Song Yu pouted and looked unhappy.
She had only known how to write numbers like one, two, three, four. It was finally time for her to learn how to write words, just like an adult would. This had excited little Song Yu very much. She was more excited than getting to learn numbers as she always had the curiosity for learning new things.
However, due to the arrival of Xia Wenna and her two sons, the lesson had to be rescheduled.
The problem was that if she was not to write then, she would be uncomfortable. Her heart would be aching for it with her mind being unable to let go of it.
“I can teach you.” She remembered that he was just about ten at that time. However, Qi Chengzhi was already a more reserved child compared to the other children his same age.
“Really?” The little mouth of Song Yu which was pouting earlier immediately turned into a bright smile.
Qi Chengzhi nodded, but Qi Chengji who was at the side of him showed dissatisfaction. “But I want to play!”
Qi Chengzhi drew out a Chinese hacky sack from his pocket and threw it at him. “Go on, play it in the garden.”
Qi Chengji caught the Chinese hacky sack with both hands. Surprisingly, he was easily dismissed – he had stopped complaining and ran to the garden to play by himself.
“Where are we going to write?” Qi Chengzhi asked.
Little Song Yu eagerly reached out her fair soft little hands and pulled Qi Chengzhi to her bedroom.
Her bedroom was a little too big for her age. To his surprise, it was not in pink like other girls, which he had anticipated at first. It was only in warm beige color which made him feel comfortable. He did not have to be blinded by the color pink.
In spite of that, there was something that could not be avoided. Dolls that piled up over the table and bed.
In between the bed and the door, there was a space where a coffee table was placed. If they were to sit on the soft rug, the height of the table would be just fine for them.
Qi Chengzhi sat beside Song Yu, sneaking one arm around her. His other hand held hers that was holding the pen. Bringing her soft little hand to write down these two words:
Jiang Yuan.
For an eleven-year-old, Qi Chengzhi’s handwriting was really beautiful. Though it was not as smooth as it would normally be since he was holding Song Yu’s hand. It was neat and firm, foreshadowing how strong his handwriting would be in the future.
“What is this?” Song Yu blinked. She did not recognize those two words. “Is this my name?”
“This is my name.” He was still holding her in his arm.
“But your name has three words!” Song Yu pouted. “I may be very young, but don’t you lie to me.”
Qi Chengzhi laughed at her reaction. “I’m not lying to you. This is really my name. It is my other name.”
“You have two names?” Song Yu opened her mouth in shock. This was her first time discovering that one could have two names. “Why do you have two names?”
“The members of my family all have two names,” answered Qi Chengzhi patiently. “Of course, only our Qi family has. This is my other name, Jiang Yuan.”
Qi Chengzhi taught her how to pronounce them. After making sure Song Yu had recognized these two words, he said “this name is a secret. I’ve only told one person, which is you. You can’t tell anyone.”
“Okay.” Song Yu nodded and promised him.
Qi Chengzhi chuckled as if to hint something and said, “I’m not sure if you will remember it or not in the future.”
Then, he tore the page out, laying it at the side of the book. “Write these again according to it.”
This time, Song Yu’s fair, soft little hand held the pen by itself and wrote them down without the help of Qi Chengzhi. The handwriting was of course crooked. The two dots on top of the word Jiang were flying out of shape. The three horizontal lines were as crooked as earthworms. The word “Nu” at the bottom was far away from the upper part, leaving a big gap in between, looking like two words.
Despite that, the word “Yuan” was smaller in size than the word “Jiang”. Plus, it did not look like it was well-aligned.
Upon finishing her writing, Qi Chengzhi also tore out that page. Folded it neatly and put it in his pocket.
…
…
Song Yu was now holding that paper which had turned yellow. It seemed to have become thin and fragile from time. It was as if it could be effortlessly broken down into pieces.
Looking at two of the misaligned words “Jiang Yuan”, her memories became clearer.
She remembered Qi Chengzhi who told her in confidence that this was his other name.
When she was small, she was still unaware of The Great Eight Families. She did not know that other than their given names, they would have courtesy names too.
