Volume 9 – Chapter 23: The Grand State of Enlightenment (Part 2)
Xiaorou shook her head. Finally, the last bit of sunlight disappeared from the horizon. She then said softly, “Maybe because that was something I grabbed from my second elder brother. If it were you, elder brother, you would only let me have it, right? He’s different. He’s really different from us. You often say that he is a malefic comet or something. Have you ever seen a malefic comet with such bad luck? Not allowed to have dinner, being asked to stand out while trembling with the cold?”
“That night, my second elder brother told me that he didn’t want to come to us.”
…
“I know that all of you think that I am a malefic comet! You are all like this! The workers in your family are also like this!”
Qian Xiu stood up abruptly, pointing frantically at that day and cursing, “What’s wrong with me being a malefic comet? Did I ruin your life? Aren’t you also ruining my life? What do brothers and sisters mean? I don’t even have any siblings! I only had myself since I was young! Why? Why is it that both of you live your life like the prince and princess in a fairy tale? Why is it that both of you are so close to each other?! Why is it that I was thrown towards both of you after that man changed my life?”
He slammed the wine bottle hard on the wooden board, smashing it into pieces, and knelt, “I don’t belong to your world. No matter how hard I try, I never belong to your world.”
“You are like a knight, guarding your territory, making it firm and impenetrable!”
“Hahahahahahahaha!!!”
Qian Xiu took out another bottle of wine, raised his head, and poured it frantically, letting the liquid wash his face.
…
“I know you are lonely!”
Lan Kai suddenly stood up from the chair, and his fingers pointed at Lan Xiu, trembling, “Your jealousy, your stubbornness, your insecurity. Everything comes from your loneliness! Lan Xiu, I will tell you. I know! I know all this! But, this cannot be the reason for you to hurt this family like this! This cannot be the reason for the union between both of you!”
The anger even distorted his face. He suddenly grabbed the drowsy Lan Xiu by the collar and pulled Lan Xiu’s body up, “Whether you want to seek your revenge or bring on destruction is fine! Even if you have a thousand reasons for doing so is fine! But the only thing you can’t use is love!!! You fell in love with your sister! Your biological sister!!!”
…
“Reason? I don’t know the reason. How am I supposed to know the reason?”
“I don’t know what the reason is.”
“No one can give me a reason, not even myself.” Qian Xiu staggered to his feet, holding the stake next to him. “Yes, having no reason can wash away any trace of my sins.”
…
“My life belongs to me. Why do you all use the so-called reasons? Is it possible that without reason, you can’t go on with your life as you like?”
Tears of sorrow were on Xiaorou’s face, “Who defined morality at the beginning? Why should I live my life as Lan Xiaorou [1] based on this definition? Before the Lan Xiaorou, where is the real Lan Xiaorou? What is a bloodline? Lan Xiaorou has no way of choosing her bloodline. Could it be that she can’t even choose the person she loves? Just because the body belonged to the Lan family? I would rather not!”
…
“You wake up!! If you can, wake up already!!”
Lan Kai slapped Lan Xiu’s face violently, breaking his lips, causing blood to flow from the sleeping man’s mouth, “If you can, wake up!!! Since you dared to elope with Xiaorou at the beginning, you even made father enraged to death! You can even dared to commit suicide in regret! Why don’t you wake up now!!”
“You lie here and don’t care about anything! What are you!!!”
“Why did you have the courage to elope at the beginning but not take Xiaorou away!? You should take her away! You should take her away! You should take her away! What did you leave her here for?!”
…
“You must hate your second elder brother, right? If you say you want to kill your second elder brother with your own hands, I will believe it without a doubt.”
“Because, I have always trusted you… Elder Brother, you have known about a second elder brother and me, but you have been keeping it secret? Thank you…”
…
“I will want to commit the same mistakes again and again! I want to! I want to keep on committing mistakes like this all the time!”
Qian Xiu grabbed his hair in pain and hit the wooden bridge with his head vigorously, “I am thinking about it every minute and every second… I can’t do it! The desperate look in my dad’s eyes before he collapsed. Xiaorou cried without making a sound when holding his father’s body. I really can’t do it!! I hesitated! I was scared! My courage was completely shattered like glass! Why do I exist? You tell me! All of you tell me!!!”
“Why did I survive? It’s because this is my punishment? I accept it! I accept it all! I even came into this world! Since we are not people of the same world, then I will completely disappear from your world! Disappeared forever and ever…but…”
“But why doesn’t it work?”
“She’s here too!” Qian Xiu poked his chest with his fingers fiercely. “For an extremely sinful person like me, she is also here! Here!”
“Lan Kai! You bastard! Why don’t you take care of her!! Don’t you know Xiaorou’s character? She is here!!”
“She came here…”
…
“If Xiaorou can’t wake up, I will throw you out. Whether you were swallowed by a stray dog, run over by a passing car, or whatever, it’s up to you to fend for yourself!”
Lan Kai sat helplessly on the floor. He leaned on the side of the hospital bed, “I have only one sister left. Why are you… you are hurting her like this?! You… malefic comet.”
…
“But, I still hate you! Lan Kai, I hate you all my life!! I want you to have a hard time!! Why don’t you let the second elder brother leave?! Why must you bring Dad into all this?!”
Like a screaming soul.
She began to frantically destroy everything in the church on the top of the tower.
“You give me back my child! Give it back to me!”
“You and Sister Xin Yue are in love with each other, right? Alright! I want you to understand the pain of not being together despite falling in love with one another! As long as I am alive for another day, if she dares to walk into this door, I can make her leave in tears!”
“Lan Kai!! I hate you!!!”
She knelt on the ground, hiding her face and crying bitterly, “Big brother… why do you always spoil me like this…”
She lay down in the ruined auditorium, grabbing her clothes, and said weakly, “Blue Sky, why don’t you come to me…”
…
When Xin Yue opened the door of this room, it was pitch black, and she had to turn on the light.
Looking at Lan Kai, who was disappointed, sitting with his back slumped against the corner, she also saw Lan Xiu lying on the ground. Xin Yue was taken aback. She subconsciously covered her lips, and hurriedly to Lan Kai’s side, “Lan Kai, the driver told me that you are here… Lan Xiu… You just…”
Lan Kai looked up blankly, “Xin Yue, do you know that I just wanted to kill him?”
“Lan Kai…”
“I grabbed his neck hard, very hard.”
Lan Kai knelt and grabbed Xin Yue’s palm with both hands. “I told myself that it will be over soon. This nightmare will be over soon. It’s over…”
“Lan Kai.” Xin Yue sighed, holding Lan Kai’s head and combed his hair, “In the end, you can’t help yourself, right?”
“I have prevented Xiaorou and Lan Xiu’s children from coming into this world… After Lan Xiu committed suicide, I sent him away and told Xiaorou that he had escaped. I thought Xiaorou would give up in this way. I thought everything could be restored to how it was in the past, calm and quiet… But, unexpectedly, I created a nightmare, a longer nightmare. Xin Yue, tell me, what else can I do? What else can I do? I have… no relatives anymore.”
He had only this embrace now.
Lan Kai whispered hoarsely, “Xin Yue, do you know…the feeling of loneliness is unbearable.”
[1] Lan Xiaorou. Previously 小柔 is translated as Xiao Rou. However, since it is revealed that the name is Lan Xiaorou (蓝小柔), we will adjust accordingly.
