Seeing Vahn ignore her, Nuuba’s eyes squinted in displeasure. The former might not be a member of the Jade Palace, but, as the Imperial Princess of a 4-Digit Community, Nuuba felt he should show her at least a little respect.
“Nuuba…”
Tearing her eyes away from where Vahn was seated, Nuuba was slightly surprised to see her father materializing next to her. Any desire she had to make a scene promptly faded away, as, despite his grandfatherly temperament, Nuuba understood just how fierce her father could be.
Adding to Nuuba’s incredulity, Huangdi borrowed a page out of Vahn’s book, gently caressing the befuddled dragoness’s hair as he said, “You did well. It’s time for you to return to your seat.”
With an uncharacteristically bashful expression developing across her face, Nuuba lowered her head before replying, “Okay…” in a soft, timid tone. It had been centuries since she last received any kind of affection from her father, so, with hundreds of other gods present, Nuuba was as embarrassed as she was happy…
Making a mental note to spend more time with his children, Huangdi observed Nuuba’s departure with a smile before rising into the air and asking, “Would anyone else like to issue a challenge? As I have stated previously, you have three minutes to make a decision. If no one comes forth, this-”
Before Huangdi could finish speaking, an earth-shattering force impacted the center of the arena. The resultant shockwave was so intense that it caused the nearly indestructible arena to split into four equal parts as the barrier surrounding it fractured like glass. Then, in a thunderous yet girlish tone, a voice cried out, “You dare to hold a banquet without inviting me!? Looks like this Great Me is gonna have to teach you old bastards another hard lesson…!”
Hearing the voice, nearly half the assembly immediately rose to their feet in an effort to be the first to exit the banquet hall. This caused a secondary explosion as the person nearest the exit was sent flying back into the hall by an extendable pole. Their body ended up smashing into the ceiling as a petite figure with rice-gold hair and emerald green eyes stepped through the door, asking, “Where the hell do you think you’re going!?”
As those closest to the little girl were about to protest, several other versions of the petite figure appeared to block the other exits. The cloud of debris near the center of the arena also vanished as the person responsible for its destruction emerged from within the crater caused by their impact.
“I came all the way from Mount Huaguo to see how everyone was doing. Why are you trying to run away? Talk about rude…”
A stark contrast to her chiding tone, the golden-haired girl was currently in the process of picking her nose using the tip of her pinky finger. When she was finished, she removed it to reveal a rather sizeable booger. Then, with a mischievous smile on her face, she looked towards Huangdi and said, “Hey, old man. This Great Me has brought you a gift. Make sure you receive it properly~!”
Punctuating her words, the golden-haired girl blew on the tip of her finger. As a result, the booger was promptly dislodged like a bullet, but, instead of staying its original size, it promptly enlarged to the size of a rather disgusting-looking meteor. In spite of this, Huangdi maintained a relaxed smile as he playfully remarked, “While I appreciate the gesture, I’m afraid this old man will have to refuse the Great Sage’s gift…”
With a twist of his hand, Huangdi displaced the hill-sized booger before it could create a mess in the hall. This earned him a snicker from the golden-haired girl, who, after giving him a thumbs up, looked around the room, asking, “Where’s that old bastard, Laozi? It’s been a while since I took a piss on his bald head.”
Caressing his beard, Huangdi promptly replied, “Laozi hasn’t appeared within the Jade Palace since the last time you decided to wreak havoc. In fact, he isn’t even in the East at the moment. He went on a pilgrimage to the South in search of materials and medicinal recipes.”
Clicking her tongue, the golden-haired girl shouldered her staff before looking around a second time. It had been three years since the last time she crashed a party, so, now that she had made an appearance, she wasn’t going to hold back.
“Xiao Wu…didn’t you promise me you wouldn’t cause a scene in the Jade Palace for the next five-hundred years…?”
Hearing the familiar voice, the golden-haired girl’s shoulders shrank ever so slightly as she looked over her shoulder to find the Jade Empress, Xiwangmu, staring at her with a moderately disproving expression on her face. This caused the girl, the legendary Sun Wu Kong, to scratch the back of her head as she answered, “Ayi…it’s not what you think…”(A/N: Ayi means Auntie.)
Cupping her cheek, Xiwangmu adopted a hurt expression as she repeated, “Ayi…? I thought I told you to call me Muqin…”(A/N: Muqin means Mother.)
With the corner of her mouth twitching, Wu decided that the best course of action was to pretend she hadn’t heard Xiwangmu’s remark. She could always apologize later, so, for the time being, she ignored the white-haired Goddess, shouting, “Okay, you lot! You know the drill! Form an orderly queue! If this is your first time, move to the front of the line! When your turn arrives, your options are to kowtow ten times and call me Grandfather or have your shit kicked in. Your choice…!”
Punctuating her words, Wu manifested a dark purple Geass Roll that glowed with fiery golden runes in place of ink. This was a type of Geass Roll limited to the various Demon Lords that dominated the Little Garden, and, as could be expected, it didn’t leave room for refusal.
**********
< I, Your Grandfather, Carry a Big Stick >
[Win Condition]
1: Follow the Rules.
[Hidden Conditions]
1: ???
2: ???
3: ???
