A day after the ceremony I received a letter from the palace. It confirmed that the date of the death match would be in two weeks. It was decided that it would be a free-for-all, so that the three of us could compete fairly. The last person standing would be the winner.
This was not unexpected, for I had strongly encouraged the princess to make it a three person melee. I also encouraged her to postpone the date of the death match as far back as possible, to give me at least two weeks to prepare. It looked like the king still loved his only sister. Even though she nearly angered him to death, he still listened to her requests.
But the king was probably still furious thanks to me. The letter actually included an affidavit, wanting me to swear that I would be responsible for my death! He can’t possibly want the Son of the God of War to use this opportunity to kill me, right…?
I was flabbergasted. I signed the affidavit because I knew that with my extraordinary self-recovery ability and with the Pope watching the match it would be more likely for me to be assassinated than to die on stage.
After confirming the time of the death match I decided to look for Knight-Captain Judgment. I interrupted a random holy knight to inquire about his whereabouts, only to find that the Twelve Holy Knights were in a meeting. Now that I think about it, when was the last time I attended a meeting?
The moment I opened the door to the conference hall, everybody’s gaze shifted to me. After flashing a dazzling smile and nodding my head in acknowledgement, I apologized, “My apologies, dear brothers, Sun was unable to attend this meeting for he has been busy…”
“Don’t worry about it, Sun! You’ve been so b-busy lately… Besides, whether you’re here or not makes absolutely no difference!” Earth Knight replied ‘sincerely.’
Earth, you… I gritted my teeth, ignored Earth, and looked directly at Judgment Knight and said, “Knight-Captain Judgment, if you do not mind, could I borrow a little of your time? I want to practice my swordsmanship with you.”
Judgment answered coolly, “As long as you don’t mind getting injured, Knight-Captain Sun, it is not a problem.”
As we left the conference hall together and I conveniently shut the door behind me, I happened to hear Leaf exclaim, “OH NO! Since Sun cannot marry the princess, could he be contemplating suicide?”
Metal then replied, “Nonsense! Our Knight-Captain Judgment has no interest in beating to death someone who doesn’t even have the strength to tie up a chicken.”
At long last, all of the members of the ‘good, warm-hearted’ faction were forced to admit, “Yup! Judgment is not a person who bullies the weak.”
I could not help but sigh and turn around to inquire and complain to Judgment, “Am I really that lousy? I have survived till today and have even defeated countless undead. No matter how you look at it, I can’t be that weak, right?”
The corners of Judgment’s lips raised a little, and then he directly asked me, “Where are we going?”
“Prayer room.”
Judgment nodded and did not ask any more questions. He followed me all the way to the prayer room, which had a sign with the words “Under Renovation” hanging on the door. I ignored it, opened the door, and entered. As expected, Elijah was standing inside, looking at the painting on the wall.
I nodded in approval. This fellow Ed is pretty efficient and rather smart. Not only did he secretly sneak Elijah in under my orders, he also stuck an “Under Renovation” sign so that other people would not enter. More importantly, he understood not to stay behind after finishing the task, sparing me the effort of wasting my breath asking him to get lost. Looks like I can assign some tasks to Ed, to prevent Adair from dying of overwork before I retire. If Adair died, I would also die of grief.
Elijah was not very surprised to see me, but the moment he saw Judgment Knight he was totally stunned. “Judgment Knight!”
Judgment regarded me, then Elijah, and then frowned. “What are you up to now?” he asked.
I explained in simple terms, “I want him to marry the princess, so I hope you can teach him some sword skills before the death match.”
Judgment responded unconcerned, “I have no problem teaching you, but I don’t believe I have any obligation to help him.”
“No! You do have an obligation to help him…”
Judgment gave me an expressionless glance. He turned and started to leave.
I immediately pulled him back and added, “He is still a member of the ‘cruel, cold-hearted’ faction. You’re the boss of the ‘cruel, cold-hearted’ faction. Can you be so heartless as to abandon him?”
“What?” Judgment spun around, scowled at Elijah’s royal knight armor, and then glared at me suspiciously.
I quickly explained, “He is Knight-Captain Hell, one of the Twelve Holy Knights. The Pope forced him to spy on the palace from a young age, but because of that he no longer wants to return to the Holy Temple…” Noting the dawning realization in Judgment’s eyes, I described the situation in greater detail, “Plus, he and the princess are deeply in love. I promised him that as long as he can prevent the Son of the God of War from marrying the princess, thereby giving the Pope reasonable justification for letting him go, he will be free of the Church.”
At this point, I whispered in Judgment’s ear, “Otherwise, the Pope will kill this useless spy.”
Judgment’s frown deepened. After a long period of silence, he finally said, “The Son of the God of War is very strong. Even I am not confident that I could beat him. In addition, unlike warriors, knights are not suited to dueling. Knights ride horses to battle and are most adept at using defensive shield formations. As holy knights, we use some holy magic to make up for our limitations. But to prevent his identity from being exposed, Knight-Captain Hell cannot use any kind of holy magic… To conclude, there is no possibility of him winning.”
I nodded and replied, “I know that, but he does not have to win. All I need is for you to train him so that he can stall for as long as possible.”
Judgment glowered and said in a disagreeing tone, “Knight-Captain Sun, you should know that your most important job now is—”
“Obtaining more followers!” I completed his sentence and then added seriously, “Believe me, I am pouring all the energy I have now into carrying out this job… But I can conveniently finish some other unrelated tasks at the same time.”
Judgment shot me a blank stare. Hey! After receiving this look, I realized that he had gone from the “business is business” Judgment Knight to my good friend Lesus, who will agree to do anything. He helplessly said, “I guess I can’t refuse, otherwise you will annoy me to death!”
Hee hee! I don’t mean to boast, but I am at my most patient when I need someone to do something for me. I remember that a long time ago I gave Lesus hourly reminders just to make him climb over the wall to buy blueberry pies for me. Please note that this meant saying, “Lesus, buy blueberry pies for me!” every hour, twenty-four hours a day, including at night.
But, thinking back now, I feel tremendously relieved. Luckily for me, Lesus finally surrendered and chose to climb over the wall to buy blueberry pies. He could have chosen to conduct a shocking midnight homicide. After murdering me with one slash of his sword, he could have climbed over the wall to get rid of the corpse, and that would have been the end of all annoyances…
“Since there are only two weeks left, the training should begin today.”
Judgment shook his head when he heard the words ‘two weeks’ and said, “One day I will lose control and chop you to death instead of complying with you.”
I immediately praised loudly, “No way, no way! Judgment, you are the nicest person in the world, even nicer than Leaf! You will definitely never chop your bestest best friend to death.”
“…Are you being sarcastic?” Judgment shot a look at me.
“That was a compliment!” I denied frantically. After coughing a few times, I pushed Elijah forward and reminded him, “Hey! Have you finished daydreaming? Judgment has already agreed to teach you sword skills, so why haven’t you thanked him?”
Elijah finally came to his senses and stammered, “D-Don’t you two hate each other…?”
I nodded and exclaimed, “That’s right! Let me introduce you to my good friend whom I hate the most, Lesus Judgment.”
“Good friend…whom you hate the most?!” Unsurprisingly, Elijah stared into empty space once more. It was obvious his brain had stopped functioning.
“Quit bullying him.” Judgment shook his head at my bad behavior and reminded, “Since we are aiming to stall for time, having Cloud Knight’s help would be killing two birds with one stone.”
“Cloud?”
I thought about it for a while, and then came to a sudden revelation. Immediately, I said, “No problem! I shall go look for him right away. Cloud is not only a member of the ‘good, warm-hearted’ faction, but he is also very obedient. All I have to do is order him to help out.”
Judgment nodded and began to size up Elijah, as if contemplating what training method to utilize… I briefly prayed for Elijah. Even though the way Judgment does things is totally fair (and he would not make things too difficult for Elijah on purpose), I have seen the training plan Judgment drew up for himself… I can only say that after that kind of training, anybody could become a master swordsman!
Who was it? Who secretly said “except for me”? I heard you!
“Cloud! Knight-Captain Cloud! Where are you?!” I shouted for Cloud as I walked. Although walking and yelling affects my graceful Sun Knight image, I didn’t have a choice!
This was the fastest way to find Cloud. Also, once everybody hears that I am looking for Cloud, they will forgive my inelegant hollering. This is because “everyone knows” that Knight-Captain Cloud is a wanderer and is as graceful as a cloud. It is said that he can be found drinking alone or reading books on windowsills, rooftops, under banyan trees, etc.
I cannot begin to guess how the old Cloud Knight drifted around gracefully. I only know that our Cloud is commonly found drifting here and there. Plus, his drifting ability is exceptional; he often drifts past my ear and I do not necessarily notice him… He is most commonly found in dark corners, behind dusty curtains in an attic, and in cabinets nobody has opened in years. In conclusion, I should just search for dark and damp places!
He usually hides in these dim places with a small holy light for illumination, reading books with titles like “How to Conduct Accurate Foretelling”, “The Ten Best Good Luck Spells”, and “Bringing Good Fortune and Staying Away from Bad Luck.” He would have a pot of unknown blackish, greenish, or reddish liquid beside him, but I never dared to ask him what they were.
As the Holy Temple is enormous, there are plenty of dark and damp places. It is nearly impossible to correctly guess which cabinet Cloud is hiding in.
Hence, the method everybody uses to find him—walking and shouting.
I searched for a long time and just happened to see Storm pass by. Surprisingly, he was only carrying about ten work documents, which was much less than usual. I knew that Storm could not possibly know which cabinet Cloud was hiding in, but being as exhausted as I was, I could not resist asking, “Brother Storm, may I inquire as to whether you are aware which direction Brother Cloud went after the meeting?”
Storm raised an eyebrow and answered my question with another, “Unless Cloud was standing in front of you, have you ever seen him?”
“No…”
I sighed. This fellow Cloud is just like a ghost. Not only does he love hiding in dark corners, he even walks using the special ‘Cloud Steps,’ which have been passed down through countless generations of Cloud Knights. The Cloud Steps, which were originally used to dodge enemy attacks, were now being used to avoid being seen… If he did not want to be found, you would have to grow a third eye in order to see him!
Storm nodded in agreement. Before I left, he commented, “Where do you usually see Cloud?”
Where do I usually see Cloud? I thought about it for a bit. In the meeting room? Nah, I did not really “see” him back there. In the hallways? Nope, I have never “seen” him in the hallways. Cabinets? No, No! Even if I found the right cabinet, I often cannot see through Cloud’s camouflage.
Wait! Actually, the place I usually find him is… A shiver ran down my spine. I shuddered and said, “Behind me…”
Storm nodded, and then pointed behind my back with his index finger. He left after that, minding his own business.
I waited some time before saying, “Cloud?”
“Here.”
He really is there… I turned around abruptly and, sure enough, I found Knight-Captain Cloud whose skin was even paler than mine due to long years without exposure to the sun. I did not know whether to laugh or cry. “When did you start following me?” I asked.
Cloud mumbled politely, “I happened to be in the bookcase next to the prayer room under renovation, and heard you as soon as you left and started shouting for me.”
“So you followed me all the way? Why didn’t you call out to me?”
Cloud murmured listlessly, “I called you many times, but you probably couldn’t hear me because your voice was too loud.”
“Next time just tap my shoulder!” I said impatiently.
“Okay.” Cloud nodded.
“Were you hiding in the cabinet again?” I complained. “Didn’t I tell you, cabinets are not meant for people to inhabit. You can read books in the reading room, or if you want to be alone, you can find an empty prayer room. As one of the Twelve Holy Knights, no one will object if you request for a private prayer room.”
Cloud shook his head vigorously and said, “I wasn’t hiding in the cabinet because you forbade me from hiding there.”
“Didn’t you just say you were hiding in the cabinet?”
Cloud shook his head again and said, “I was hiding in the bookcase.”
“…Is there a difference?”
Cloud tilted his head to one side, and then answered, “Cabinets have the musty smell of mold; bookcases smell like moths. Moths smell better.”
Normal people should dislike both smells, right? And since moths smell better, why hide in cabinets in the first place? I really cannot follow Cloud’s train of thought… Forget it! It’s fine as long as he is happy.
“Cloud, immediately report to Judgment Knight in the prayer room under construction and then follow his orders.”
“Okay.” Cloud nodded once more and then vanished like a ghost.
I nodded in approval. Although Cloud is a bit difficult to find, has a barely audible voice, a rather strange personality, and an odd way of thinking, he is very obedient. This obedience is his greatest virtue. He obeys all my commands without ever asking why.
“Sun!”
Without waiting for the person who shouted to reach me, I frowned and said, “Trouble?”
“How did you know?” Blaze screeched to a halt and gaped, eyes filled with suspicion as to whether I recently gained the ability of clairvoyance.
“Whenever you run toward me in a hurry, nothing good happens,” I explained gloomily. Didn’t Adair nearly die the last time this happened?
“So that’s how you knew…” Blaze seemed to suddenly realize what he was supposed to do and then began panicking once more. He hollered, “That’s not right! Why are we discussing this?! Your Sun Knight Platoon had a fight with the guys from the Monastery of the God of War. A bunch of them are injured, but thankfully no one’s life is in danger and they are all tending their wounds in the main hall now. However, the guys from the Monastery of the God of War are demanding that the Sun Knight Platoon be punished. It doesn’t make any sense! Where is the justice in beating each other up?! Their wounds are much lighter than the Sun Knight Platoon’s, so we should be the ones demanding compensation!”
I was outraged the moment I heard. My Sun Knight Platoon actually ignored my repeated warnings and went to pick a fight with such a strong enemy!
Were they going to anger me to death before they were satisfied?
When Blaze and I dashed into the main hall, we instantly saw the blood drenched members of the Sun Knight Platoon. I was so livid that I nearly scolded them in public. Luckily, Blaze pulled my sleeve and pointed at the Son of the God of War and his approximately fifty warriors in the middle of the hall. Only then did I restrain myself.
I smiled broadly as I walked past the injured Sun Knight Platoon and continued all the way to where the Son of the God of War was. Courteously, I said, “If Sun knew that the Son of the God of War was arriving, Sun would have personally welcomed your presence here in order to express the gracious hospitality of the God of Light. Since you are here, would you care for Sun to show you around the Church of the God of Light?”
The Son of the God of War’s lips twitched as he listened to me. He growled, “Stop talking bullshit. Sun Knight, your people beat up my people, and you, you…! Anyway, you need to account for this.”
My people beat up your people? I sneered in my heart. Not only were the Sun Knight Platoon’s injuries far more serious than his warriors, I am absolutely sure that under my teachings the Sun Knight Platoon would never pick a fight they could not win. Therefore, it isn’t hard to discern who started the fight!
I am 80% sure this was because Elijah and I were trying to snatch his princess. This made him furious. Since he could not take his anger out on Elijah or me (and would not dare touch the royal knights, because the royal knights belong to the King and not Elijah), he started a fight with my Sun Knight Platoon… Those bastards! Didn’t I recently tell them not to leave the Holy Temple? My words fell on deaf ears!
The moment I heard what the Son of the God of War said, I stopped smiling and said gravely, “Of course, as the God of Light teaches us, we should definitely not treat our guests with violence. Instead we should treat all things with the benevolence of the God of Light, as kindness will be repaid with kindness. Violence incites more violence and hate begets hate. No one likes to be treated with violence. Hence, we must first show our thoughtfulness and kind consideration. Only then will the other party repay kindness with kindness—”
The more the Son of the God of War listened, the deeper he frowned. At last, he grabbed his head as if he had a splitting headache and bellowed, “SHUT UP!”
I closed my mouth as he wished and smiled warmly at him.
Blaze mumbled from behind me, “Wow! I just had a big fight with this guy and not a single hair on his head was messed up. All Sun had to do was talk and he has a splitting headache.”
“Just tell me how you are going to punish them!” The Son of the God of War snarled. It looks like talking to me is more tiring than fighting with Blaze.
I spun about to face my Sun Knight Platoon and rebuked, “You actually treated our guests with violence? Have you forgotten that you are holy knights of the God of Light? Are you so selfish? Since you are so unwilling to be polite holy knights, I shall forbid the clerics from healing you. Go to the medical room and bandage up your wounds. After that, all of you report to the detention room. You have been grounded for a month!”
