Chapter 40 – Reader: This close friend1 is troublesome.2
Du Ze was in a daze as he sat on a branch and stared at the lake below. He had asked Xiu to chat with him about life, and Xiu agreed. But now he has no clue how to proceed. For the silly, cute reader with an 8-year-old social barrier, to bring up the topic of the Moe Lord doing good deeds …
Please allow me to make a sad expression.
The two moons above occupied almost 1/5th of the sky. The moons were closer than he had ever seen before; they were almost touching each other. Because of this, the night scenery of the elven land was highly visible. The bright moonlight was shining down on the calm surface of the lake, making it look like sparkling white jade. The elven land was filled with magical mist. Under the dark night sky, the land glowed and looked like a magical, beautiful dream.
Even after several nights, Du Ze is still fascinated by the scenery. He can clearly see that the floating lights are actually glowing spores. The sap of the Tree of Life is a treasure of the elves. It cured not only his myopia, but also his hearing. The headphones had run out of charge and were in Du Ze’s pocket. Du Ze closed his eyes. He can hear leaves rustling in the wind and cloth flapping over the bark of the tree.
Du Ze turned to look and saw that Xiu had changed his clothes and was standing beside him. The silver-haired elf was wearing white and blue robes. His collar and cuffs were embroidered with a complex leaf pattern. Ornaments dangled from his belt. In the darkness, Xiu’s white skin was covered with a layer of warm light; this is the racial characteristics of elves.3 Du Ze felt that his extreme beauty is a sort of murder weapon. Right now the silly, cute Du Ze was so breathless he was about to die from lack of oxygen.
It should be illegal to be this beautiful! No wonder when Xiu transformed into an elf, even though he took the iceberg route and was cold and indifferent, everyone’s favorability towards him rose, no matter if they were male or female. This close friend of mine is troublesome!
Du Ze turned his head away. The branch trembled as Xiu sat down beside him. Together, they looked at the glowing lights and began their silent confrontation.
A silly, cute person’s heart is going to be injured. What should we start talking about? The elves’ pollution? But it was completely justifiable for Xiu to kill or pollute the elves… yet why pollute Ariel? Because Xiu and Ariel are not friends, when Xiu released the pollution he did not exclude Ariel – and so on. Du Ze thought about it and finally found out where the contradiction was: Xiu is the protagonist and Ariel is the female lead, therefore they will be together. But in reality, Ariel is just an ordinary elf to Xiu. But before, when Xiu heard Du Ze talking about Ariel, his rage was skyrocketing, wasn’t it?
“Are you angry?” Suddenly, Xiu spoke. “Because of what I did today?”
Du Ze reflectively shook his head but he realized that Xiu was looking straight ahead, so he said: “No, I’m just a little surprised.”
Xiu did not reply, as if quietly waiting for Du Ze to go on. Du Ze organized his thoughts and tried to express them to Xiu: “You know, I know a lot of things, whether it’s past, present, or future. There is something… I know about it, but don’t like it – I want to stop it.”
“Is it about me?”
“En.” (TN: sound of agreement)
Xiu paused then said: “You know I will do something in the future and you don’t want me to do that, right?”
Du Ze very much admired Xiu’s ability to grasp what Du Ze meant from the abstract words he had used. Once they started communicating, Du Ze found that talking to Xiu was not as difficult as he had imagined.
“Yes. I changed something, but got the same result.”
“There is something you don’t want me to do in the future.”
– Destroying the world.
Du Ze opened his mouth but an invisible force stopped him from speaking those three words. If you read the “Mixed Blood” novel, the inevitable ending is that the blackened protagonist will finally make his wish come true – to destroy the world that he finds repugnant. Whether or not the author will spare the sisters of the harem and the little brothers is still up in the air. According to this logic, “the destruction of the world” is the book’s main plot, so Du Ze is not allowed to tell Xiu: In the future when you are tired of this f**king world, you can still put away your weapon and become god!4
That being the case …
“Do you like this world?”
Xiu seemed to have no idea why Du Ze suddenly asked this. He was silent for a moment. Then, as Du Ze looked at him with eyes full of hope, Xiu shook his head.
You are so honest that it’s heartbreaking. Du Ze, holding the shattered pieces of his heart, heard the elf whisper softly: “Liking is irrelevant; I already gave up.”
Xiu did not clearly say what he gave up, but Du Ze understood completely. That sentence was like a blunt knife that repeatedly stabbed his heart. No blood was spilled but it made a person feel extremely pained.
– Because the world has given up on him, so he can only give up on the world.
That is how things will become worse in the future. This person can no longer look at the world without hatred, so all the beautiful things in the world cannot be reflected in his eyes. He can only remember how the world harmed him, so he will descend into a vicious spiral of hate.
Du Ze doggedly tried to persuade Xiu. He narrowed the scope: “There isn’t anything you want? Or a person that you like?”
