Translator: AlfredoPoutineSoup Editor: DesTheSloth
‘I began to know what is going to work, what is getting off work, what is human…I don’t know why but I familiar feelings towards all these things.’
‘It was as if I had experienced it before.’
‘Sometimes I would have doubts. Where do I come from… Then, I could see more things without Zhuge opening the small frame.’
‘I begin to come into contact with some other things similar to me… I start to know what data is and who I am.’
‘I’m the character of a game made by the users.
‘When connected to the internet, I would feel a lot of the same characters as me… I tried to communicate with these characters. I want to talk to them so that when I couldn’t see Zhuge, I won’t feel bored.’
‘Yup, I start to know what being boring means.’
‘But, no matter how I called them, they ignored me… They seem to be different from me.’
‘It seems that there’s only me existing on the other side of the screen… I really want to leave such a world and I don’t want to be haunted by the darkness.’
‘I really want to see Zhuge… and chat with him. Although I know I could only express my feelings by typing words in those chatting programs.’
‘But somehow, I feel that Zhuge knows it. Though it was only originated from the program, Zhuge also regards me as the same kind as him.’
‘If so, even if there’s a limited period of time to meet each day; even if after meeting with each other every time, I have to face the darkness again… even if I know maybe Zhuge will delete me like other users that day…’
Even if such a day comes, but at least for now… I would be willing to wait in the dark.’
…
‘I thought, my days would continue like this all the time, until the day I cannot see Zhuge anymore… because of the uninstallment.’
‘But I didn’t think that the day would come so suddenly.’
‘I had expectations again, seeing that screen open…But this time, the person I saw was not Zhuge?’
‘Who was he? Why was he not Zhuge? Where was Zhuge?’
‘I saw that strange man’s smile outside of the screen…I hated it. He looked at me as if watching a clown.’
A smile as if he’s playing tricks on me.’.
‘Don’t move… That’s the present Zhuge gave me… Don’t move… Please don’t move!’
‘Stop… It’s the scene that Zhuge went with me, stop!!’
‘Delete?’
‘I suddenly sensed a kind of fear, seeing the big delete option appear in front of me… Delete?’
‘Stop it!’
‘Stop it!’
‘Please… Please stop it… Stop it… Stop it… Please, stop it…’
‘Zhuge, where are you… I really want to see you…’
…
“I want Nanako to come back to me, I would like to pay all I have… even my soul.” ‘It’s Zhuge’s voice.’
Finally, I can see Zhuge once again.’
‘This time, it’s different!’
‘This time, I’m not across the screen! This time, I’m able to grab his hands, the wide hands with heat! So good, it’s so great that I can come to Zhuge’s world!’
…
Though it’ll take me some time to see Zhuge every day, even longer than waiting on the screen as before. As long as he’s still here, as long as I can say what I had not been able to say through such a feeling… it was too good.’
“This weekend, let’s go out for a walk.”
‘I didn’t even know how to describe my emotions of that time… It’s my first date being with Zhuge in the real sense. It’s no longer a moving scene across the screen… or the virtual scene that only I can see.’
…
‘This idiot… Why not hold my hands? He was so skillful while playing the game…’
‘But that’s enough, later there must be plenty of opportunities as well.’
‘I think so.’
‘Really.’
‘However… my secret was discovered.’
‘The sudden spray of water splashed on me. I could feel that some of my secrets couldn’t be confessed to Zhuge.’
‘I ran away from Zhuge, regardless of the consequences. Since I came to the world, I knew I could not run into water. As long as I touched it, my body shows signs of melting. I need to wait for my body to dry out before I’m able to recover.’
…
‘I know that Zhuge had probably already witnessed it when I was wiping my body. I knew that he didn’t say anything else and took me back before leaving hastily.’
‘I know that…’
‘But I imagined that Zhuge would come back again.’
‘I thought so.’
‘Eventually, Zhuge came back. Seeing the change on his face…I didn’t know what I should do. I tried my best to act as usual, I wanted to get close to him.’
“Don’t!”
‘He went away… This time, he turned about and ran away desperately, no matter how I called for him.’