The Great Eight Families originated from the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. When the Qin Dynasty defeated the six states, their ancestors, who were the aristocrats then, had a narrow escape. With the help of the National Teachers of Wei, the aristocrats of the seven states all came together. They concealed their identities to continue their lives. Along with the continuous war, they had established unimaginable cultural conservation.
As they were unable to use their surnames when they were supposed to remain hidden, they had taken their states’ names as their new surnames to continue making a living. They kept their actual surnames as their courtesy names. From one generation to the next, the surnames had been passed on lest they forget their origins.
“Jiang”, was the surname of Qi state’s aristocrats.
Song Yu was unaware of this. Even when she was engaged to Qi Chengzhi, she had no inkling of the courtesy name of Qi Chengzhi.
She had never connected those ancestors’ surnames to The Great Eight Families.
This was because the courtesy names of The Great Eight Families were only made known to the wives.
Only then Song Yu knew about the culture of The Great Eight Families, fully aware that each of them had been holding different courtesy names. Other than that, she remembered what was initially forgotten – of what Qi Chengzhi had told her when she was small.
By recalling what Qi Chengzhi had said in the past, she could easily understand the meaning behind these two words.
Song Yu could not help but cry in shock. Her hand trembled while holding onto the piece of paper while gasping for air at the same time.
She had not expected Qi Chengzhi to have told her about his courtesy name at such an early age.
She was very young then. The memories she had of that age were vague. She could only remember bits and pieces from that incident with most of the details faded away.
How could he be so confident that she would remember his name?
What if she had forgotten?
Before discovering the paper, she had really forgotten about its existence. She did not remember his courtesy name. Surprisingly, he had not brought it up to her too.
Song Yu did not understand. Why did he tell her his courtesy name when she was in such an early age. This was something that was only supposed to be divulged to his wife.
Her fingers shakily caressed the ugly and misaligned words, before folding it back gently.
Twenty years came by and he was still holding onto it.
She placed back the paper to where it was supposed to be. Only by then, it dawned on her that the book was a diary. The place that was keeping the paper, was the last page of the diary.
Song Yu recognized it. The strong but reserved handwriting. It was the handwriting of Qi Chengzhi.
The last diary entry wrote:
Song Yu accepted my proposal. She will be my bride. Finally.
It was short, but it surprisingly met the personality of Qi Chengzhi. No matter if it was his speaking or diary scribblings, they were always simple and straightforward.
She was unaware of the reason but Song Yu could still feel his excitement and agitation through his words despite it being short and simple.
While caressing the lines of words with her finger, the charming face of Qi Chengzhi appeared on the paper.
It was as if he was watching her carefully and concentratedly at that moment.
Song Yu turned to the first page of the diary and began reading.
…
…
‘Today was the first day of Song Yu being in elementary school. It was her very first time wearing the school uniform of Jixia School. I saw her passing through the school entrance with a careful expression.’
…
‘Today, we came across each other. Song Yu seemed to have become afraid of me. She lowered her head and left without greeting me.’
…
‘Song Yu is now in fourth grade.’
…
‘From tomorrow onwards, I will be studying abroad in the United States. I would not know how Song Yu would look like when I come back. Would she be gorgeous?’
…
‘Today was the very first day that I am not able to see Song Yu.’
…
‘Today was the second day.’
…
…
She kept turning the pages forward. Qi Chengzhi did not have any other sort of entries. The rest were constantly counting on how many days he had not seen her.
…
‘Today was the second month and the tenth day I was not able to see Song Yu.’
…
‘Today was the fifth month and the seventh day I was not able to see Song Yu. I had founded a company here. I named it Feather.’
…
‘Today was the second year, third month and the third day I was not able to see Song Yu. She had been engaged to Qi Chengji.’
…
‘Today was the second year, third month and the fourth day I was not able to see Song Yu. I gave my family a call. They insisted on the engagement. They would not regret it in any case.’
