Chapter 386: Noooooooo!
Translator: GodBrandy Editor: Kurisu
When they approached the location of the Chu Family, they found two clansmen guarding the entrance.
Since Soft Feather lived in the Chu Family for the past few days, the clansmen knew that she was Miss Chu Chunying’s friend and let her pass.
As for Song Shuhang, he asked, “Fellow Daoists, did you see a senior cultivator wearing white clothes and the talented Miss Chu Chu from your family come here earlier?”
The two guards scratched their heads in puzzlement and stared at Song Shuhang, “Senior Sister Chu Chu, what are you talking about? You’re indeed talented, but…” If you brag about it yourself, it’s a bit embarrassing!
“…” Song Shuhang.
F*ck, I forgot that I have Chu Chu’s appearance right now!
Sigh~ Anyway, from what the guards said, it seemed that Venerable White and Chu Chu didn’t come here. Did Senior White conceal his aura and directly barged into the Chu Family?
Given Senior White’s straightforward disposition, it was possible!
Thereupon, Song Shuhang and Soft Feather entered the territory of the Chu Family together, heading toward the place Chu Chunying arranged for Soft Feather to stay.
On the road, they chatted about a few matters.
“Right, Soft Feather. Did you receive a gift from Senior White earlier?” Song Shuhang asked since he saw Venerable White write the words ‘Spirit Butterfly Island’s Soft Feather’ on one of the gifts.
“I didn’t receive anything.” Soft Feather shook her head.
“Strange, Senior White clearly sent you a gift,” Song Shuhang muttered. Then, he laughed and said, “It’s a good thing that you didn’t receive it. Otherwise, you would have turned into a meteor like the seniors of the Nine Provinces Number One Group did today, forming a meteor shower.”
“Eh?” Soft Feather quickly turned her head and stared at Song Shuhang. “Senior Song, did you just say that I was supposed to be part of that meteor shower?”
“Correct! What an awful experience by the way! Ascending to the sky with the coiling flight feature, flying with all kinds of weird and scary patterns, not to forget that meteor-like effect, as well that landing style you saw earlier. The seniors of the Nine Provinces Number One Group made several holes in the ground before the Grievance Settling Platform due to that landing style. Moreover, I personally saw Senior Seven and Senior Copper Trigram ascend to the sky amidst blood-curdling screams,” Song Shuhang said while still having a lingering fear.
“Coiling flight feature, weird flying patterns, meteor-like effect, explosive landing…” Soft Feather said softly. Soon after, she clenched her fists and said, “Just thinking about it… makes me feel excited.”
“What?” Song Shuhang thought he misheard.
“Dammit, why did all the seniors receive the gift when I didn’t! I also wanted to coil my way toward the sky, fly with weird patterns, and change into a meteor! I was even prepared to go into space!” Soft Feather said with an aggrieved expression on her face as she poked her index fingers against each other.
“…” Song Shuhang.
Originally, he thought that Soft Feather was someone relatively normal amidst the Nine Provinces Number One Group and that her train of thought was on the same wavelength of his… but he didn’t expect that she was actually the most abnormal one of all!
While chatting, the duo headed toward the depths of the Chu Family. The residence Chu Chunying arranged for Soft Feather was precisely her own dwelling, which was situated in the inner part of the Chu Family.
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In the meanwhile, in front of the Grievance Settling Platform.
Elder Jian Yuanhai of the Illusory Sword School and Chu Kangbo from the Chu Family were standing in front of each other. Jian Yuanhai was holding his sword tightly while staring at Chu Kangbo.
His opponent seemed to be seriously injured; perhaps he still had a chance to win!
Below the platform.
The seniors of the Nine Provinces Number One Group managed to stop Venerable White from disassembling the missile with much difficulty, promising him many things in exchange… for example, they promised they would let him visit some of their companies abroad that were manufacturing ammunition and the likes.
Only then were they able to make Venerable White forget about the missile.
Thereupon, since he had nothing to do, Venerable White borrowed Northern River’s Loose Cultivator’s laptop. Since he was the always online holy warrior of the Nine Provinces Number One Group, Northern River still had the laptop with him when he was coiled toward the sky and brought here.
After borrowing the computer, Venerable White took out what resembled a USB flash drive made of wood and inserted it into the computer.
After that, Venerable White swiftly moved his fingers and started to operate the laptop.
The nearby Yellow Mountain, Lychee, Doudou, and Northern River decided to take a look at the screen, curious as to what Venerable White was doing.
As soon as he saw the pictures on the screen, Doudou couldn’t contain himself. “Pfffff~”
On the screen, Venerable White opened several files one after another.
There was the scene of True Monarch Ancient Lake Temple madly screaming while ascending to the sky… there were the blurred pictures of Fairy Lychee wearing nothing but a sexy nightgown… there was the scene where Fairy Dongfang was still dancing while she ascended to the sky, her expression both terrified and angry… there was the scene where Yellow Mountain was calmly holding his rice bowl while flying… as well as the scene of Cave Lord Snow Wolf bathing the small snow wolf, and next was the scene where he was shedding tears while spinning in the sky… the scene where Northern River’s Loose Cultivator nasal mucus and saliva were spurting all over… as well as the scene where True Monarch White Crane was flying with its true form revealed—since it was quickly spinning while flying, its neck had tied itself like a knot.
