< — I love you — > (2)
As Lucia was leaving the break room, she gently bumped into a woman who was entering and drew back slightly.
“What do you think you’re doing! How can you be so careless! Don’t you know who this is!”
A sharp, angry voice butted in. A noblewoman from who knows where, suddenly showed up and condemned the woman who had bumped into Lucia. Lucia didn’t remember the exact name, but she knew that the noblewoman was some Countess. There were a lot of Countesses, so it was easy to mix them up.
“I’m…I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” (?)
“Oh my goodness! You got makeup on her dress! What are you going to do about this!” (Countess)
The Countess yelled as if the worst thing in the world had happened. Her shrill voice was very irritating. Lucia looked at the part of her shoulder where the Countess was furiously pointing to.
‘How did she even see this?’
Indeed, there was a little makeup stain, but it was very little. Lucia felt like she should at least acknowledge the sharp eyes of the Countess who was making a big deal out of nothing.
As Lucia looked at the woman who was bowing and apologizing repeatedly, her mind flew back to the person she was in her dream. The person back then was very clumsy, kept making mistakes and wished she could find a hole to breathe in. The extremely flustered woman in front of her seemed very pitiful. Lucia calmed the Countess who was in a rage beside her.
“I don’t wish to raise my voice in a nice occasion so that is enough. I am fine.” (Lucia)
“Ehem. How can you be so generous, Duchess? Your regard is as magnificent as your beauty.”
The Countess now began to heap praises on Lucia.
‘I’m tired.’
Lucia was learning the weariness of being surrounded by people these days.
“It is also my mistake for not checking in front of me. Are you alright?” (Lucia)
The woman who was fidgeting with her head bowed, flinched in surprise when she heard Lucia’s words.
“I…I am fine. I have committed…such an act of rudeness…to the Duchess…”
“It’s fine. Which family are you from? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.” (Lucia)
“I am…Alisa of the Count Matin family.”
Lucia’s heart lurched wildly. It was the current wife of Count Matin. Lucia remembered hearing the woman’s name in her dream. Alisa was the second wife of Count Matin whom he divorced before marrying Lucia. Lucia heard that after the divorce, Alisa left the capital and went to her parent’s home in the west. Therefore, Lucia had never seen her face before.
“…I see. I hope you enjoy the party.” (Lucia)
Lucia gave a slight nod in greeting and walked past her. She didn’t want to be connected to anything related to the Count of Matin. Even if it was the former wife who was another sacrificial lamb for that bastard.
‘So they haven’t gotten divorced yet.’
The Countess’ slouched shoulders and wooden expression that reflected distress were just like herself in the dream. While Lucia felt sympathy for the Countess, she also felt irritated by a strange sense of displeasure.
The Count of Matin had three sons from three different mothers. The youngest son, Bruno, was the son of the ex-wife who got divorced before Lucia became the Countess. Since Bruno was one year older than Damian, he was probably ten years old now.
[It’s the start of a long day, Countess.]
Bruno never called Lucia ‘mother’. He was a cheeky boy who called her Countess every single time without fail. However, Lucia didn’t hate the precocious boy whose eyes were filled with emptiness.
The other two sons of the Count were not that different in age from Lucia, so they ignored each other as if they were complete strangers. The only conversation they had was greeting each other. Unlike them, Bruno would have brief conversations with her when they crossed path sometimes. It was not the friendly sort of conversation. Bruno usually had a sarcastic tone unlike that of a child. But still, Bruno was the only person she talked to in the count residence.
[How did you get into this hell?]
Lucia only smiled weakly at the boy’s mocking words.
The boy stared at Lucia and said:
[My mother succeeded in running away. She threw away all her burdens and got to live very freely.]
The boy’s eyes were dreary. Lucia sensed that the boy included himself in the ‘burdens’ he mentioned.
[Do you want to see your mother?] (Lucia)
The boy’s silence was long. Nevertheless, his reply was short and firm.
[No. Never.]
One day, Bruno called Lucia when she returned home exhausted after attending a ball. It was late at night and the child should have been sleeping.
[Countess. Shall I let you in on an interesting secret?]