…
‘Today was the second year, third month and the fifth day I was not able to see Song Yu. I have made a decision. Whether I would be spending a long time, or making a big effort, even if it required me to be unscrupulous, I must destroy the engagement between Song Yu and Qi Chengji.’
…
‘Yesterday, I met Song Yu. At long last. However, she was not aware of it. I found her drowning. As long as I was here, I would never let her get into any accidents. Only when she was in my embrace, I realized that my Song Yu had grown up.’
…
‘Today was the fourth year, seventh month and twelve days I was not able to see Song Yu. If she knew about what I had done, she would hate me.’
…
‘Today was the fourth year, seventh month and the twenty-fifth day I was not able to see Song Yu. I do not regret the things I had done to the Song family. Or else, she would have been the bride of another person.’
…
‘Tomorrow I would be returning to my homeland. I will be able to see Song Yu.’
…
‘My family had allowed me to work in Qilin. I chose to be the principal of Jiaxia School so that I could see Song Yu every day.’
…
‘Today, I saw Song Yu from the window of my office. She was having P.E. lessons in her sportswear and it was a beautiful sight.’
…
‘Today, I saw Song Yu walking to the restaurant from my window.’
…
‘Today, I saw Song Yu going to school.’
…
‘Chengji is in trouble. The engagement was called off. The bankruptcy of the Song family is exposed. I wanted to remedy this situation, but it was too late.’
…
‘Song Yu is working part-time. I hate myself for letting her suffer.’
…
‘Song Yu is furthering her studies in B University. I will wait for her graduation.’
…
‘Song Yu had chosen architecture as her major. I have begun to pay attention to the trends in the property markets.’
…
‘Song Yu went to Chengshi. I requested to be transferred to the Qilin Property. We will meet.’
…
‘Today I met my Song Yu. Finally, I could meet her face to face again. At that moment, it felt like I was alive again. I could feel my heart beating and blood warming up. I felt human again.’
…
‘I have finally kissed Song Yu. However, I could only pretend that I was dreaming of another lady. She was furious yet still beautiful. She did not know that it was my first kiss. I had not had any other lady in my life aside from her.’
…
‘She confessed to me today, but it was meant for another man. At that moment, I felt like my heart had stopped beating. It was so uncomfortable, I felt the pain.’
…
‘Song Yu adores another man, but the man is worthy of it.’
…
‘I was just in front of her, but she could not see.’
…
‘My Song Yu, she is finally my Song Yu.’
…
‘I fear that she would know about the truth behind the Song family’s bankruptcy. I am afraid that she would leave me if she finds out.’
…
‘As long as she does not hate me and would continue being by my side; as long as she agrees to be my wife, I would be willing to give up the entirety of the Qi family, just to repay her one Song family.’
…
‘I care for neither the Qi family nor the Song family. I only want Song Yu. Her taking up my surname and becoming my wife, in this life, forever.’
…
‘I want to propose to her, my Song Yu. Finally, it is worth waiting for.’
…
…
Song Yu almost lost her breath. Looking at the strong handwriting on the pages, her chest felt like it had been blocked by a rock, her eyes felt sore and warm. Eventually, with one droplet following another, tears dripped onto the paper.
Every diary entry of his was short, with only a few sentences. Regardless, every day, every page was dedicated to her.
He said he had never been with any other lady. He had been waiting for her. He went so far as to keep his first kiss for her.
A man with such few words, even his diary had little to say. However, the strong handwriting of his showed his untempered emotions.
Song Yu held onto the diary dumbfounded, still feeling astounded by the words in his diary.
She could not help but think about how Qi Chengzhi was when he was writing the diary. What kind of emotions he had running through him, what kind of impressions he had on his mind.
Day by day, he had been counting the days that he could not see her. There was no more than the words which were noting down days that he could not see her.
It could have been such a simple sentence, but it was making her heart ache. It seemed like his daily life had been revolving around her. Constantly taking notes of how long it had been since he last met her, how long he would need to wait before going back to meet her.
His words made her feel like she was his whole world, his only world.
Without her, he would be nothing.
