Chapter 244 – Wretched Prank
“Open sesame!”
Eren said out loud and couldn’t help chuckling as the Diceros Left was lodged right in the beast’s anal cavity. The butcher didn’t stop there. He first cancelled his Blitz Steps and executed the fire and lightning combo he had previously used.
Fireball!
Blitz Bolt!
Eren didn’t care about tweaking his fire-element spell this time and executed it the way it should be. He would usually create the fireball at the tip of his weapon before releasing it towards his opponents.
“Bleeeeeeeeeeh!”
Eren could feel that the beast’s cry this time was even more high-pitched than before. But it couldn’t exactly blame the boar for that either.
Since his weapon was inside the beast’s anal cavity, Eren couldn’t see the fireball he had executed. Neither could he see Blitz Bolt wreaking havoc inside the beast’s body.
But Eren knew his strategy had paid off this time. Because the boar’s body froze in its steps as soon as he detonated two of his most potent attacking spells inside it.
The earth-element beast was helpless when the lightning spell was executed inside its body. Its exoskeleton couldn’t do a damn thing about it either.
It only took a few moments for the beast’s defensive spell to get dispersed. The exoskeleton crumpled down as the beast’s body came out in the open again.
The beast’s eyeballs turned white and a dense volume of smoke came from its mouth. Its fur covering its entire body also stood straight for as long as the Blitz Bolt was active inside its anal cavity.
Eren kept track of the beast’s vital signs using his mana sense while he executed the combo spells inside the beast’s stink-box. Only after he was assured that the beast was dead did he stop his execution and retract Diceros Left from its lodged position.
The beast’s lifeless body fell on the ground as soon as Eren stopped executing his spell and took his weapon out. His vision got clear and he could see his ranger and historian approaching him in haste.
Eren amusedly thought of something and threw Diceros Left towards Renita who was now only a few meters away from him.
“Renita, here. Catch!”
“Eeeeeeeek!”
The ranger cried in surprise and disgust as she got out of the weapon’s trajectory as fast she could with her movement spell. She had seen what Eren had done with that weapon. So it’d be a cold day in hell before she even came close with something like that tainted object, much less touch it.
Bel had also seen Eren lodging his weapon in the beast’s anal cavity while he was being protected by Renita from a distance. But he couldn’t see the butcher throwing his weapon towards them as he was running right behind the ranger.
Bel’s face was right in the middle of the weapon’s trajectory. And the historian was caught unaware after seeing the tainted weapon flying towards him. His brain froze and he couldn’t think of the right action to dodge the weapon or to catch it with his hands.
Thankfully, Bel’s luck wasn’t too shitty. So when the weapon landed on his face, it was the weapon’s hilt that made contact with his chin. That impact killed the weapon’s speed and made it non-lethal.
But the inertia was still strong enough for the weapon to finish its flip. The flat face of the weapon made contact with Bel’s nose. Moments later, it fell to the ground.
Bel understood what had happened to him. He could still feel the hilt making contact with his chin that had forced his head back a bit. And besides that, he could also feel the flat side of the blade making contact with his nose.
The blade’s edges were coated with the beast’s blood. It didn’t have any faecal residue over it. But that didn’t stop the historian from imagining that there was indeed some beast poop mixed in that blood. His imagination was so strong that he could also smell the poop.
Bel tilted forward and started vomiting after his imagination ran wild in his head. Right in front of him was Diceros Left, which he vomited over. The historian didn’t stop until he threw out all that he had eaten when the team took its break before the battle.
Bel only stopped tilting forward when he realized that there was nothing in his tummy that he could throw out anymore. Eren and Renita were both approaching him. One with an awkward smile the other with guilt written over her face.
“I… I’m sorry, Bel. I didn’t know you wouldn’t be able to dodge that accursed weapon. And that weapon landed right on… I should have known and made you aware.
It’s all Eren’s fault.”
Renita looked at Eren with a scorned face. The latter maintained his awkward and laced-with-a-tad-bit-of-guilt smile and said while raising his open palms in surrender:
“I was just trying to test your presence of mind for the post-battle scenarios, you know. Sometimes you become most vulnerable when you step out of the battle, and that’s the opportunity an enemy in the shadow might use to attack you.
Renita passed the test. But Bel… you… let’s say that you need to take that test again. Hehe!”
Bel didn’t have the strength in him to argue with Eren. He wouldn’t have done it anyway even if he had the energy to spare. He was rational enough to understand that Eren’s prank wasn’t meant to harm anyone. So he just adjusted his glasses before drawing his handkerchief out to wipe his mouth.
Eren tried selling his bullshittery again. But he didn’t find the buyer in Renita who pointed a finger at him in accusation before replying with a voice of critique:
“You of all people shouldn’t say anything about the presence of mind post-battle. Did you even realize that the team’s battle with the group of boars wasn’t over yet before you decided to pull this wretched stunt?”
Eren heard Renita’s valid accusation and scratched the back of his head before replying with a salesman smile on his face:
“Um. Don’t worry about our team members. With the way they are right now, I’m sure they can handle the beasts of these levels just fine. However, they don’t have to face a bunch of them.”
Renita wanted to rebut Eren some more but she didn’t have any words to do so. In a way, this was the first time he had counted on his team members to do the jobs they were given.
She couldn’t find it in her to spoil this moment for herself or her team.
