Emmelyn tried to smile and looked okay when her husband bid her goodbye. He climbed on his horseback, followed by Gewen and two dozen of his most loyal knights. They all looked so imposing and impressive.
Elmer The Wizard didn't look less capable compared to the young people around him. He wore a long grey cloak and his white long hair was fluttered by the wind, while his expression looked solemn.
Everyone in the courtyard showed great respect for this old wizard. Bruinen followed behind him.
All 28 men nodded their heads in respect toward the king and the queen who stood still in front of the palace courtyard and got ready to leave.
"Goodbye. We will be back as soon as possible," Mars said firmly. He saw Emmelyn forced a smile and his heart ached for her.
They had made love to vent their longing for each other before his departure, as soon as they got Emmelyn settled in his old chamber and the queen left them.
It was not nearly enough, but at least he could feel content that they confessed their love for each other and showed it by making a sweet love before he went.
"Take care…" said Emmelyn. She bit her lip and pretended she looked okay. Mars smiled at her reassuringly and nodded.
"I will. You too, honey."
"Yes…" Emmelyn replied with an almost inaudible voice.
Finally, the small group strode their horses and left the royal palace. Once they passed the gate, Emmelyn quickly ran toward the highest tower and looked at the departing group from the window at the top.
At least, from this height, she could see her husband and his entourage until they were really far, and finally, she lost them from her sight.
Tears slowly dripped down from her eyes. This time, she didn't pretend to be strong and fine. She sobbed uncontrollably and cupped her face with both hands.
***
The first night she stayed in Mars' old chamber, Emmelyn couldn't sleep. It was quite unusual for her because normally, she was such a good sleeper.
Then, she realized that it might be due to the fact that she was not in her own home.
The castle where she had lived for over six months had felt like a real home to her. Especially after the prince let her do whatever she wanted with it and made it more homely, fit for a princess.
Now, in the royal palace, she was feeling like she was in the enemy's nest. She and King Jared still didn't get along and the only thing that kept them civil with each other was the sweet queen.
Without Queen Elara, Emmelyn felt like she was staying with the enemy. It was hard to feel calm and at home. This uneasiness affected her ability to sleep.
She tried to avoid the king by dining in her chamber and spent as much as time on her own. Fortunately, the chamber was designed to provide everything she would ever need.
She spent a lot of time sewing or reading and watching the huge garden from her big windows. Sometimes she would talk to Harlow, as if her baby could hear her.
Surprisingly, talking to Harlow really made a difference. She could feel such a strong connection with her child and after three days, Emmelyn could slowly get over her loneliness and sadness.
Queen Elara tried to spend as much time as possible with Emmelyn. She would invite her daughter-in-law to have tea with her every afternoon. They would talk over trivial matters, or about Mars when he was younger, about Emmelyn's childhood and her family.
In the beginning, it was a bit awkward when they started talking about Wintermere and the Rosehill family.
The fact that the Strongmoors were responsible for the demise always became like the elephant in the room that made the conversation stopped and then they had to quickly change the subject.
However, after one week of avoiding the topic, finally, both women realized they had to start talking about Emmelyn and her family. The queen had shared everything she could share about her son. And it was time to know more about Emmelyn.
So, after a period of awkwardness, finally, they could slowly talk about Emmelyn's parents and siblings. It took them three days to finally be able to get past the awkwardness and slowly open up more.
"Oh.. so you have six siblings?" The queen pressed her lips in surprise when she heard from Emmelyn that she had three older sisters and three older brothers.
The queen looked a bit sad all of a sudden. She was reminded of her two stillborn babies and two infants who passed away before they reach the age of five.
Ah.. if only she was as lucky as the queen of Wintermere, she could see her children alive and grew up to adulthood. Now, she only had one.
"Yes, Queen Mother, that's right. I have six older siblings," Emmelyn replied with a smile. She remembered getting the same reaction from Mars months ago when she told him about her family for the first time.
He looked so jealous. Now, Emmelyn could see a similar expression on the queen's face. This made her wanted to laugh. Ahh.. really like mother, like son. Mars and his mother were truly alike.
"How did it feel like, growing up with many siblings?" The queen asked her with interest.
Emmelyn pursed her lips and tried to remember all the downsides of having many siblings. She didn't want to make the queen feel even sadder by thinking of all the what-ifs.
What she did was similar to what Athos did when Mars asked him what it felt like to be a father. Athos, who thought Mars still couldn't touch women and thus couldn't have offsprings, intentionally only said the bad things.
He said things like how babies kept the parents awake at night and lose precious sleep, babies were so boring because they couldn't do or say anything, and how they, as parents had to deal with poops and piss day in day out.
"Hmm.. it's not fun," Emmelyn said with a long sigh. She loved her parents and her siblings, but today she would try to focus on all the bad things she experienced from being a child of a big family.
"How is it not fun?" Queen Elara furrowed her brows. She couldn't imagine having many brothers and sisters was not fun. She was an only child herself and so, she understood the loneliness that her son was experiencing.
She saw how Gewen and Edgar had a beautiful childhood and they grew up in a happy family. Gewen had two sisters and Edgar had two brothers and two sisters. The bigger the family, the happier they seemed to be.
"Well.. my mother spent the first ten years of her marriage by being pregnant and giving birth, and then caring for small children," Emmelyn explained. "It took its toll on her body and her health…"
[And maybe on her sanity too.]
Emmelyn sighed. Her mother was a cold person. She was barely there for her children and Emmelyn, not only had to compete with her sisters for her attention, but was also often blamed for their mother's ailing health.
"Oh.. I am sorry to hear that," said the queen sympathetically. She realized that woman's body was fragile and giving birth to one child alone was already a fight between life and death.
So, now she could imagine how exhausted Emmelyn's mother was, having to give birth to seven children in such a short span of time.
"My mother's health worsened after my birth," Emmelyn admitted. "She couldn't spend a lot of time with us. She must focus on our father and her own health. Actually, even though I grew up with many siblings, I often felt lonely. Sometimes I wished I was an only child…"
She laughed bitterly. What she was saying was the truth. But she still felt guilty for even thinking about it.
"Oh.. my child," Queen Elara wiped her teary eyes and immediately hugged Emmelyn. "You are not alone anymore. I hope you won't ever feel lonely again."
Emmelyn felt her knees turned weak. The queen was really like the mother she had always dreamed of. She felt loved and adored by her mother-in-law.
After a few seconds of being in a daze, she hugged the queen back and closed her eyes.
Yes, she wouldn't feel lonely anymore. Not only she had a mother that loved her, she also had a husband who doted on her. And soon, Harlow would be here too.
"I know, Mother," she whispered hoarsely. "Thank you for accepting me, and thank you for giving birth to my husband and raising him to be a wonderful man. I am forever grateful."
After that day, Emmelyn's and the queen's relationship became so close that the queen stopped inviting her ladies-in-waiting to the royal palace. She couldn't have enough of spending time with Emmelyn and Harlow.
***
"Queen Mother, we've got a letter," Emmelyn entered the queen's lounge with a beaming face. She just received a letter sent by Mars from Branwell. Her husband had been away for two weeks and this was his second letter.
Queen Elara looked up and smiled broadly. She patted the couch next to her and motioned Emmelyn to sit beside her.
"Come sit here. Let's see what he wrote this time," Queen Elara said excitedly.
Emmelyn took two small papers from the rolled parchment and gave one with red string to the queen, and she took the other one with a blue string.
Mars already promised to send one letter for his mother and another one for his wife. He used the strings to mark which letter was for whom.
Both women read their letters together and it became a sweet experience that they shared together.