This kind of love was too overwhelming. She thought that she had already loved him a lot. She thought that hers was already enough to return his love. Now only did she know that her love for him was still far shallower from his.
She did not know that he had been watching her for such a long time.
She did not know that the existence of such an innocent man in the world was still possible. Clean on both inside and out while retaining himself in the purest state, just for her.
When she encountered him again, her first impression of him was the clean temperament on him. Now only did she realize that it was not just his appearance.
What if before all these happened, she was to have a boyfriend? What if she had been married? What if… she had given her first time to another man? What would he do? Had those thoughts never crossed his mind?
Would it be unfair to him?
Her fingertips kept caressing on his strong handwriting. She could not comprehend how he had done it. How he could wait for her for such a long time, with such patience.
He was so reckless. Plotting all these, just for her.
Song Yu closed her eyes. His clean face again appeared in her mind again.
At that moment, she missed him very dearly.
Her chest was in pain. She carefully closed the diary and pressed it onto her chest, a place where it closest to her heart.
“You are a foolish, idiotic man,” she whispered while unable to stop holding back her tears. “I am sorry that I haven’t been there for you. I am sorry to have been engaged to Qi Chengji before.”
If it was not for that, he would not be forced out of his hand to the extent that he had to destroy the Song family to marry her.
She was supposed to resent him, but now she possessed nothing but resounding love for him.
‘I would be willing to give up the entire of Qi family, just to repay her one Song family.’ Having read that sentence, she was not able to carry on resenting him anymore.
She knew that he was sincere. As long as she did not hate him, he was willing to sacrifice anything. Even if she had requested for the world, he would also not hesitate to get it for her.
She had never known that one person could love her to such an extent.
Song Yu placed the diary back into the drawer gently, before closing it. With hesitations, she opened the cupboard under the drawer again.
Lying inside was a safe box. Strangely, she knew that what she had been looking for was inside of the safe box.
Song Yu moved and squatted in front of the safe box with her fingers touching the lock softly.
With her fingers shaking after some time, they left the lock.
Forget it. He had written it clearly in the diary, why should she try to open the safe box again?
Song Yu stood up once more, grabbing the folder she had placed on the table.
Her eyes stared on the folder without blinking and seemed to be making an important decision.
Suddenly, her grab on the folder tightened and she left the study room. She had not come across Aunt Yang. If she was, she would be misunderstood if she were to be seen holding onto a folder while walking out of Qi Chengzhi’s study room.
She ran up to the second floor immediately and headed to the dressing room.
She went to the edge where it was specially purposed for accessories and pulled out the drawer, there were lighters belonging to Qi Chengzhi laying inside.
Though he was not smoking then, it was only temporary. The lighters were still being kept as they were either branded or limited edition.
Song Yu did not appreciate the novelty value of the lighters and simply took one of them and proceeded to head back to the bedroom.
Upon opening the door and entering the bathroom, she cautiously closed the door behind her and locked it. Only by then, she pulled out the folder that had been crumpled in her grasp. The creases on the paper were permanent and were incapable of being smoothened out anymore.
She lit up the lighter and set the folder on fire without hesitation. The flame started to spread from one of the corners while engulfing the documents contained within, it turned the edge to black ashes.
Once the flame was nearly reaching the corner where her fingers were holding, Song Yu threw the folder which by then was only a corner into the toilet bowl. While the small corner fell into the toilet bowl, the flame had completely devoured it.
She breathed a sigh of relief. After making this decision, her whole body felt lighter. It was like all the weight pressing down on her body was lifted.
She returned to the living room where Aunt Yang had started preparing for dinner.
Song Yu realized that she had not informed Qi Chengzhi about her early return. She had been in such a hurry before. If he had not been informed, he would still go and wait for her at the entrance of Chengshi.
Thus, she made a call to Qi Chengzhi and told him that she had already arrived home.
“Ok.” To her surprise, the response of Qi Chengzhi seemed to be one of indifference. He did not even ask her about the reason for being home early before hanging up the call.
Song Yu was taken aback. Looking at her phone, she knew that Qi Chengzhi’s attitude was unusual to say the least.
