Translator: Cheese
Proofreader/editor: Piper
Bai Weiwei replied without thinking: “Yah, yah. Wait, 15 days?”
Not a month?
The extension was cut in half. Was this system corrupt?
The system took out a calculator and said: “While you had leukemia, you used 17 bottles of painkillers, 3 energy-boosting pills, 6 transparent face masks for a
look-beautiful-without-makeup effect, and 1 tube for a fluttering long hair effect. In total it cost 11 days and 23 hours of life.”
Bai Weiwei was shocked. “Why didn’t I know I used these? You didn’t even tell me.”
The system flipped through the collection folder. “I was afraid that if I told you, you wouldn’t buy it.”
Bai Weiwei, coldly: “Do I look like such a cheapskate? I’m going to spend a lot of it.”
System: “It’s not a matter of pettiness. It’s a reminder, to hurry the customer.”
Bai Weiwei frowned. “A reminder?”
Why would this thing be in a rush?
When the system saw she didn’t believe it, it immediately cleared its voice, and began to sign deeply. “Ding, dear host, you were in so much pain that your eyes turned white and your legs were twitching and shaking, like a grass mud horse1 running on the prairie, dancing in the wind. Do you need painkillers?”
Bai Weiwei: “…”
The system continued to be emotional, its voice slowly becoming magnetic. “Ding, dear host, you are so, so ugly. Ugly enough to break the limits of human imagination, ugly enough to pass the light of the universe. You’re ugly, patriotic and dedicated, with iron bones. Do you need a face mask? It’s good results. I’ll give you 6 for the price of 3.”
Bai Weiwei: “…” 6.
The system shouted, “Ah, you haven’t washed your hair for 3 days, didn’t wash your scalp for 6 days, didn’t wash for half a month, didn’t wash for a whole year. Long fluttering hair agent, 1 tube for 1 year. Dear host, please buy immediately within 3 seconds to buy some hemorrhoid cream.”
Bai Weiwei: “Buy your sister, scram!”
The system helplessly spread its hands: “You don’t believe it.”
Bai Weiwei: “No. Where are the other 3 hours?”
The system wiggled, its voice coaxing: “That, I bought some melon seeds.”
Bai Weiwei was unable to make heads or tails of what it said. “Melon seeds?”
What snacks needed her life to buy? God’s food?
The system coughed twice. “The host’s wish has been fulfilled and will wake up immediately.”
Bai Weiwei spun around, her eyes heavy and frightening.
She gasped, and opened her eyes, and found she wasn’t in the hospital.
She was tied to a car’s driver’s seat. The car was sailing at an alarming speed.
The car was driverless, with Bai Weiwei tied to the driver’s seat. There was a cliff ahead, with the sea below it.
For a while, Bai Weiwei was unable to react to the situation.
She shouted, “F*ck! Help me!”
The system dug into its ears. “You’ve hurt your throat. Nobody can hear you.”
Bai Weiwei couldn’t stand it. “Why do I wake up in situations like these all the time?”
Last time I was poisoned, this time it’s a car accident.
Was she just destined to die?
The system cleared its throat and began to sing loudly. “Ding! Host, are you at the crossroads of your life, wandering? Do you have a slight injury, but still look at poetry and distance? Were you tied to a big hairy crab, hung in a car worth 100,008-yuan? Are you looking for your ideals in the direction of the sea? A full-range protective shield for only 15 days. Do you want to die or do you want to live, ah?”
Bai Weiwei: “I want to die.”
1: this is a sound-a-like word to a cuss word that chinese people use to get past the anti-cursing software in group or game chats, much like the english equivalent of ‘fudge’. I think the system is making a poem and using these words to put an extra punch in his words XD ↩
Cheese: Sigh, this was literally the hardest chapter I’ve come across so far. Apologies for any confusion, but I’m just as lost as you LOL WHY DOES THE SYSTEM TALK LIKE THIS!?
Piper’s corner: I agree, the conversations are my favorite because they go by fast, but at the same time I hate them because they can be so confusing!