Bruno brought Lucia to an empty room that wasn’t very far from her bedroom. She probably wouldn’t have followed Bruno if he was slightly older but since Bruno was still young, she didn’t really have her guard up around him. She thought of him as the only human being in the count residence.
[I’m the only one that knows this secret but I’m letting Countess know specially.]
When she didn’t refuse, Bruno pushed himself into the dusty fireplace and manipulated something inside. And then the sound of something clattering could be heard followed by the fireplace slowly turning around to reveal a dark, gaping hole.
The boy seemed satisfied with the surprise on Lucia’s face and snickered like a mischievous child. He told her to follow him and entered inside. Lucia hesitated for a moment before following after him. Bruno lit up a torch and pulled down the stick hanging from the wall. The fireplace turned and closed, leaving the two of them alone in the secret space.
[I heard we’ve lived in this mansion since my great-grandfather. This place was probably made by the original owner of the mansion. No one in the family knows about this place.]
They walked along the narrow cavernous path and went down the subsequent stairs. They climbed down the stairs for quite a while. Then, a chamber with a wide and high ceiling emerged. It seemed like an underground chamber with no opening for light to enter but even though it was dim, there was no problem with identifying the surroundings. The walls of the chamber were filled with odd substances that gave off a faint light.
[They seem to be luminous substances, but I don’t know exactly what they are. It’s amazing, isn’t it? They must be very old, but they still glow. Perhaps a long time ago, they used to be as bright as daytime.]
There wasn’t much to see. The impressive view was short-lived.
[There is a path that leads out of here. I’ll show you that next time.]
There was no next time. Lucia never got to meet Bruno late at night again. And then, Bruno was driven to the Academy after rebelling against his father. The boy left, and Lucia was lonely for a while.
As time passed, her body and mind grew more exhausted and she loathed her circumstances. Every night, she prayed and begged to be taken away from here and break free of all her restraints. As she despaired over her unfulfilled prayer, she suddenly remembered the secret space that Bruno had showed to her.
‘Let’s run away. No one will take me away from here.’
Lucia chose a day to explore the secret space. She went down the stairway that continued from the fireplace and when she arrived at the chamber, she searched for the hidden passage that Bruno had talked about. After looking everywhere, she found a device similar to that of the fireplace. Beyond the hidden door was a dark and narrow tunnel.
Lucia walked along the path. According to Bruno, this place was built a long time, but the stone walls of the tunnel looked very strong. After walking for about two hours, she found herself in a cemetery outside the capital.
To Lucia, this place was a light in the darkness. She gathered money to buy jewelry and prepared assets for herself without anyone’s knowledge. In order for her to stay in hiding for a while, she took some dry rations and piled them up in the chamber. There was a small underground well in the chamber, so she didn’t need to worry about water. She continued to make preparations for over a year.
It happened on one particular night when sleep refused to come. Lucia suffered from insomnia even though she was usually physically tired. After tossing and turning on the bed, she got up and went to the balcony because she couldn’t sleep
As she absentmindedly stared into the darkness before her, she noticed a crowd of torches flocking towards the mansion. Her heart sank with a thud and the hairs on her neck rose with dread. Her senses were telling her that something dangerous had taken place. Lucia immediately gathered all her jewelry in a jewelry box and went into the secret space.
That day was the day when the Count Matin family was exterminated.
Lucia spent her time in the chamber, hiding in fear. She had no way of knowing what was happening outside while she was hidden in the dim, tranquil underground chamber. She suppressed the side of her that wanted to go up in curiosity and remained hidden as if she were dead.
Even though she couldn’t hear any noise from above while she was underground, she suppressed her footsteps too. She couldn’t even tell the passage of time. If she was hungry, she ate; if she was sleepy, she slept. She had a rough estimate of time by watching the rations shrink.
Lucia endured time in the dark chamber, dreadfully alone. The worst thing was the growing number of rats because of the food. When she remembered the nauseating face of Count Matin, she endured. Compared to him, the rats were adorable.
However, there was a limit to her endurance. After a month, she couldn’t bear walking up to the sound of squeaking rats any more. She prepared herself to go out.
She remembered hearing that coming into the sunlight after being in the dark for a long time could blind the eyes. For a week, she took the long tunnel and made round-trips to the public cemetery to familiarize her eyes with the sunlight leaking from the entrance. And finally, Lucia went out.
