Mo Shitian grabbed her hand suddenly, so hard that he almost broke her bones. Su Ruyu had no reaction, as if her hand wasn’t hers.
The pain she was feeling in her heart was far more than the pain in the limbs.
“Impossible!” Mo Shitian gritted his teeth. ‘How could she end things like this? Impossible.’ He would never break up with her. Mo Shitian clasped her shoulders and forced her to turn around. “If you don’t blame me, why can’t you stay with me?”
Su Ruyu looked at him blankly. She was the only one who knew how much she loved this man in front of her. The twenty years of void in her life was merely a short moment to her, and her feelings toward Mo Shitian had completely halted at the love-hate relationship they had when she was seventeen years old.
How much she loved that man was how much she hated him. The love and hatred she had then was like a double-edged knife that had cut her all over. Now that her old wounds were dug up again, she just couldn’t love him anymore.
Ruhua’s feelings, her parents’ death…
“Besides the feud between me and Ruhua, one thing I still can’t accept is my parents’ death. Although it was not entirely your fault, you had a part in it,” Su Ruyu said coldly.
“I didn’t expect…”
“Who could? If we could predict the future, all these wouldn’t happen. I would have hidden far away from you the first time we met.” Su Ruyu stood up all of a sudden. Due to the lack of rest and agitation, she felt dizzy and stumbled for a few steps. Mo Shitian’s heart ached.
“Su Ruyu, are you saying that you regret knowing me?” Mo Shitian stood up and asked while gritting his teeth.
Su Ruyu’s heart bled. Regret? She had never regretted it. She had loved him with all her heart. For more than twenty years, her husband and children weren’t by her side, and this relationship had destroyed her family, causing her to be left with nothing. She was desperate and distressed to the extent that she wanted to die. However, she had never regretted it.
Falling in love with Mo Shitian and having him fall in love with her too were the proudest things in her life.
But what to do?
She couldn’t take it anymore.
“Let me tell you. It’s impossible for us to end things like this!” Mo Shitian bolted to Su Ruyu and clasped her shoulders tightly. His eyes were also filled with blood. “For over twenty years, I lived a life of pure misery. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of you. I endured a tremendous amount of despair and pain just so I could reunite with you, no matter if we were alive or dead. Since we have reunited now, I would never let you go. Su Ruyu, kill me if you can. In that case, it will really be the end. If not, stop saying that you’ll end things with me.”
“I don’t believe that you would be so cruel to me. Su Ruyu, tell me. You won’t leave me, right?” As if he had gone insane, Mo Shitian shook her shoulders crazily, waiting for her answer.
He needed a firm answer, a promise that she wouldn’t leave.
“Mo Shitian, I don’t have the mood to reply to you now. Don’t force me.” Su Ruyu became angry as well, and her gaze was as cold and sharp as a knife. However, upon seeing the look on his face and his fierce gaze, she felt like her heart was being cut. She couldn’t help but tear up. “Why? Why did I meet you?”
It was a question that was unsolvable.
“You had ranted enough about the death of your parents then. Am I right to say that you are facing difficulties in dealing with Ruhua and the twins now? Because you didn’t want to hurt your sister’s feelings, you came to hurt mine. Su Ruyu, you are cruel!” Mo Shitian spoke coldly. “Why are you being tolerant after all that she had done to you?”
“I am not!”
“Liar. I know you more than how much you know yourself. In the past, you refused to marry me because of Su Ruhua and insisted on waiting for her to come back. Ruyu, what happened in the end? What happened? And now, you are hurting me again because of her? Okay, if she is that important to you, I will kill her right now. Let me see what other excuses you have.” Mo Shitian’s gaze turned crazily ruthless. He shook off his hands and walked toward the door quickly like a flash of lightning.
Su Ruyu was shocked. With one move, she blocked his way at the door and attacked him. She shouted, “Mo Shitian, you lunatic! Can you calm down?”
“Calm down? You know I have never calmed down when it comes to you. That woman had split us up for so many years, and you even reject me because of her now. Why? You only care about your sister. What about me? How dare you ask me to calm down! I will calm down eventually after I kill her.” With the eyes of a devil’s, Mo Shitian fought with Su Ruyu stubbornly.
After one round, he slowed down. After all, he wouldn’t really hurt Su Ruyu. Su Ruyu slapped him and said, “Are you done being crazy?”
“No!” Mo Shitian answered firmly. “I have gone crazy since the day you died. It has always been like this for the past twenty years. Do you think I would care about it now?”
Suddenly, Su Ruyu was reminded of his mental illness. Her heart ached so much, and she stroked his red cheeks with her trembling hands. Su Ruyu couldn’t help but cry her heart out, and tears rolled down her cheeks like a stream.
“Why? Why have we become like this? Ahhh…” Su Ruyu went out of control and bawled her eyes out in his arms. She cried and screamed loudly, as if she was ranting all her grief and agony out. She was not going to hide it anymore.
It was really hard on her to bear this pain. She kept telling herself not to cry as she wouldn’t be able to judge calmly if she did. But… Who exactly was going to pay for all the agony they were feeling?
“Shitian, Shitian…” Su Ruyu held his hands that were on her shoulders. Her hands were pale and the veins on the back of her hands popped out. Mo Shitian was shocked and hugged her tightly, letting her cry in his arms.
It was the first time that Su Ruyu had cried in front of him. She didn’t cry when the tragedy had happened, when the child had died, or when she wanted to die together with him.
She had suppressed those tears for more than twenty years. It was time for her to vent out.
Her tears not only drenched his clothes but also burned his heart. The pain was numbing yet obvious, vividly engraved in his bones.
