After engorging herself to the point she appeared pregnant, Wu released a thunderous burp as she gave her protruding belly a contented pat. This earned her a fish-eyed stare from Nezha, who, after coming to terms with the fact she wasn’t dreaming, ended up joining Vahn and Wu at the table.
“Haaaa, look what you’ve done to me. You better take responsibility~.”
Raising his brows, Vahn gave Wu’s melon-like belly a stare before commenting, “That looks pretty convincing. I’m guessing this isn’t the first time you’ve made use of the 72 Transformations to appear pregnant?”
Rather than answer Vahn’s question, Wu pressed down on her stomach as if she were deflating a balloon. This wasn’t an exaggeration, as, despite possessing the ability to transform seamlessly, Wu ended up releasing a prolonged far reminiscent of a whoopie cushion…
Contrasting Wu’s expectations, Vahn responded with a light chuckle before casually disposing of the mountain of plates dominating the kitchen table. One of Gaia’s Textures was a Realm of flesh and blood, so, compared to the stench of billions of rotting corpses, the flowery farts of Wu were relatively tame.
“If there’s nothing else, I’ll escort the two of you to the front gate. Feel free to stop by tomorrow morning for breakfast. I don’t mind cooking up one last feast prior to my departure.”
Since Wu seemed to possess an Innate or Gift that prevented involuntary spatial transfers, Vahn decided to escort the duo on foot. Before he could even urge them out of the kitchen, however, it was Nezha who asked, “Huh? Weren’t we supposed to get drunk and piss the night away? You also promised me resources. How am I supposed to obtain them if you just run off?”
Piggybacking off of Nezha’s words, Wu nodded her head, adding, “Nezha’s right. I was planning to crack out one of my best Monkey Wines. You can’t just give us the boot after feeding us like a pair of stray animals.”
Exhaling an inaudible sigh, Vahn’s expression morphed into a troubled smile as he ran his fingers through his hair and said, “Listen…I don’t mind lending a hand. You’re just not willing to accept it without some form of equivalent exchange. While I can appreciate that, the truth of the matter is that you have nothing I want, need, or desire…”
Shifting his attention to Nezha, Vahn’s brows furrowed as he continued, adding, “You shouldn’t be so quick to compromise on matters regarding your integrity. I’m not sure what kind of relationship you have with Ao Bing but it’s clear they’re important to you. They might forgive you and you might be able to come to terms with your actions, but, in the grand scheme of things, it wouldn’t be worth the guilt and regret you would feel during the interim…”
Leaving Nezha at a loss for words, Vahn shifted his attention to Wu next, his expression hardening as he said, “Pressuring your friend to use their virginity as leverage in some kind of transaction isn’t something a real friend would do. It’s also remarkably hypocritical. You might be able to conceal it from others, but, as a God of Sex, I can tell you’re still a virgin. Trying to convince someone to make a sacrifice you’re unwilling to make is one of the-”
Without waiting for Vahn to finish, Wu gave him an incredulous look, asking, “What are you talking about? I’ve never tried to conceal the fact I’m a virgin. In fact, it’s one of the things I’m most proud of. I mean, just look at me. I might not be a conventional jade beauty but I’m super adorable. I also have my 72 Transformations so I can make myself look as young or mature as I like. The only reason I’m still a virgin is because I’ve never found anyone strong enough to be my partner. Don’t lump me in with those hussies who need to spread their legs in order to get stro-”
Realizing what she was about to say, Wu promptly covered her mouth with both hands before sending a wide-eyed stare towards Nezha. To her surprise, the latter appeared more vexed than angry. After all, even if she was offended by Wu’s words, she couldn’t deny the cold, hard truth contained within…
Instead of blaming Wu for her weakness, Nezha directed her crimson gaze to Vahn as she asked, “If I decided to move forward in spite of your warnings, would you still reject me…?”
Though he was tempted to immediately nod in the affirmative, Vahn decided to remain patient, asking, “Why? Explain your reasoning…”
Spreading her hands and shrugging in a helpless manner, Nezha answered, “I mean, my life isn’t exactly free from regret. Most of the books written about me omit the finer details but they still manage to convey the more important aspects of my history. My nature is tied to destruction, and, no matter how I try to suppress it, I always end up hurting the people around me. Ao Bing was even my slave at one point. It wasn’t until a few hundred years ago that we actually hit it off. Before that, I was pretty terrible to him…”
As she had never confided in anyone like this, Nezha’s words began to trail off as she broke eye contact with both Vahn and Wu. She felt weaker in this one moment than every other moment in her entire life. In spite of this, she managed to gather enough resolve to continued, explaining, “If it’s for the sake of my…no, mine, and Bing Bing’s freedom, I don’t mind picking a few more regrets onto the mountain I live with every single day. The more important thing is that I’m able to obtain our freedom through my own efforts…I don’t need…I don’t want anyone’s pity…”
Hearing Nezha bare her heart to him, Vahn would be lying if he said his own hadn’t melted for the troubled girl. Even Wu wasn’t unaffected, her characteristically mischievous smile replaced by a far more serious and concerned expression. She was well aware of Nezha’s struggles but this was the first time she had ever seen the youthful-looking girl expose herself in such a manner…
Directing her gaze to the person responsible for Nezha’s extremely out-of-character behavior, Wu couldn’t help wondering if Vahn had done something. If he had, she hadn’t been able to detect it. Either way, he was clearly an exceptional person to be able to get the hot-blooded and extremely prideful Nezha to open up mere hours after their first meeting…
Noticing Wu’s gaze, a wry smile developed across Vahn’s face. In truth, he knew exactly why Nezha was behaving this way. He had been exuding a natural and calming aura ever since he arrived in the kitchen. This was aided by his capacity as an A-Rank God of Nature, but, more than anything else, it was the combination of delicious food and drink that had lowered Nezha’s defenses.