< — I love you — > (2)
The evening cemetery was quiet and bleak. Lucia didn’t see any shadows of people let alone people tracking her.
She packed only a few of the jewelry that she had and left the rest hidden in the tunnel. She changed into the old clothes she had prepared, pulled a hood over her head and walked out of the graveyard.
She kept herself from being seen and aimlessly walked towards a remote area. She had no destination. She just wanted to get somewhere far away. Around day break, she discovered an old house standing alone in a desolate plain without any human traces.
Lucia felt very exhausted. She had walked all night and couldn’t feel her feet anymore. She felt like if she relaxed, she would immediately fall asleep. She approached the house, unable give thought to the aftermath. As she carefully approached to the house, the door suddenly flew open and an old woman came out.
The old woman fixed a stare at Lucia’s startled frame then suddenly shouted at her.
[Lucy! Where have you been that you’re only crawling back now! Go out and quickly draw water so we can eat breakfast.]
When Lucia looked on blankly, the old woman continued to roar. Lucia was too tired to think clearly. Hearing the old woman talk about food, she realized she was hungry and picked up the bucket as she was ordered.
[Where should I draw the water from?]
The old woman yelled, calling her a stupid wench before telling her where the well was. Lucia didn’t feel hostility from the old woman’s rough words, so it didn’t really affect her.
She carried the bucket and went to the well site. And seeing her reflection on the surface of the water, she grabbed her hair with trembling hands.
[Ahhh!]
Her reddish-brown hair had turned white. While she was trembling in the darkness for over a month, her body had been unable to endure the extreme stress, and this was the result.
Sometime later, Lucia realized that the old woman was not mentally sound. The old woman could not remember anything she had said and only repeated what she had said in the past. The old woman had a daughter called Lucy and Lucia realized later on that the girl, Lucy, fell in love with a man she knew for a long time and left the house without sending back any news.
Lucia lived together with the old woman as Lucy, her daughter, until the old woman passed away about six months later.
The past or the future. Lucia thought back to her memories in the dream as she sat in the carriage returning home. Sometimes, Lucia thought to herself:
‘What did I really see? Did I really dream about the future? Or, did I experience the future and come back to the past?’
When she woke up in the morning after having the dream when she was twelve, Lucia was convinced that the dream was her future. And after that, she ran around trying to change her future without thinking about anything else.
The weight on Lucia wasn’t an experience of living through one lifetime but that of having a dream. It was certainly her own life but at the same time, she also felt like she was watching it.
Lucia’s life in the dream was tough and difficult. The pain and sorrow were vivid as if she had experienced it herself. However, the vividness did not exceed a certain limit. No matter how terrible the pain was, it did not leave a fatal wound on her mind.
‘Some parts are detailed and clear while some parts can’t be remembered.’
Lucia couldn’t remember seeing herself reach old age in her dream. She could only vaguely remember the quiet life she lived as an elderly woman after quitting her job as a maid and getting a house in a secluded area.
The way Lucia saw it, if she had come back from the future, her last memory should have been the clearest in her head. Which is why she thought it was a dream. It wasn’t something she could talk about with anyone, so the dilemma always circled around the same place in her head.
“I want to stop somewhere for a bit.”
Lucia asked her maid to tell them to turn the carriage around. She wanted to go take a look at the house that Norman gave to her as a gift.
* * *
Lucia slowly looked around the cozy two-story house. All of Norman’s furniture remained unchanged, bringing forth nostalgia. The house was supervised regularly so it squeaky clean but perhaps because nobody lived in it, there was a desolate aura in the air.
‘I heard that a house without occupants will get ruined quickly. Do I rent it out?’
Some time ago, Lucia’s lifelong dream was to buy a small, cozy house like this. In just less than two years, her life had become completely different. Her life was flowing in an unpredictable direction. The heart-pounding anticipation in her heart was larger than the fear of the unknown.
[Do you know how boring life would be if you knew what would happen in the future? Life is only livable because it is unpredictable.]
Lucia chuckled as she vividly recalled what Norman had said before. Norman was a wise individual. At least to Lucia, she was. (1)
On the way back home for the second time, the carriage was brought to a stop. None of the carriages on the street were moving. The maid passed along the words from the coachman who went to check out the situation.