Then, there were some pictures were a stark naked Thrice Reckless Mad Saber was tightly embracing Scholar Drunken XXX (unfortunately, the members of the group couldn’t remember his name at the moment). The two of them were hugging each other while drilling through the ceiling of the immortal cave.
Next was the scene where Thrice Reckless Mad Saber was tearing the clothes of the scholar while flying the sky with the ‘windmill’ flight pattern. This scene was so beautiful that it could permanently blind whoever saw it.
Venerable White calmly dragged the pictures to the interface of an ’emote generating program’, pressing the confirmation button.
Afterward, he chose each person’s worst pictures, where they were scared the most and tears were flowing at high speed, and put them in the ‘GIF generating program’, pressing the confirmation button again.
“Senior White, don’t do it!” Thrice Reckless Mad Saber roared!
“Senior White, don’t do it!” Scholar Drunken XXX also bellowed.
“Senior White, don’t do it!” Fairy Lychee pounced toward Senior White.
“Senior White, don’t do it! Please, stop!”
“Don’t do it… stop!”
“Senior White, STOP!” This was True Monarch White Crane’s scream. That picture where its neck had twisted until becoming a ‘fried dough twist’ was just too embarrassing!
The camp of the Nine Provinces Number One Group was immediately thrown into confusion. All the members of the group pounced toward Senior White, trying to steal the laptop and stop him from what he was doing.
“Hehehe…” Venerable White turned his head around and coldly smiled at the fellow daoists from the Nine Provinces Number One Group. They wanted to steal the laptop? In their dreams. After all, he was a Seventh Stage Venerable!
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A few seconds later…
All the members of the Nine Provinces Number One Group were lying on the ground like dead dogs!
Venerable White pressed the confirmation button with a content expression on his face. Then, he uploaded the expression compilation of his fifty fellow daoists in the group space of the Nine Provinces Number One Group.
“Hmm, this expression package is a bit too rough. Later, I must post on a specialized forum and have them beautify it a bit,” Venerable White muttered.
What? Senior White wanted to look for a specialized forum that would help him ‘beautify’ the expression package? Wouldn’t that mean that the expression package would spread from the group to the whole Internet?
They absolutely couldn’t let that happen! It was too disgraceful! How could they show their faces around if the expression package were to spread in the entire world of cultivators?!
“Senior White, you can simply let Soft Feather fix the expression package! She seems very skilled in this field.” True Monarch Yellow Mountain stretched out his trembling hand and gave the thumbs up. At this time, he had no choice but to sell his teammates in order to save them.
Venerable White held his chin and said, “Alright, let’s discuss it later.”
True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s arm fell down weakly… Brothers, I’ve done everything in my power!
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In the meanwhile, Song Shuhang and Soft Feather approached the core area of the Chu Family.
But right at this time, Soft Feather suddenly covered Song Shuhang’s nose and mouth.
Next, she quickly pulled him backward and retreated several meters before stopping.
Soft Feather’s strength was as incredible as always. Although he advanced to the Second Stage Realm, Shuhang wasn’t able to resist in the slightest and was easily pulled back.
“Did something happen?” Song Shuhang asked with difficulty since Soft Feather was covering both his nose and mouth.
“There is a weird fog ahead. Even cultivators with their Nose Aperture open are unlikely to discover it. Not only that, even cultivators of the Third Stage would quickly faint after inhaling it. Luckily, my father trained me beforehand, and I’m thus very keen toward these things.” Soft Feather furrowed her brows.
If the daughter wanted to roam the world, a good father would train her to gain resistance against anesthetics and similar things. It was one of the most important things!
For example, certain fathers would accompany their daughters for a drink to test their capacity for alcohol. The next day, they would gently remind the daughter: ‘Daughter, you shouldn’t drink more than you can handle. Since daddy can’t accompany you all the times, you must remember how much alcohol you can hold and don’t let bad guys get you drunk!’
Unfortunately, many fathers tried to follow the example just to end up faintly hearing the daughter valiantly say after the third cup: ‘Eeeeh? Father, your capacity for alcohol is so bad! Boss, give me two more bottles of white liquor!’
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“Fog?” Song Shuhang grabbed his treasured saber Broken Tyrant, asking, “Can the Turtle Breathing Technique help counter the effects of the fog?”
Since it was a fog that took effect after it was inhaled, not breathing should solve the problem, right?
“Eh? Senior Song studied the Turtle Breathing Technique as well?” Soft Feather said, somewhat surprised. Was it possible that Senior Song was too lazy to breathe like her senior brother and hence had decided to study the Turtle Breathing Technique?
“Ah, yes… it’s a painful but also interesting memory.” Song Shuhang recalled his trip to space from the previous time.
Soon after, he stretched his hand out and drew the runes of the Turtle Breathing Technique on his palm.
And just like this, he used the Turtle Breathing Technique both on himself and Soft Feather.
Now that he was a Second Stage True Master and could use true qi to engrave the runes, the results were much better than when he was using qi and blood energy. Moreover, it felt that Turtle Breathing Technique could last for a lot longer.
“Let’s go take a look at the inner part of the Chu Family,” Soft Feather said impatiently. Her adventurous soul was already on fire…