Electing to keep this to himself, Vahn’s expression softened as he stared at the crimson-eyed girl slowly coming to terms with the fact she had just revealed her innermost desires. Then, before she could experience an emotional overflow that caused her vulnerability to turn to intractable hostility, he surprised both girls by manifesting a Riolu, the pre-evolved form of the Pokemon Lucario, out of thin air.
“Just as you have things you won’t compromise on, my nature makes it impossible for me to take advantage of your present situation. Thus, instead of providing you a direct increase to your power, I will provide you the means to increase it through your own efforts. This adorable little kit is known as a Riolu. So long as you care for it and treat it like a friend, it will eventually evolve into a creature known as a Lucario. After that, you need only train alongside it to drastically increase your power.”
Preempting any protests she might have, Vahn tossed the Riolu towards the stunned Nezha before going on to explain, “There are more important things than raw power when it comes to strength. If you’re lacking in emotional and spiritual development, your power will rule you instead of the other way around. As a C-Rank God of Destruction, trust me when I say that comprehension and mastery surpass raw power by several orders of magnitude.”
So as to remove any doubt from her mind, Vahn produced the Gift Card denoting his status as a God of Destruction. This earned him a slack-jawed stare from Nezha, as, despite claiming her nature was tied to destruction, she lacked the corresponding Divinity. She was a lesser God of Flames, and, due to the influence of the Three Pure Ones and the Buddhist Faction, her principal Divinities made her the Patron God of Children and Filial Piety. According to Sanzang, it was actually her rejection of these two identities that resulted in her unstable nature.
Alternating her gaze between the violet-hued Gift Card and the predominately blue creature staring up at her with large, rust-red eyes, the emotion at the forefront of Nezha’s mind was confusion. She had already resolved to do whatever it took to secure freedom for herself and Ao Bing, so, now that Vahn had put his foot down and presented her with an alternative solution, she didn’t know how to react…
As if sensing her thoughts, Riolu extended its paws upward, a smiling expression on its face as it playfully chimed, “Ri Riolu~!”
“…”
Though her heart palpitated slightly when she met its gaze, Nezha held out the confused Riolu towards Vahn as she said, “I can’t accept this. I don’t have the means to care for it and it’s clearly not a normal animal if it has the potential to help a High-Ranking God become stronger. If it was sold at an auction, there’s no way in hell I would be able to afford it. Like I said before…I have no intention of accepting any handouts…”
Refusing to accept the disheartened-looking creature, Vahn took a step away from Nezha as he said, “You’re mistaken. I’m not actually giving this to you. Pokemon, the race of creatures this little fella comes from, are not pets. They are companions with their own wants and needs. If you failed to earn its trust or treated it poorly, it would simply leave. As for the whole auction thing, well, you can rest assured nothing like this would ever appear. Each Pokemon is tied to my Divinity and has received my Blessing. The moment they are in danger, I would become aware of it. If someone did try to put them up on auction, I would merely summon the Pokemon to my side and then persecute the people responsible.”
Furrowing her brows, Nezha was about to refuse a second time when the Riolu in her hands began to tear up, its previously happy smile replaced by a pitiful, puppy-eyed expression as it muttered a sad, “Riolu…?”
Though she would never, ever admit it, Nezha had always had a weakness for cute things. Thus, the moment she met the pitiable Riolu’s gaze, it was like a vice had closed around her heart. Her brows furrowed even deeper, but, instead of addressing Vahn, she maintained eye contact with the puppy-like creature as she inquired, “Do you really want to be my partner that badly? You don’t even know me…”
Without so much as a moment of hesitation, the diminutive Pokemon raised one of its paws, its sad expression disappearing in an instant as it happily replied, “Riolu~!”
Feeling waves of happiness exuding from the Riolu’s body like a gentle warmth, a byproduct of its natural ability to manipulate its aura and interpret emotions, Nezha’s brows ended up creasing to the point it looked like she was constipated. Wu immediately took advantage of this, saying, “If you need to take a shit, there’s a bathroom down the hall…”
With an illusory tick mark appearing on her head, Nezha immediately glared towards Wu, shouting, “You’re the one that needs to take a shit you flatulent monkey…!” with a slight flush to her face…
…
..
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(A/N: Alternate Titles: ‘Someone needs to give this monkey a spanking…’,’Everyone has a reason for the way they behave…’,’The indefensible puppy eyes strat…!’)