“A carriage toppled over so we’ll have to turn around the street, Milady.”
The carriage started moving again. As Lucia looked out the carriage window, she felt that the street they were passing looked strangely familiar.
‘This is the neighborhood I lived in when I was young.’
Feeling sentimental as she looked on, Lucia made the carriage pull over. The carriage stopped on one side of the street. Lucia came down from the carriage and stood in front of the old pawnshop. There were miscellaneous goods with prices listed on them beyond the window.
She walked into the pawn shop, reliving the old memories where she walked along this particular street, holding hands with her mother.
The old man who was nodding off to sleep in his chair was awoken by the screeching sound of the door opening. The owner of the pawn shop sprang to his feet with bulging eyes. A woman in luxurious attire and an air of importance, a woman standing modestly next to her, and a man who looked like an escort. It was the typical noblewoman and her attendants. The old man was flustered because it was a customer he would never have the chance to meet as the owner of a long-standing local pawn shop.
“Is there something you’re looking for…?” (Shop owner)
“How long have you been the owner of this place?” (Lucia)
“I have been the owner for decades.”
“I want to find out the whereabouts of an item than once stayed for a while, it was pawned here more than 10 years ago. Is it possible for you to know?”
“I remember all the decent items that come through here. I also write all of them down in the ledger. What sort of item is it?”
Lucia traced back the years and told him the approximate time the pendant was sold, the age and appearance of her mother when she left the pendant at the pawn shop and the description of the pendant. The owner of the pawn shop tilted his head with an odd expression.
“There was someone who was also looking for the same thing recently.” (Shop owner)
“They were looking for the pendant I’m talking about? Who?” (Lucia)
“It was a young man. But I don’t know who it is.”
Fabian’s subordinate came to the pawn shop looking for the pendant, but there was no way for Lucia to know that.
“I also said this to that person but, I have never seen such a pendant. It has never been to our store.” (Shop owner)
“That can’t be right. I definitely saw it on display here.” (Lucia)
“As you can see, this is a small shop aimed at people who live in this neighborhood. It’s obvious what kind of items come in here. If such a rare article was pawned here, there is no way I would not remember it. Although I am old, I still have a good memory. I have not been left with an item like that pendant for decades.”
The owner of the pawn shop looked certain. When Lucia continued to say that it wasn’t possible, he brought out all his old ledgers and showed them to her. It was a thoroughly documented record of who pawned what, how much they borrowed, and what process happened afterwards. Through the records, one could get of glimpse of the thoroughness of the pawn shop owner.
Lucia scoured through the 20 years of records. Just like the pawn shop owner said, the pendant had never come to the pawn shop. It was difficult to claim that he purposefully manipulated the ledger to hide that fact.
‘But I saw it. The sight of my mother standing vacantly in front of this store is still vivid in my mind.’
Lucia left the pawnshop with confusion and doubt in her mind. Dean who was following behind her as her escort decided to ask:
“Is there another place you want to stop at?”
“No. Let’s go home.” (Lucia)
Walking a few steps behind Lucia and her maid as they headed towards the carriage, Dean brought his wrist to his mouth and muttered in a low voice.
“We are departing now. Destination is the mansion.”
On Dean’s wrist was a simple-looking silver bracelet. It looked more durable than silver and had a certain sheen to it. One of his ears also had a unique accessory hanging from it. The hook shape of the accessory was too strange to call it an earring. A part of the tip was inside his ear and the hook-like part curled around his ear. The accessory was covered by his hair, so it wasn’t very visible.
There were four distant carriages standing in each of the four directions of the carriage that Lucia was climbing into. The carriages were located beyond the turn of the corner so Lucia could not see them. Inside a very ordinary-looking carriage with an ordinary-looking coachman, were knights in armor disguised as plain clothes.
“We’re leaving. Team 1, Team 2, head out. Team 3, stand-by. Team 4 at the rear.”
The Knight giving out the orders wore the same accessory as Dean on his wrist and on his ear.
Lucia knew that one Knight called Dean was escorting her. But she didn’t know that she was under heavy security like that of a mansion. The convoy was so secretive that they were undetectable.
Translator’s Corner:
