“Of course not. I’m not worried at all. If you do something like that, I will make you regret it.”
“Then what is bothering you? Just tell me.”
After a short silence, Bina murmured, “You were joking because you really want to know?”
“Yup! I guess I can never fool you.”
Lucretius chuckled and after a brief hesitation, Bina finally said to him, “Well, of course, I can’t help but be worried… This is my first baby and my family aren’t here…”
“…”
Bina was about to continue when she suddenly noticed Lucretius stopped moving as if he was petrified.
She turned to Lucretius and warned him, “If you say you’re sorry about my family not being here, I will get angry again!”
“… I know.”
Bina remembered getting very angry at him after returning from Bilenae. They were talking about families, and at the time, Lucretius apologized to her for keeping her in this world. Bina became genuinely angry at him.
Her reasoning was simple. Bina didn’t feel the need to have his sympathy. It didn’t make sense for Lucretius to feel sorry or guilty. It was her choice. Lucretius, after hearing her reasons, respected her wishes.
He asked, “So, what is it that is worrying you so much?”
“Hmm…”
When Bina continued to hesitate, Lucretius whispered softly, “You need to share your worries with me. Your only family in this world is me, right? Of course, we will have another member very soon.”
Bina smiled lightly. “It’s nothing important. It’s just…”
“Just?”
Bina patted her grown belly.
“I’m just worried if I will be able to have this baby safely.”
“…”
“Even if the childbirth goes smoothly, will I be able to raise the baby well?”
When Lucretius remained quiet, Bina smiled awkwardly.
“It’s a silly worry, right? That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”
Lucretius shook his head. “What do you mean silly? Of course not! Anything involving you and our baby can never be silly.”
Bina smiled silently. It was a textbook answer, but it still made her happy to hear it. Lucretius always listened to her and respected her feelings. Talking to him always made her feel better.
She continued, “In my homeland, you can find out a lot about the baby before childbirth with tests.”
Lucretius looked confused. “How can you test a baby before it’s born?”
“Umm… It’s hard to explain, but there are ways. You can draw blood to test the baby’s health. There is also a thing called [ultrasound] that uses a special light to see the silhouette of the baby inside the womb.”
“A special light that can show you the unborn baby? Sounds like magic from old stories.”
It wasn’t exactly magic, but it probably sounded like it to people in this world. Bina didn’t bother to contradict him and instead continued, “It’s also frustrating to not know if it’s a boy or a girl.”
Lucretius’ eyes widened. “You can find out about the baby’s gender?”
“Yes. I heard doctors can tell you when you reach the fifth or sixth month.”
“How remarkable.”
Lucretius nodded and gently stroked Bina’s belly. She suddenly became curious.
“Would you want it to be a son or a daughter?”
He answered indifferently, “It doesn’t matter. I just hope the baby resembles you.”
Bina smiled but asked seriously again.
“But what about the matter of next heir? Wouldn’t it be better for it to be a son?”
Lucretius answered uninterestedly again, “It doesn’t make any difference. As soon as you have our baby, whether it be a girl or a boy, the princesses will automatically lose their places to the throne. We have nothing to worry about.”
There was another matter Bina had been worried about.
She finally asked, “But if it’s a daughter, there has never been a female ruler before in this kingdom. People will resist the idea.”
Unlike Bina’s worried voice, Lucretius’ voice was relaxed. “Well, there could be some issues, but I can make it work. It won’t be a problem.”
“Really?”
“Even if we have a son, there will be other problems along with it. Different problems, but problems nonetheless. You’ve seen how I got to where I am right now, right?”
“I… I guess.”
Bina’s heart felt a little lighter. It was true that no matter what, there will always be complications. It was illogical to worry about things that hadn’t happened yet. She couldn’t help but continue to worry, but she at least felt better.
Bina stood up and faced the man who was her husband and the father of her baby. She said to him determinedly, “Promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“If something happens to me during the childbirth…”
Bina couldn’t finish her sentence as Lucretius sharply interrupted her.
“Don’t say something like that.”
Bina shook her head. “No, I need to say it. I want to. Please listen. I’m not too worried about it, but I want you to know this.”
“Bina…”
Watching Lucretius’ face becoming pale, she felt guilty, but this was a necessary conversation.
Of course, there was a good chance that nothing bad would happen. However, unexpected things happened even in Korea. One just never know.
She needed to be prepared. She needed her husband to be prepared as well.
She continued, “Of course I don’t plan on anything happening.”
“Then…”
Lucretius obviously didn’t want to have this conversation. He looked at his wife and her belly anxiously. Bina gave him a confident smile.
“I can never let another woman have my man. You know I would never let that happen, right? I am a selfish woman.”
Lucretius finally smiled a little. “I know. You would never let anyone have what is yours.”
“Exactly. So… This is just in case. A very unlikely case, so please don’t think too much about it, but just listen.”
“… Tell me.”
After a brief hesitation, Bina placed her hand on top of his. His skin felt colder than usual. She could feel his anxiety.
Was this a bad idea? Shouldn’t she have brought up this subject? However, this was necessary. Preparation for the worst situation was the key to success.
Bina said to him, “If something happens to me during the childbirth, or before the baby grows up…”
Lucretius looked blank, making Bina feel heartbroken. She knew she was hurting him, but she couldn’t stop now.
“If that happens, I hope you tell him or her about me.”
“…”
“How I arrived here… Why I stayed here… And… how much I loved you and our baby.”
Just then, the baby started to move actively and kick hard.
As if it knew.
Lucretius pulled Bina towards him and hugged her.
She could hear his heartbeat. His warmth made her feel calmer.
Lucretius whispered gently but firmly, “I… I can’t make that promise.”
Bina quietly buried her face deeper into his embrace.
Lucretius continued, “… You tell our baby yourself.”
“…”
“I know how anxious you are right now, and that is the only reason why I am not yelling at you. I am doing my best to control my anger. Later… After the baby is born and grown, you can tell him or her about it. Where you came from and how you met me.”
Bina nodded. “Yes, I will. I know I will. I was just telling you this as an insurance.”
“…”
Lucretius’ sigh filled the room sadly.
