill her?” Hyunmin asked.
“We have to get rid of these goblins!”
“Oh, right.”
With a final glare at me, the two of them turned and walked away. So I turned to the main producer from earlier.
“Hey, make sure you edit me well, okay?”
“You know I’m a goblin as well, right?”
“….”
There was no escape.
