She had never seen him crying in her two lifetimes. This was the first time she realized that this man shed tears.
A droplet fell from the side of her face. It had some warmth in it instead of being cold like a raindrop. She knew that it was not a raindrop and it was impossible for it to be raining.
She extended her arm to his back and patted him again and again, her eyes hollow. He finally returned home and reunited with her. They would not need to be apart for a long period anymore and they were survivors of a disaster.
It turned out that her life was just full of suffering.
She did not get out of the car nor return to her place whilst Lu Yi only maintained his silence. However, she would shrink back as if she was frightened whenever he attempted to touch her.
It was as if it hurt her when someone touched her, as if a touch would bring her pain.
It was like she had thorns all over her body, which hurt herself and others.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to speak, just write it out. ” Lu Yi grabbed a notebook and a pen from the car and placed them in front of her.
Yan Huan extended her hand to take the notebook and pen and lowered her head. She never raised her head once since the beginning. She also did not utter anything, not even a single word. Her fingers were icy cold like a ghost’s and there was not any warmth in her.
She took the pen and scribbled a few sentences on the notebook. Then, she handed over the notebook before hiding her fingers back into her sleeves quickly. Her hands were covered with scars, bruises, cuts, scratches, and frostbites. It was almost winter and the frostbites on her hands were recurring, causing her swollen fingers to look like radishes.
Lu Yi took the notebook. Her handwriting was bad as if it was written by someone with frozen-stiff fingers who could barely hold a pen. Although the weather was not too cold and the car was heated at the time, she only managed to write these scribbly words.
What was written on the notebook was no surprise to Lu Yi as Yan Huan had mentioned that place more than once. This was her previous home with Yi Ling, the place where they had lived for several years.
She lived there.
She was living there all this time.
However, he had no idea.
It was said that spouses would have a tacit understanding, but he had never thought that she was in that place. Right, he should have thought about it long ago. Yes, he should have known long ago. The only person who could put a child’s life first would be a mother. He could not think of another person who would be willing to give up her own life for their three children other than her.
He refused to think about the reason why Yan Huan became so thin and also what happened to her.
He would not ask nor talk about it.
He was scared too.
He was scared that she would leave so far away from his sight that he could no longer find her.
The car was swiftly driven so they arrived at the address written on the notebook within half an hour. It was Lu Yi’s first time coming here. Ever since Yan Huan moved away from this place, not only Lu Yi, maybe even Yan Huan herself had never thought that she would return here one day and live a worse life than before.
Lu Yi got out of the car and distanced himself. He understood clearly that Yan Huan was afraid of seeing him and anyone else. Otherwise, it would be impossible for her not to go home nor let anyone know that she was alive all this time.
The car door finally opened. A woman wearing baggy clothes emerged from the car with her hands and face covered. She was extremely thin, so thin that the baggy clothes could almost fit several numbers of her. The wind was entering her clothes through her collar and sleeves from time to time, creating swooshing noises from her clothes.
She had a large mask on which covered almost her whole face. The only thing that remained unchanged was her eyes. However, her eyes seemed to be covered with a lot of dust this time. She walked to her residence with her legs limping, it looked very inconvenient for her to walk.
Looking at her legs, Lu Yi’s lips were trembling to a point where it hurt.
Creak. Yan Huan took out the key to open the door and entered. Lu Yi followed her in but he cautiously kept a distance of five steps away from her.
He noticed that she was most comfortable at this distance. Only so she would not be nervous or afraid.
She switched the lights on. Everything inside was very simple. There was an old cabinet, a couch, and a small kitchen that could barely fit a person. There were two small bedrooms, the one which might be where Yi Ling stayed was now used for storage. He could see that there was only a small bed in the other bedroom. The quilts were all neatly stacked on the bed, which was Yan Huan’s nature. She had always been like this, where she would never allow her place to be a mess no matter what.
Yan Huan came out of the kitchen with a glass of water and placed it in front of Lu Yi. Then, she distanced herself away, not more nor less, just five steps.
Lu Yi took the glass. His fingers were exuding force, so hard that he almost crushed the glass in his hands.
He drank all the water in one go and sat there, refusing to leave.
Yan Huan entered the kitchen again and touched her own face. In fact, she did not want to face him with such a face but things were happening against her will. No one knew this man’s stubbornness better than her. She was well aware that he would not give up easily until he achieved his goal.
She came out from the kitchen again with a bowl of noodles and placed it in front of him. Then, she left hurriedly and brought herself another bowl of noodles. With a bang, she closed the bedroom door and hid in her old room as she refused to be outside. She could not bear to eat there while exposing her face.
It was not Lu Yi’s fault. The ones to blame were the Su family, Su Muran, Su Qingdong, and Zhu Xianglan. Lu Yi was never at fault.
She pulled off the mask on her face, grabbed the chopsticks and ate the noodles one mouthful at a time. There was no mirror here, so she did not know how her appearance was. Yet, she knew that she looked like a ghost. Otherwise, Lu Qin would not have mistaken her as a ghost from just now.
Outside the bedroom, Lu Yi took the bowl, but he did not grab the chopsticks. He only ate the noodles when it was cold. There was nothing much in the bowl of noodles. There were only some noodles with some green onions and a pinch of salt, nothing else. He only tasted salt while eating it.
The noodles were not too bad, but his heart ached while eating it. He could not imagine what Yan Huan had gone through these days. Did she eat simple meals like this every day, or pick up trash for others to make a living?
