The man did not back away nor did he let go of her. He lowered his eyes to watch her: “You left silently for two years. It wasn’t easy for me to finally find you. Do you think I’ll let you go so easily?”
“Otherwise? Does Mr Li think that I will return to being an outsider in a marriage? A third party who knows she is a third party but insists on being that shameless?” Feng Ling watched him calmly: “I’m very rational. It has been a long time since we last met. I don’t have any resentment or questions. If I’m not trying to cling onto anything, what right do you have to cling onto me?”
Li Nanheng tightened his grip on her shoulders. “Do you remember, I told you to wait three years for me?”
Feng Ling appeared as though she had heard a joke. A mocking smile appeared on her originally expressionless face. She raised her arms and waved his hands aside. As she brought her keys out to unlock her door, she answered him mildly: “I don’t remember anything I shouldn’t remember. Please take your leave now.”
“Feng Ling, give me an opportunity to explain. There were things that happened against my will. It’s because I had responsibility to bear. I…”
The room door was unlocked. Feng Ling pushed the door open as she turned back to look at him: “I know a lot of matters cannot be easily explained. If you truly wished to explain, you would have explained this to me before you even got married. There’s no need to say anything more. I’ve already placed everything down. There’s nothing else for us to say to each other.”
After saying this, she entered her apartment.
The door met some resistance as she tried to close it. She turned back to look at the man’s palm pressing against the door. She glanced at it indifferently and moved her hands away. She then turned back to face him head on. “Do you plan on coming in? Li Nanheng, you were once like this as well. You said you wanted to step into my world and you insisted on doing so. No matter how many times I tried to raise my defenses against you, you broke them down over and over again. And then? When you finally had what you wanted in your hands, you left without looking back. What about now? Do you still want to come in? Indeed, it’s quite impossible for me to stop you. What will you do?”
The short haired woman in front of her had lost the youthful attitude she had in the past. It was the difference between a young girl and a woman. Her gaze was even more indifferent than it had been when she was in the XI Base. It also contained the experience and a determination he had never seen before, and the honesty he did not wish to see.
Anger and pettiness were evidence of deep love. Fear, hatred and resentment were proof that she once loved.
But there was nothing contained in her eyes.
Her gaze was indifferent to the point where he could not find any evidence that he once existed in her world.
Li Nanheng slowly lowered his hands. After watching her for a long while, he spoke hoarsely: “Rest early.”
Feng Ling did not answer. She expressionlessly shut the door with a ‘peng’ sound and moved to lock the door from inside, completely blocking the man out from her world.
It was quiet in this room, but perhaps because it was extremely lively outside right now, it caused the space in her room to feel even quieter.
This quiet was slightly different.
Feng Ling stood in the entryway. She did not move to look at the tightly shut door behind her.
…
The next day, early morning.
The festive atmosphere was still present. When she tugged aside her curtains, she could see the snow-covered ground and the couples running together in the early morning.
The lights on the Christmas tree were already turned off, but the colourful decorations continued sparkling under the morning sunlight.
Feng Ling usually did not have any plans early in the morning. Her classes usually began at ten in the morning, or one in the afternoon.
She fried an egg for herself and toasted two pieces of bread. She then spread some blueberry flavoured jam on the bread and laid some vegetables and ham on top. She directly cut the sandwich into half and ate it.
After breakfast, she put on her coat and prepared to go for a jog. Even though she had already left the base and there was no need for her to train everyday, she had grown used to the routine. The moves she did when she taught the students were completely insufficient. She needed to at least run two to three kilometers a day to feel comfortable.
She opened her door and was about to step out when she noticed the figure standing by the hallway windows from the corner of her eyes. The moment she lifted her head, she saw that Li Nanheng was standing there. The man stood by the windows, against the direction of the sunlight.
She was startled. She lowered her head to check the time on her watch before turning back to look at the man.
Upon hearing the door unlock, Li Nanheng turned back to look at her: “Slept well?”
The man was still dressed in the same set of clothes, while the air was filled with a thicker scent of cigarettes. She glanced back and saw that there were indeed more cigarettes on the trashcan.
“You stayed here all night?” She turned back to look at her.
The man’s back was facing the sunlight as he watched her. He did not answer her question and only said: “At least I didn’t disturb your rest last night.”
Feng Ling watched him speechlessly. Her gaze was as indifferent as eve.: “And so, instead you chose to release secondhand smoke by the entrance of my home?”
Li Nanheng’s brows moved slightly. He lifted his head to look at the air vents and air-conditioning in the hallway: “I saw the words ‘smoking area’ written by the staircase. Besides, your apartment door is very well made. The secondhand smoke shouldn’t have affected you.”
Feng Ling really admired the way Li Nanheng was as shameless as ever. She held onto the handle of her apartment door: “Why are you guarding my house? I’m going out to work. I don’t have the time to deal with you. Didn’t I tell you to leave last night?”
“Did I say that I was leaving?”
Feng Ling furrowed her brows: “So? I don’t have anything I wish to discuss with you. I’ve already said it once last night. Let me repeat this again. I’ve already placed the past behind me. I don’t wish to mention any of it. I’m heading to work now.”
The man placed one hand in his pocket. He first lowered his head and lifted one corner of his lip to sigh with a smile. He then looked back up at her with raised brows: “I don’t have anything I wish to discuss either. Go and work. I won’t disturb you.”
“Then leave.”
“Where am I supposed to go?”
“To your hotel. To Los Angeles. Back to your car. Or return to the place where everything belongs to you. Go wherever you like. It’s unrelated to me.”
“Who told you that I’m living in a hotel?”
“…”
“I drove here directly. I’ve been sleeping in my car for several days. I haven’t been eating well or sleeping well. After meeting you, I was even stabbed by your words more than a thousand times. Right now, my mood is extremely poor.” The man watched her, appearing as though this was the way things were supposed to be. “I stood outside your place for an entire night. Go work if you need to. I’ll go in and sleep.”
Feng Ling: “…”
“You’re going into my house to sleep?”
“Do you have any problems?”
Feng Ling suspected that this man truly did not understand what shame was: “I don’t think there are any reasons for me to keep you.”
“Last night, weren’t you afraid I would do something to you if I go in? That’s why I didn’t disturb you. Since you’re heading out now, can’t you let me go in to catch some rest?”
“No.”
Feng Ling’s refusal was firm.