The members of the Sun Knight Platoon hung their heads in shame and slowly got to their feet. Some of the more seriously injured members needed support from others to get up.
Finally grasping the current situation, Blaze said anxiously, “Sun, there’s nothing wrong with putting them in detention, but at least let them seek healing from the clerics! Their injuries are too severe!”
“That is their punishment.” I said plainly, with no intention of retracting my orders.
The surrounding holy knights looked at the Sun Knight Platoon with sympathy and proceeded to glare at those from the Monastery of the God of War.
I turned to address the Son of the God of War just in time to see a satisfied grin spread across his face. The warriors behind him laughed out loud as the embarrassed members of the Sun Knight Platoon left the hall.
“I really look forward to the death match in two weeks. For the sake of the God of Light’s benevolence, I will be merciful.” The Son of the God of War’s teeth flashed as he beamed widely.
I smiled dazzlingly and replied, “Many thanks for your kindness.”
“Hahaha…” Everyone from the Monastery of the God of War laughed boisterously as they swaggered out of the Church without even saying a single ‘goodbye.’
Once the warriors of the Monastery of the God of War had left Blaze cautiously sized me up and whispered, “S-Sun? Now that they are gone, should I go look for some clerics to heal the Sun Knight Platoon?”
At one look from me, he instantly went quiet.
I strode quickly after the Sun Knight Platoon. Blaze hesitated for a bit then followed me. Although there were many medical rooms and I did not instruct the Sun Knight Platoon on which room to use, it was easy to find them. All I had to do was follow the trail of blood.
All the clerics, holy knights, and even the Twelve Holy Knights went pale the moment they saw me pass by. They even took steps to avoid me.
When I reached the medical room, I gently shut the door behind me. I then growled angrily at the Sun Knight Platoon, “You bastards, what have I taught you?”
All the members of the Sun Knight Platoon hung their heads, not daring to say anything.
I lost my temper and roared, “Didn’t I tell you before?! If you want to hit somebody, make sure he is at least two times weaker than you. If the opponent is almost as equally strong, never act unless the chance of winning is at least 200%. Didn’t I tell you to just tolerate it and report to me before starting a fight?”
“Captain, it’s not our fault! They wouldn’t let us walk away!” Ed answered in a subdued voice, as he held his bleeding left hand.
“Nonsense!” I rebutted. “If you really wanted to leave, how could they stop you in broad daylight? All the patrolling royal knights would have helped you deal with troublemakers like that.”
Ed howled, “B-but, we couldn’t just ignore them! They insulted you! If we just turned tail and ran, wouldn’t it confirm that they were right?”
There was an immediate uproar among those present and they all complained, “That’s right! They actually called you a spineless coward who relies only on his good looks!”
That means that I am very handsome! What’s there to be angry about?
“They said that holy knights were good-for-nothings, who could only take beatings. That’s too much!”
Err… Actually, they were not too far from the truth. Holy knights are best at defense and recovery. These two abilities combined make holy knights highly resilient, which means they are experts at getting beaten up!
“They even said that you don’t care about us. Even if they killed us, you would never dare touch them…”
Rubbish! If they dared to kill you, I would make sure they were all paralyzed for life!
It was this third statement that ultimately pissed me off. I made a solemn face as I listened to them complain and bandage their injuries at the same time. When they were about done, I ordered, “Report to the detention room.”
Hearing that they would still going to be detained, the Sun Knight Platoon looked at the ground miserably. Just as they were about to leave, there came a knock on the door.
“Who is it?” I scowled. Who would dare interrupt me while I was teaching my platoon members a lesson?
“Captain, it’s me, Adair.”
“You have guts to disobey me and get out of bed. Have you fully recovered?”
“I’m perfectly fine now, Captain.”
“Then come in.”
Adair fell to his knees the moment he entered and said guiltily, “Captain, if you insist on putting the Sun Knight Platoon in detention, then please lock me up too. This all happened because I, the Vice-captain, failed to train them well.”
I glanced at Adair. Since his movements seemed very smooth, his injuries were probably fully healed. Coldly, I said, “Very good! All of you, report to the detention room.”
Adair looked down, hiding his expression, and replied like usual, “At once.”