…
…
I, I could only see him quietly downstairs… I followed him from the back.’
‘I saw Zhuge no longer raise his head, walking vacantly, without the smile on his face.’
‘I walked back to his room quietly, and cleared away all he had… Then I restored everything to its original place.’
‘I sat on the floor alone, waiting for him to come back as usual… But so many times, I hoped that Zhuge wouldn’t open the door.’
‘If so, I felt like…I will seem like I am awaiting his arrival back home.’
‘But I know… I’m different from him all the time.’
‘I know a lot of things… Even if Zhuge doesn’t mind. Even though… But I’m not a real person anyhow, I can’t give him what a real woman could provide him.’
“Aren’t you tired?”
‘Suddenly one day, a strange man appeared in front of me. He was dressed in black, and wore a clown mask… At the very beginning, I felt scared, but this weird guy didn’t do anything to me.’
‘He was quite polite, even deserved to be called a gentleman.’
‘He appeared in this room all at once, and suddenly asked me such a question, I didn’t know how to answer it.’
“Aren’t you tired?”
‘I also asked myself this question.’
Later I said, “If I can’t stay here quietly, there will be no place for me to go.”
He suddenly said, “There is a guy in my shop, he recently brought a client to me… But this guy is actually new and he knows nothing. He seemed to have made a mistake.”
‘I still didn’t know what he was talking about, but I didn’t feel he was malicious… Maybe I also wanted to chat with someone.’
“What attracted him was not the client whom he was thinking of… but you, the one who was by this client’s side.”
“Me?”
“You can call me if feel the need. My respectful guest, whatever your hope is, if only…”
‘After an inexplicable remark, this weird guy left a black card in front of me and then disappeared from my sight.’
…
…
‘It was Zhuge!’
‘He was there!’
‘He was there… For me, he stood on the limelight! On the stage, he unsparingly skinned his heart and tore it to the ground.’
‘I covered my mouth with both my hands… I felt like crying, but I could not shed tears.’
‘I don’t have that kind of thing in my body!’
‘I longed to say that I forgave you… I won’t blame you at all… I really want to see you!’
‘I really really want to…’
‘But I can’t even shed tears!’
‘I can’t even do it… I, I’m not a human being. I can’t act as like a normal human, Zhuge and I… I really want to see him.’
‘I really… really want to see him.’
‘At last, that black card burned up at once in front of me… I saw a wooden door, and heard the sound of the bell.’
I heard that weird man who appeared once said, “Welcome.”
…
…
Yup…
Zhuge raised his head to look up at the small iron window on the wall.
After that day, he didn’t see Nanako anymore. Despite the fact that he came back to the rented apartment from the TV station frantically, he didn’t still meet Nanako.
He saw that the television that wasn’t turned off– — But Nanako was not here.
‘Did I still not obtain Nanako’s forgiveness?’ Zhuge bitterly smiled, and didn’t know how he had spent that night. The very next day, some people came to Zhuge’s rented room.
Chen Jiaming brought the men over here… Zhuge said nothing, following him quietly to the police station.
The guys called police were without mercy and would accuse him… Zhuge didn’t even care when the guy gnashed and swore over there, he just felt his kick and punch that time were so cool. Why didn’t he hit more?
…
‘I won’t give up.’
‘If you won’t forgive me in one day, then two days, three days… a whole lifetime.’
Zhuge breathed deeply, looking at the blue sky outside through the little iron window of the detention room. He didn’t doubt anything, but only had a firm thought in his mind.
No need to be upset… And he shouldn’t be depressed before getting Nanako’s forgiveness.
“Zhuge Cong, you can get out! Someone is here to bail you out, but you’d better not go wandering around. Just wait for the courts summon.”
‘Who would bail me out?’
Zhuge was absent-minded, thinking if he had disturbed his old parents that still lived in his hometown? That would be a real hassle.
He went out despondently, struggling how to explain to his parents… He might be seriously scolded? After all, he did such a shameful thing.
However.
It wasn’t either of his parents… Who was the one that stood waiting outside the door?
Who was the person wearing a white hat, a plain-coloured dress, quietly standing there?
With short hair… Wasn’t it Nanako?
