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CHAPTER 496
He shook his head, wiped his tears away and went to have a clean bath to calm his head down.
He knew it was going to be hard for him to seep but perhaps this was going to help.
By the time he got out of his bathroom, what greeted him was the lovely hug from the body of one he had dreamed of for a very long time.
Shock enveloped his eyes at that very moment when the smell of her cologne hit his nostrils.
What was he thinking ending the call on her like that and she knew where he stayed.
The next thing that caught his ears were her silent sobs and he could feel just how hurt she was from the running liquid that flowed down his abdomen.
She was hurt beyond words. Never would he dream that he would hurt her like this.
"I hate you," she voiced out for the first time since she came.
"I know. I am horrible I know. And for that, I am so sorry, Qing Mei."
"Do not talk, do not apologize just hold me, please."
He need not for her to remind him about that, he was going to do so.
His whole body wanted him to but his head refused it. He needed to let her know his stand. He could not be bought by her tears unless she understood and was willing to choose him.
"Huizhong, hold me!" she wailed out next, shocking him and shocking herself.
His eyes widened from her yell but she did not pull back to look into his eyes, rather she tightened her grip on him, hugging him so tight.
"Qing Mei."
"Hug me, tell me you won't leave me. Tell me you won't ever leave me. Please."
"Qing Mei, I can't."
"You promised me before that you won't ever leave me, so why not?"
"I did but I would only stay on the basis that you admit what you feel. Why is it so hard?"
He sucked in a lung full of breath and placed his hands on her shoulders to pull her from the hug but she was reluctant.
Finally, he gave in and left her alone but he still did not hug her back which only frustrated the already angry and sad Bai Qing Mei.
"I am sorry. I cannot hold you nor pet you at this stage. Leave me be, Qing Mei. I have left you as well. You are free to go to Ye Cheng, no strings attached."
"No. I wang you."
"You are not sure. You do not know what you want actually."
"I do."
"And what is it? To have me and have Ye Cheng? Don't even dare say yes because at this point I am already mad at him for what he did to you. He ignored you and that was how I came in. I never should have because I only ended hurting you as he did."
"No, Huizhong, no."
"Bai Qing Mei, trust me on this. You need to take a break."
"I do not need a break Hao Huizhong. I need you."
Finally, she pulled back and looked him deep in the eyes. He could see how red her eyes and face had become, something he rarely got to see.
Her pain was cleverly and perfectly worn on her face now. She did not care about her health or anything nor how she looked.
Her hair was dishevelled, scattered like a mad girl. It just had to make him wonder just how many times she had pulled on her hair on her way here.
This was the girl he loved, in tears as though the world had ended.
"Hao Huizhong, I am sorry. Sorry for how I have acted and behaved all this while. Sorry for neglecting your feelings because I felt it was safer that way. Sorry for being so involved and yet absorbed by the thoughts of another. I know he won't love me, else he never would have waited for such a long time and just dated me out of compulsion."
"Qing Mei…"
He hated that she was saying this even though it was the bloodied truth.
"I am sorry that I became obsessed with him and against warnings, I still clung on. I am sorry for trampling on your feelings as though it meant nothing. It meant everything. I may not have realized it sooner but I can't stay without you. I am lost and scattered and frustrated when you are not by my side."
He felt his heart leap for joy at her confession. What were his ears hearing now?
"I need you by my side. I felt if I never admitted it, it was going to be safer than doing so. What if you abandon me, like Ye Cheng, no, not him, as my dad did? No. I can't bear it again."
"Qing Mei, I would never do that and you know it."
"But you were about to just now. You already have."
"No. I was tired of living under his shadow when you clearly loved me."
"I do, Hao Huizhong. I love you. I love you so much. So please do not go. Do not break my heart further. Do not. I do not want him anymore. I do not want Ye Cheng. It is you that I want. You and only you."
"As nice as it is for me to hear, but I doubt you are sure."
"NOO!!"
She broke down again, falling on her knees as more and more tears flowed out. Even more the wailing that followed almost deafened his eardrums. She screamed her heart out. Her hands moved quickly to her hair and pulled, held her head as more and more screams flowed out of her.
She was a wrecked up mess.
"Stop it. Do not go. Do not leave, please. I am sorry but please do not go," she pleaded yet again in a broken tone.
"I love you, Qing Mei."
"Then do not leave.. Please."