[Rules]
1: Every Player within the Host’s perception at the start of the Gift Game is considered a participant.
2: Kowtow ten times and refer to the Host as Grandfather.
3: Failure to fulfill the aforementioned condition will result in a beating.
[Restrictions]
1: Leaving the area after the beginning of the Gift Game is prohibited.
2: Surrendering in the midst of your beating is strictly prohibited.
3: No pervy stuff unless you want to have an extendable pole shoved up your ass.
[Rewards]
1: You get to avoid a beating.
2: Variable
[Penalty]
1: You will be marked by the Curse of the Monkey King. Monkies will randomly appear in your surroundings to destroy your property and pull pranks on you.
[Time Limit]
Until everyone designated by the Host has either paid their respects or received a beating.
**********
Reading the ginormous scroll, everyone unfamiliar with Wu Kong’s diabolical Gift Game adopted expressions of rage and indignation. They had never heard of such an unreasonable Gift Game, but, seeing their fellow Gods reluctantly forming an orderly queue, they had little choice but to grit their teeth and get in line. After all, there were more than sixty versions of the golden-haired girl present, and, according to the rumors, each and every one of them was just as strong as the original…
…
..
.
While everyone else was forming into a queue, Vahn was observing the events with a glazed look and a wry smile on his face. Though he really should have, especially after encountering Shiroyasha and Algol, Vahn had never considered that the Wukong upon which all others were based might be female.
(“I’m starting to regret not using Loi-chan to investigate my opponents in advance…”)
In response to Vahn’s musings, a soft chuckle echoed in the back of his mind before Sis remarked, (*It wouldn’t really change anything. I’m not sure why, but you seem to have a strange connection with the fates of overpowered little girls. Even if you avoided the banquet, it was only a matter of time until your paths crossed. I mean, just look how cute she is…*)
Unable to refute Sis’s words, an exhausted sigh escaped from Vahn’s throat as he placed Fenrir, Mikoto, and even the Jade Rabbit inside his personalized Little Garden. The Geass Rolls didn’t say anything about others transporting you outside the play area, so, even if Wu realized something was amiss, she couldn’t really do anything about it.
Rising to his feet, Vahn was unsurprised to find three versions of Wu appearing around him, asking, “Where did those three furballs go? I don’t recall giving them permission to leave.”
Looking down at the nearest monkey-girl, Vahn’s expression morphed into a relaxed smile as he answered, “None of your business.”
Instead of taking offense to his words, the trio of Wu(s) adopted impish smiles on their faces as they sonorously stated, “I knew you would say something like that. Tell me, are you a member of the Jade Palace?”
Shaking his head, Vahn answered, “No. I received an offer but ultimately turned it down. I’m here as a guest of the Jade Emperor.”
Placing their index fingers on their pursed lips, the trio of Wu(s) adopted expressions similar to people in deep thought. They, or, more specifically, their original had been observing the banquet since the beginning. If Vahn hadn’t intervened, they would have appeared to prevent Nezha from accepting Vor’s challenge, so, in a way, they kind of owed him a favor. After all, Nezha was one of their underlings.
Waving their hands in a dismissive manner, the trio of Wu(s) said, “You can go. Once we’re finished here, we’ll come by to share a gourd of monkey wine. Make sure you prepare snacks.”
Without waiting for Vahn’s response, the trio of Wu(s) promptly departed to help corral the queue of Gods. This left Vahn at a momentary loss as he hadn’t expected such a legendary troublemaker to just send him on his way…
(*It’s probably because you rescued Nezha. If you’ll recall, the latter had previously threatened her father by stating she would tattle on him to her ‘Sister Wu’. With Xiwangmu referred to Wukong as Xiao Wu, who else could she be referring to? Li Jing isn’t exactly weak.*)
“Right…”
Shifting his attention to the location of Nezha, Vahn was unsurprised to find them conversing with one of Wu’s clones with a massive, toothy grin on their face. As for Li Jing, he had joined his fellow Gods in the queue, a grim and defeated expression marring his countenance. He almost looked like a death row prisoner being marched to the electric chair.
“Wow…I almost feel sorry for him…”
Though Li Jing was a terrible father, Vahn knew the man wasn’t singularly responsible for Nezha’s bad behavior. He had been dealt a pretty terrible hand by fate, and, when it ultimately came down to it, Nezha was the person causing trouble. The influence of people like Wu clearly didn’t help, so, while he had no intention of bailing the man out of his present predicament, Vahn made a mental note to meet with the man and hear his side of the story. After all, he couldn’t blame Li Jing for his lack of patience and understanding if he wasn’t willing to demonstrate similar characteristics…
On that note, Vahn waved towards the Jade Emperor and Lady Xiwangmu before promptly phasing out of the banquet hall. A part of him was interested to see how things would play out between Wu and Vor, but, after seeing how the ashen-haired beauty dealt with Nezha, Vahn was seventy percent sure she would simply kowtow. She didn’t give off the impression of someone who was particularly concerned with appearances. If she was, she wouldn’t have stared impassively when Nezha turned over her table or when Mikoto caused her to pee herself…
…
..
.
(A/N: Alternate Titles: ‘I imagine Wu having a similar personality to Laharl…’,’The Loli Curse is still going strong…’,’RIP Li Jing…’)