Emotion finally appeared on Xiu’s normally calm face. Du Ze hurriedly struck while the iron was hot: “There is something you want so why not try and see more of the world.”
“You want me to like the world.” Xiu’s voice was flat, no emotion could be heard. But Du Ze felt that was only because all of Xiu’s emotions were deeply repressed. “Is that what you want of me?”
“En.”
Xiu was no longer looking at the floating lights. He turned his head to gaze at Du Ze, silent. He neither agreed nor disagreed with Du Ze. The wind lifted Xiu’s silver hair and Du Ze heard the beautiful elf say to him: “That song from before, do you want to hear me sing it to you?”
The pair of bright green eyes were on him. Du Ze involuntarily nodded. In fact, he really wanted to listen to it. Ever since the hot springs, whenever he mentioned the song, Xiu would change the topic, so the song has always been on his mind.
Xiu’s pale lips curved up in a wisp of a smile, making that beautiful, delicate face look even more mesmerizing. He stretched his hand to caress the back of the black-haired youth’s neck. His eyes were like deep green pools – once the prey fell into them, it was caught and Xiu would never let it break free.
“I can’t see the world.” Xiu’s clear eyes reflected Du Ze’s silhouette. “Du Ze, I can only see you. There’s only one thing that I want, one thing that I like.”
Xiu looked at Du Ze earnestly, unblinking, his eyes overflowing with strong, bottomless feelings.
“I like you. I want you.”
Du Ze’s thoughts were frozen.5
… I’m sorry, this young man’s Chinese teacher died early! Does the “like” that you said mean what I think it means? In fact, you are just expressing your wish to be friends forever, right?!
Even if Du Ze’s stiff face was impassive, Xiu could already see the silly, cute person’s essence. His voice was calm but his words thoroughly smashed Du Ze’s delusion.
“I want you to stay by my side. I want to kiss you. I want to strip off your clothes. I want to touch you, I want to-”
Du Ze coughed in embarrassment. He thought that if he didn’t stop Xiu from speaking, his next words will definitely be rated 18+. Forbidden! With a cold and aloof face you can say these shameless words?! Moe master, you, you are invincible – **** this young man was frightened out of his wits but was still so stimulated that he almost had a nosebleed!
“I think you may have been misled by some misinformation.” Du Ze precariously held onto his three views6 and carefully said: “Those things that you just said, they only happen between men and women.”
The “root of all evil” Doujinshi! You and this young man will perish together! If Xiu is bent, who would believe that you are not the evil mastermind behind it! Ah ****! QAQ
“I only want to do it with you.”
Du Ze was in a trance as he heard the sound of his three views being broken. His soul almost left his body but he redoubled his efforts: “That is just a misapprehension.7 I have been staying with you all this time so it seems as though we have become close but that is only an illusion.” Du Ze started diligently listing the sisters: “Violet, Alice, Heidi, and Ariel, they are very good and you will also meet more people in the future.”
So how can you, the cute Lord, give up the whole garden for a bit of dog’s tail grass?8 There is no future for gay lovers!
Du Ze felt Xiu’s hand on the back of his neck leave. Moe Lord, you are listening to my words, right?
“They are not you.” Xiu stared at his fingertips; he could still feel some of Du Ze’s warmth. “No matter how many people I meet in the future, they are not you.”
Not the man he met when he was abandoned.
Not the man who kissed the undead.
Not the man who said he was a miracle.
Not the man who protected him in his arms in the elemental storm.
Not the man who thinks all the good things in the world belong to him.
Not the man who saved him.
Not his Du Ze.
“If you reject me, too,” Xiu whispered, “the world is nothing to me.”
Even if you say that he was using a threat or say that he was despicable, he doesn’t care. All he wants is to keep this man by his side.
He’s afraid of losing this person because he is so eager to possess him.
“I-” Du Ze opened his mouth but this throat was tight, making his voice sound strangled: “Let me think about it?” For fear that Xiu will refuse right away, Du Ze hurriedly added a deadline: “One month, one month.”9
In the midst of the glowing lights in the air, Xiu stared at the black-haired youth, the object of his desires, and gently nodded his head.
“Alright.”
******
******
Will he be able to hold this man in his arms next month or will he have to lock this man in his prison?
If I can’t get his emotional response, I can only take away his body.
– [black box]
*******
The author has something to say:
The one month reprieve.
Reader: Protagonist, you are a close friend who brings trouble. QAQ
Protagonist: You are the only one I trouble. (touch).
***
Translator’s note: In the chapter title, Du Ze called Xiu 蓝颜 (lanyan). I translated it as “close friend” but actually this is a concept that is pretty complex. This refers to a human being’s “fourth emotion.” The other three emotions are 亲情 qīnqíng (blood), 友情 yǒuqíng (friendship) and 爱情 àiqíng (romantic love). The fourth emotion is hard to define but it’s “more than a friend, less than a lover.”
